生如夏花作业第3次——by lilac

lilackyUID: 2301568

What are some important qualities of a good supervisor (boss)? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

Considering the duty of a supervisor, for my part, to be a good supervisor, some important qualities such as honesty, responsibility, large-minded and foresight are needed.An honest and responsible person always can be trusted. Meanwhile large-minded and foresight are important to a leader.

Maybe there are some factors I overlooked, so that some may say that  people can't be honest all the time in the realm of business fair. But the meaning of honesty I mentioned here is be honest to yourself. No matter how the other people consider, if someone cheat himself or herself, he/she just live in a not real  world and cannot see surroudings clearly. If so, how can he/she lead all staff to a right way? As a result, a supervisor has to be honest at least to himself/ herself, then he/she analysis the overall situation.

It is also very important that a supervisor has to be a responsible person. Everyone makes thousands of decisions, but not thinks over every decision. Because of they don't have responsibility to some of them. Believe in that, a resonsible supervisor is careful to prevent cursory decision so  that  he/she can be  trusted by all staff.

Some qualities are good for a supervisor such as largemined and foresight. A supervisor must face many situations everyday, so he/she need to select most important things to solve. To maintain a clear thought, some tiny things must be passed over. Someone who always sweats for something not worthy is not proper to be a supervisor. Moreover, a smart supervisor always have a plan for the next step to ensure all things go well. It is obviously that a person of foresight always obtain advantageous opportunity.

Above all, to be a good supervisor is not very easy, so much qualities are important to him/her. Maybe that is why a good supervisor is someone we only find by chance.

[ 本帖最后由 lilacky 于 2007-7-9 09:43 编辑 ]

PapillonFoxUID: 2171945

What are some important qualities of a good supervisor (boss)? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

Considering the duty of a supervisor, for my part, to be a good supervisor, some important qualities such as honesty, responsibility, large-minded(形容词，和另外三个名词没有统一) and foresight are needed. An honest and responsible person always can be trusted. Meanwhile large-minded and foresight are important to a leader. （这两句话写的不太好，可以考虑写成，together with those essential qualities, it shapes an eminent boss worthy of respect and trust.）

Maybe there are some factors I overlooked(这句话提出的太早了，重要的内容还没说呢。建议这种类型的语言放在最后一段收尾。另外这段也没有主题句啊！), so that some may say that  people can't be honest all the time in the realm of business fair.（TOEFL写作不用像GRE写作那样，要分析的那么透彻，这段只要将honest的特点写出来就可以了） But the meaning of honesty I mentioned here is be honest to yourself. No matter how the other people consider, if someone cheat himself or herself, he/she just live in a not real  world（表述有问题，中文可以这么说，但是英语似乎没有这样用的，是不是可以说 would just be taken apart from primary atmosphere.） and cannot see(distinguish) surroudings clearly. If so, how can he/she lead all staff to a right way? As a result(意思用在这里不恰当), a supervisor has to be honest at least to himself/ herself, then he/she analysis the overall situation.

It is also very important that a supervisor has to be a responsible person. Everyone makes thousands of decisions, but not thinks over every decision. Because of （because才能接句子）they don't have responsibility to some of them. Believe in that, a resonsible supervisor is careful to prevent cursory decision so  that  he/she can be  trusted by all staff.（论述的不够清楚，比如为什么少做草率的决定就会值得别人信赖呢？）

Some qualities are good for a supervisor such as largemined and foresight（and前后不一致）. A supervisor must face many situations everyday, so he/she need to select most important things to solve. To maintain a clear thought, some tiny things must be passed over. Someone who always sweats for something not worthy is not proper to be a supervisor（难理解的句子）. Moreover, a smart supervisor always have a plan for the next step to ensure all things go well. It is obviously that a person of foresight always obtain advantageous opportunity.

Above all, to be a good supervisor is not very easy, so much qualities are important to him/her.（结尾再强调一下你所列举的特点，再以不同的句型复述一下。） Maybe that is why a good supervisor is someone we only find by chance（和主题没有关系，完全没有必要写）.



文章中存在一些问题，主题句不明显，这点我也曾经被别人批评过。对于我们而言，写成八股文还是比较保险的。每段段首都缺少一个过渡词，比如first, second等等，当然你也可以不用这么俗的，但是不能缺少啊。2－4段的论述都有问题，尽管能看清楚你要表达的每段的中心意思，可是似乎其他的句子不是为它服务的，写的不太到位。而且发现你每段一开始就转折一下，说一下否定的方面，这是不可以的。正面的观点还没说怎么就否定了呢。2，3段都是这个问题，4段就先说正面的论证了，好好比较一下。单词的拼写错误我没有改，粘贴到word里面看看吧。
上面说的完全是我的个人意见，一定会有不正确的地方，如果有问题的话尽快在群里面联系我。大家共同进步！


[ 本帖最后由 PapillonFox 于 2007-7-9 18:54 编辑 ]