Argument238 【07-10G Superstar大帖】7.28 by Huaxinluobo

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

Time 30  word 482

In this argument the memo suggest that Mir Vista College (MVC) should offer more courses on business and computer and hire more counselors to help students find better jobs. To get support the memo cites the successful experiences of nearby Green Mountain College (GMC). However, after scrutiny, I find the argument unconvincing due to a few flaws.

Firstly, the fact that the employment of students from GMC is better than MVC is highly suspect for the memo does not provide sufficient evidence to prove it. Since the memo can not prove that students from MVC who report to the placement offices are representative of all the graduates, any conclusion that rest on this is not reliable. Even if the statistic from MVC can reflect the condition of students of MVC, it still can not justify that condition of GMC is better. It is entirely possible that more than 70 percent of students from GMC use more than three months to find jobs, or more than half of graduates from GMC are not employment in fields they major in. Moreover, the memo does not mention that the jobs students from MVC get are not prospective. After all, the memo fails to convince me that placement of students from GMC are better than MVC.

Secondly, even if the fist assumption is really the case, the memo unfairly concludes that only the fact that GMC has more business courses and counselors is responsible for the condition. Since there are many other possible reasons that can explain this difference in employment, for that matter, maybe the quality of students from GMC are higher, maybe some other courses in GMC are more attractive to employers, or maybe just the GMC are more famous, if any of the scenarios is real, then, whether the suggestion that the MVC offer more business courses and hire more counselors is effective seems highly doubtable.

Finally, the writer gets to the conclusion too hastily. Even if the course in business and less counselors are the chief reasons from the difference, by providing the suggestion the writer ignore other possible methods. For example, maybe MVC can promoter the teaching sill of stuffs and the quality of counselors. Besides, no evidence has been shown to prove that more computer skill and sills in resumes and interviewing are needed. Then, even more course and counselors are demanded, they may not been necessarily made to promote sills of computer, resumes or interviewing rather than other aspects.

To sum up, the memo fails to convince me that the measures the writer suggested are needed and effective. To better support it , the writer needs to provide more evidence to prove that conditions of employment in GMC are better and due to more courses in business and more counselors as well as that the students need more sills of computer , resumes and interviewing.

desirermimiUID: 2108321

In this argument the memo suggest that Mir Vista College (MVC) should offer more courses on business and computer and hire more counselors to help students find better jobs. To get support the memo cites the successful experiences of nearby Green Mountain College (GMC). However, after scrutiny, I find the argument unconvincing due to a few flaws.

Firstly, the fact that the employment of students from GMC is better than MVC is highly suspect for the memo does not provide sufficient evidence to prove it. Since the memo can not prove that students from MVC who report to the placement offices are representative of all the graduates, any conclusion that rest on this is not reliable. Even if the statistic from MVC can reflect the condition of students of MVC, it still can not justify that condition of GMC is better. It is entirely possible that more than 70 percent of students from GMC use more than three months to find jobs, or more than half of graduates from GMC are not employment in fields they major in. Moreover, the memo does not mention that the jobs students from MVC get are not prospective. After all, the memo fails to convince me that placement of students from GMC are better than MVC.

Secondly, even if the fist[first] assumption is really the case, the memo unfairly concludes that only the fact that GMC has more business courses and counselors is responsible for the condition. Since there are many other possible reasons that can explain this difference in employment, for that matter, maybe the quality of students from GMC are higher, maybe some other courses in GMC are more attractive to employers, or maybe just the GMC are more famous, if any of the scenarios is real, then, whether the suggestion that the MVC offer more business courses and hire more counselors is effective seems highly doubtable.

Finally, the writer gets to the conclusion too hastily. Even if the course in business and less counselors are the chief reasons from the difference, by providing the suggestion the writer ignore other possible methods. For example, maybe MVC can promoter[promote] the teaching sill of stuffs and the quality of counselors. Besides, no evidence has been shown to prove that more computer skill and sills in resumes and interviewing are needed. Then, even more course and counselors are demanded, they may not been necessarily made to promote sills of computer, resumes or interviewing rather than other aspects. [这最后一个错误我找的与你不太一样，我说的是false analogy,两学校有不同，比如GMC擅长商科，MVC擅长文科，盲目地增设商科和电脑课程，可能会由于师资不足而导致MVC的教学质量下降；比如GMC的学生更擅长于做自己的简历和交谈，这些有利于帮助他们找到更好的工作；比如两所学校坐落的地区不一样，GMC是工作机会很多的大城市，而MVC在乡村。这些不同因素都可能会影响学生找工作的情况，不能单说增设课程就可以解决的]

To sum up, the memo fails to convince me that the measures the writer suggested are needed and effective. To better support it , the writer needs to provide more evidence to prove that conditions of employment in GMC are better and due to more courses in business and more counselors as well as that the students need more sills of computer , resumes and interviewing.

[小结：很棒！还是在限定时间内写出来的！逻辑分析，用语用句都很棒！
继续加油！]