生如夏花No.8 by lilac

lilackyUID: 2301568

What do you want most in a friend — someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.

To be friends, we need to trust and be trusted. So, in my view, the prerequisite of a friendship is reliableness which is most important to me.

I really feel carefree with my friends because they are reliable. Whenever we feel happy or sad, we tell each other without hesitating. Someone who is intelligent may help me to find out some ideas. But I don’t want to turn to untrusty people although they are intelligent. It is possible that they give me an idea not been thought over which may be not useful. While a reliable always right here support me even if we cannot come up with a smart idea at once. I like to talk to people who have a sense of humor, they always make everyone happy. But sometimes when I want some help, they just tell me they can do nothing. That really makes me upset. However, reliable friends give me a hand when I get into trouble. That can make me happy even if they are not very humorous.

In my view, people must have some other virtue if they are reliable such as a sense of responsibility and sincerity. They give your opinions consideration. When you need to talk, they listen to your secrets and keep them secrets. Since intelligence can grow along with knowledge and humor can be spread easily, a reliable person may be intelligence and has a sense of humor. It is more difficult to change an unreliable person to a reliable one. Therefore, I choose reliable friends.

Above all, I need reliable friends, because they let me feel ease and happy. And I think most of people don’t want to live with such untruthful people.

口语:

描述一个你愿意说话的人，说什么，为什么。

I have a good friend who is really a nice person. I’m not very good at finding something to say but he always finds some interesting topics and let me talk. We liked to take a walk after dinner in the riverside park. We talked about everything we saw in the park such as pets, sculptures, and roller skaters. He told me something about his cats and I told him the dog I liked. We also talked about movies, since we all like watching movie. It was common that he found some similar conditions which happened in movie. Then we reviewed that movie together and I sang episode of movie to him. I really like to talk with him.

[ 本帖最后由 lilacky 于 2007-7-18 20:23 编辑 ]

森林116UID: 2272614

To be friends, we need to trust and (to) be trusted. So, in my view, the prerequisite of a friendship is to reliableness (没有这个词,貌似应该是reliability) which is most important to me.

I really feel carefree with my friends because they are reliable. Whenever we feel happy or sad, we tell each other without hesitating. Someone who is intelligent may help me to find out some ideas. But I don’t want to turn to untrusty people although they are intelligent. (恩,非常有说服力的对比) It is possible that they give me an idea not been thought over which may be not useful. While a reliable always right here support me even if we cannot come up with a smart idea at once. I like to talk to people who have a sense of humor, they always make everyone happy. But sometimes when I want some help, they just tell me they can do nothing. That really makes me upset. However, reliable friends give me a hand when I get into trouble. That can make me happy even if they are not very humorous (加or intelligent,显得紧凑).(可以看的出你的内容,但稍微嫌结构松散了点,你拿humor和intelligent的朋友和reliable的朋友对比,个人认为可以放在一起对比中,形成排比;或者分开说的话,能保持句式对应,显得你的结构清晰)

In my view, people must have some other virtue if they are reliable such as a sense of responsibility and sincerity(前面最好加个转折词如what's more, furthermoer等等,显得语气明确些). They give your opinions consideration(两个名词??). When you need to talk, they listen to your secrets and keep them secrets. Since intelligence can grow along with knowledge and humor can be spread easily, a reliable person may be intelligence and has a sense of humor. It is more difficult to change an unreliable person to a reliable one. Therefore, I choose reliable friends. (前面说了humor和intelligent这里最好换个别的吧,,,,而且.你是把这段当作转折段的话,重点是some other virtue ,,,怎么后来有说到可靠性了呢???最好在一端里面表达一个思想,个人意见)

Above all, I need reliable friends, because they let me feel ease and happy. And I think most of people don’t want to live with such untruthful people. (结尾很好,简练.总的来说倒数第二段需要修改下, 第二段的内容和意思都很好,但需要更有力的组织,和fox意见一样,我觉得我们还是写八股比较保险,毕竟我们不能自以为可以熟练的操纵英语_像汉语一样~~~个人意见,仅供参考.)

口语:

描述一个你愿意说话的人，说什么，为什么。

I have a good friend who is really a nice person. I’m not very good at finding something to say but he always finds some interesting topics (不解..???) and let me talk. We liked to take a walk after dinner in the riverside park. We talked about everything we saw in the park such as pets, sculptures, and roller skaters. He told me something about his cats and I told him the dog I liked. We also talked about movies, since we all like watching movie. It was common that he found some similar conditions which happened in movie. Then we reviewed that movie together and I sang episode of movie to him. I really like to talk with him

恩,不错,很全面.....

lilackyUID: 2301568

你的意思是如果和fox一样 就是加入first, second,之类的过渡词吗
我也照aw模式写过 不过怎么总感觉不太对劲。。。。。所以贴上来的时候还是删了

森林116UID: 2272614

排比,,,只要有那么点痕迹就好了
比如:Someone who is intelligent may help me to find out some ideas, but I don’t want to turn to untrusty people although they are intelligent.然后说,Someone who is humour always make everyone happy, but I don’t want to turn to ehrm, for they just tell me they can do nothing

范文里面排比很多的
AW模式不是first, second,而是内在结构和分析,这个,你看些范文可以体会下