argument167 0710G同主题写作第三期 [0710G 突击先锋]

yylllUID：2196640

TOPIC: ARGUMENT167 - A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

*A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.
WORDS: 460          TIME: 超时^_^          DATE: 2007-08-03 10:47:36

The arguer claims that lavender cures insomnia over a short period of time according to a chronic insomnia study. However, the argument has some flaws to support the arguer's the conclusion.

To begin with, it is presumptuous to judge lavender will have effect on chronic insomnia according to a three weeks' study. The arguer fails to take into account some possibilities, which would cause the inaccuracy of the study. Chronic insomnia often varies with the season. It is entirely possible that the patients, who be tested in the study, would feel happy because they have a long journey to the shore before the study. Thus, they will feel satisfied in mental and the symptom will be relieved. Or perhaps the time of test is just on the change of season so that symptoms of insomnia will vary a lot. Therefore, the only time the arguer can claim that lavender cures insomnia is when the study will be conducted by a long time, such as several yeas.

In the second place, it is ridiculous to judge the results for the reason that patients are told the study with its aim and some other information. The effects of cure are judged by patients' oral narration, which would be inaccurate owing to patients' subjective consciousness. It is completely probable that patients, who know the aim and methods of the study, will have mental hints that will, to some extent, have positive effect to symptoms. Also, it is entirely possible that patients in the test do not tell true symptoms of insomnia to the doctors in order to perform better to show that they have no healthy problem. The only time the arguer can claim the study result related to patients is accurate is when the study for the patients is conducted by particular methods to guarantee the objective of results, such as the patients do not be told the aim and methods of the study.

Finally, during the study, patients are given the usual sleeping medicine, which would lead to the unfaithful results. The study, which is conducted by doctor to judge the effectiveness of some medicine, should not use any other medicine that will deviate the results; or if taken other medicine, the patients should be monitored after a long period to remove the effect of that medicine. For this study, the result is unconvincing for the reason that the relief of insomnia symptoms may be the results of usual sleeping medicine. Without ruling other medicine’s influence, the arguer cannot justifiably rely on the study to draw any firm conclusion.

To sum up, the arguer fails to persuade us to believe lavender will cure insomnia. To bolster up his conclusion, the arguer should provide a more reliable study using more scientific methods.

xmubitUID：2362643

The arguer claims that lavender cures insomnia over a short period of time according to a chronic insomnia study[这个描述太笼统了]. However, the argument has some flaws to support the arguer's the conclusion.

To begin with, it is presumptuous to judge lavender[the scent in lavender flowers] will have effect on chronic insomnia according to a three weeks' study. The arguer fails to take into account some possibilities, which would cause the inaccuracy of the study. Chronic insomnia often varies with the season. It is entirely possible that the patients, who be tested in the study, would feel happy because they have a long journey to the shore before the study. Thus, they will feel satisfied in mental and the symptom will be relieved[这无法解释三周的变化 否则第一周应该效果很好才对]. Or perhaps the time of test is just on the change of season so that symptoms of insomnia will vary a lot[比较牵强]. Therefore, the only time the arguer can claim that lavender cures insomnia is when the study will be conducted by a long time, such as several yeas[Therefore, only a long time’s study, several years for example, can be reliable to assure the accuracy of conclusion].

In the second place, it is ridiculous[太绝对了] to judge the results for the reason that patients are told the study with its aim and some other information[题目并没说志愿者被告知这些细节]. The effects of cure are judged by patients' oral narration, which would be inaccurate owing to patients' subjective consciousness. It is completely probable that patients, who know the aim and methods of the study, will have mental hints that will, to some extent, have positive effect to symptoms. Also, it is entirely possible that patients in the test do not tell true symptoms of insomnia to the doctors in order to perform better to show that they have no healthy problem. The only time the arguer can claim the study result related to patients is accurate is when[the only time…is when…没这种用法吧] the study for the patients is conducted by particular methods to guarantee the objective of results, such as the patients do not be told the aim and methods of the study.

Finally, during the study, patients are given the usual sleeping medicine, which would lead to the unfaithful results. The study, which is conducted by doctor to judge the effectiveness of some medicine, should not use any other medicine that will[从句主语错误] deviate the results; or if taken other medicine, the patients should be monitored after a long period to remove the effect of that medicine. For this study, the result is unconvincing for the reason that the relief of insomnia symptoms may be the results of usual sleeping medicine. Without ruling other medicine’s influence, the arguer cannot justifiably rely on the study to draw any firm conclusion.

To sum up, the arguer fails to persuade us to believe lavender will cure insomnia. To bolster up his conclusion, the arguer should provide[us with] a more reliable study using more scientific methods.
[总体表述还行 继续加油！！]