作文试炼场5月12日（长期无人修改，悬赏--小楣）

ccrobin000UID: 2296575

题目:Your school has received a gift of money. What do you think is the best way for your school to spend this money? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

时间:约50'

正文:
With the gift money given to our school, there is a question must be raised, which was: how to use the sum of money as a correct way? In my opinion, build a modern cyber-cafe should be the option, which was more reasonable than other ways, and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here.

Firstly, a cyber-cafe usually called as "net-cafe", s a normal cafe with the internet connection and could offer the students, who were consuming there, a free web service. Student can check the latest news, enjoy the music and even more read the books in the collage library. Though, students can obtain the same information from library, browsing the banner-like book list really killing our time, and if you located a book, to grasp it from the hill-like shelf may be a heavy physical task. Using the computer technology you can easily search the book you want in any minute and never afraid your book fine. The grace surroundings never fall to fascinated you when you are connection the web. That is a simple reason that why people are willing to go to the net-cafe.

Secondly, as a public entertainment center, the net-cafe would promote people to communicate with each other; Students always complain that there is not a suitable place for them, at where they can meet their friends. The net-cafe created a harmony atmosphere of friends-meeting. Engaging your Italy coffee, chatting with your buddy friends, admiring the soft music and the cafe even can serve dinner or meal that can filled your starve stomach. For our school, with the students spending their leisure time, the money they cost should be an extra income. So choose the net-cafe would be an advisable option.

There will be a lot of ways to spend the money, like employ more faculties, pay for the students’ fellowship and so on. However, not only students but our school can gain many benefits from the cyber-cafe.

All above are the factors why we choose building a cyber-cafe for our school. A Chinese idiom says:" use the best steel on the blade of a sword." So make the right decision and do right thing is the way to use the gift money.



[ 本帖最后由 lintelle 于 2007-5-22 15:34 编辑 ]

ccrobin000UID: 2296575

怎么没人给我改?

china122UID: 2315735

今天太累了，明天有时间给你看看哈，不用急。呵呵

beckwinnerUID: 2292478

我批改, 先写完我的,马上给你批改

Sisi_leeUID: 2330268

With the gift money given to our school, there is a question raised: how to use the money in a correct way? In my opinion, building a modern cyber-cafe should be the option, which was more reasonable than other ways, and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here.

Firstly, a cyber-cafe usually called as "net-cafe", s a normal cafe with the internet connection available and could offer students a free web service. Student can check the latest news, enjoy music and even read the electronic version of books in the collage library. Though students can obtain the same information from library, browsing the paper-based book list is really more time-consuming,. Suppose that you want to find a book, would you like to spend hours among shelf after shelf's books in the library to look for it? Not to say the time you spend on your way there. However, by using computer technology we can easily get access to the book we want at any time, without worrying about the deadline for returning it back. This is a much easier way and appeals to students, therefore, it will end up helping them study.

Secondly, as a public entertainment center, the net-cafe would promote people's communication with each other; Students always complain that there is not a suitable place for them, where they can meet their friends and have fun. The net-cafe created a harmonious atmosphere for the get-togethers.
There will be a lot of ways to spend the money, like employing more faculties, paying for the students’ fellowship and so on. However, based on what were mentioned above, it is self-evident that our university can gain many benefits from investing the money in founding a cyber-cafe.

本人感觉你的语法还需要磨练，而且有些句子都没有必要。如果你马上就要考试了，你就练一些短一点的作文吧，写的越多，可能瑕疵越多。

HeswingUID: 2218592

好长时间不改作文了，改的不好见谅:handshake

HeswingUID: 2218592

要考试了是吗？赶快把固定的句子们，特定的表达，比如说陈述理由什么的那种句子档次提上去

melfice_seaverUID: 2235897

Heswing组长，好久不见了！:handshake

kevinliu6883UID: 2338522

Cyber-cafe, sounds like a "commens" in my university.The commens serve the sudents, faculty and staff convinience for gym cloth, textbook, snack, lunch, and entertainments like electric games.
On the other hands cyber-cafe could provide rooms for conference, workshop, party, ball and movie theater. Many American universitys have such buildings on campus. some have a name such as "student center". Many students get there for information or just to find a seat to do their homework too. Of course internet connection is provided in such buildings.
Students are the center of a university. University should benefit students in many ways. I didn't see many such facility in Bejing University. There university cafeteria serves one single purpose, or at most a dance site on weekends. The efficiency is low. I don't blame the simplicity of these ugly buildings for they were built in 1970s even earlier. I hope new buildings serves more people at high efficiency.
The most important is for people to have new idea.

HeswingUID: 2218592

原帖由 melfice_seaver 于 2007-5-23 21:51 发表
Heswing组长，好久不见了！:handshake

是啊是啊好久不见，你托福考了吧，成绩怎么样？