issue41 [0710G +U Aug小组]第10次作业

cofeebeanUID: 2289548

In modern society which is based on the marvelous advance of mainstream science, many non-m   ainstream areas, including astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits, still remains attractive in the eyes of some people. Why mainstream science cannot take the place of these non-mainstream pursuits and exclude them totally out of our vision? The reason may be that in some sense these pursuits can address some certain human needs while mainstream science cannot. However, weather these pursuits play a vital role in society depends on further analysis of their effects.

Whoever he is and whatever he owns, everyone is accompanied all along in his life with two kinds of fear— one is the fear to the future, the other is to death.  To some extent, certain non-mainstream areas of inquiry can meet human demands to get out of fear while mainstream science cannot provide adaptibale and effective instructions in a short time. We don’t know what will happen in the future and whether we can survive. Miserable sizedowning and traffic accidents are presenting in newspaper everyday and thus we have this impression in our mind that maybe someday we’ll have to face the same fate. This idea not only upset us, but also exert an influence on our actions nowadays—it is hard to make a decision on whether we buy an expensive apartment which can provide comfort and convenience or a little one far away to save money for the possible unemployment. These worries about future and uncertain feelings drive many people to believe in astrology and fortune-telling, since it is claimed that they can show some signs and enlightenments of what will happen based on which people can make some ‘reasonable’ choice.  

From ancient ages to modern society, human lives remain fragile when facing strong powers outside. Even if with the protection of advanced medical curing technology, the life can be easily deprived in a little accident or disease, not mention to natural catastrophes. The fear to death gives birth to psychic and paranormal pursuits. These pursuits relieve the upsetting feelings of people by suggesting that there is another world after death in which spirits exist. Although we will lose everything we own in material, from fortune, fame to authority, we still can keep our spiritual property such as thoughts and feelings. The most important thing is that we can have opportunities to meet who we love there. This is very attractive to most people for their pains of losing relatives can be compensated since death only leaves them apart for a short time but eventually bring them together. With these into consideration, people can feel better to face death of others as well as themselves.

Although these pursuits are important to some people in preventing the negative feelings like fear and worries and relieving pains of losing, they are not always effective and helpful for everyone and every society since there are some crucial problems undermining the credibility of these pursuits. The first is they are totally based on assumptions which are groundless and vague. For example, what you get from fortune-telling is always some words with kinds of meaning which can be adaptable to different situation.
The relation between fortune-telling and your future depends on your understanding and teller’s explanation, not on the facts. The second problem is the reliability on these pursuits makes people more dependent and fragile since they will gradually give up the painful but necessary thoughts on their own. When facing fear and difficulties, what we think in first is to get help from outside, but the first thing we should do is looking for the powerful strength of ourselves.

While these non-mainstream pursuits listed in the topic might play a ‘vital’ role insofar as relieving the fear to future and death of people, their credibility is open to doubt, without strong evidence and real experience to support. Furthermore, it is reasonable for both society and individual to realize the infinities of these pursuits such as weakening independent strength to solve problems and exceed fear.

wm23UID: 2245087

In modern society which is based on the marvelous advance of mainstream science, many non-m   ainstream（non-mainstream） areas, including astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits, still remains attractive in the eyes of some people. Why mainstream science cannot take the place of these non-mainstream pursuits and exclude them totally out of our vision? The reason may be that in some sense these pursuits can address some certain human needs while mainstream science cannot. However, weather these pursuits play a vital role in society depends on further analysis of their effects.

Whoever he is and whatever he owns, everyone is accompanied all along in his life with two kinds of fear— one is the fear to the future,(这里直接说future范围有点大,我们惧怕的是未来的不确定的变化.而且你本段后面也都写的是一些变化.) the other is to death.  To some extent, certain non-mainstream areas of inquiry can meet human demands to get out of fear while mainstream science cannot provide adaptibale and effective instructions in a short time. We don’t know what will happen in the future and whether we can survive. Miserable sizedowning and traffic accidents are presenting in newspaper everyday and thus we have this impression in our mind that maybe someday we’ll have to face the same fate. This idea not only upset us, but also exert an influence on our actions nowadays—it is hard to make a decision on whether we buy an expensive apartment which can provide comfort and convenience or a little one far away to save money for the possible unemployment. These worries about future and uncertain feelings drive many people to believe in astrology and fortune-telling, since it is claimed that they can show some signs and enlightenments of what will happen based on which people can make some ‘reasonable’ choice.  

From ancient ages to modern society, human lives remain fragile when facing strong powers outside. Even if with the protection of advanced medical curing technology, the life can be easily deprived in a little accident or disease, not mention to natural catastrophes. The fear to death gives birth to psychic and paranormal pursuits. These pursuits relieve the upsetting feelings of people by suggesting that there is another world after death in which spirits exist. Although we will lose everything we own in material, from fortune, fame to authority, we still can keep our spiritual property such as thoughts and feelings. The most important thing is that we can have opportunities to meet who we love there. This is very attractive to most people for their pains of losing relatives can be compensated since death only leaves them apart for a short time but eventually bring them together. With these into consideration, people can feel better to face death of others as well as themselves.(这段主要说non-mainstream可以宽慰我们,使我们坦然面对人生,我觉得在开头把本段的主题点明好一点.)

Although these pursuits are important to some people in preventing the negative feelings like fear and worries and relieving pains of losing, they are not always effective and helpful for everyone and every society since there are some crucial problems undermining the credibility of these pursuits. The first is they are totally based on assumptions which are groundless and vague. For example, what you get from fortune-telling is always some words with kinds of meaning which can be adaptable to different situation.
The relation between fortune-telling and your future depends on your understanding and teller’s explanation, not on the facts. The second problem is the reliability on these pursuits makes people more dependent and fragile since they will gradually give up the painful but necessary thoughts on their own. When facing fear and difficulties, what we think in first is to get help from outside, but the first thing we should do is looking for the powerful strength of ourselves.

While these non-mainstream pursuits listed in the topic might play a ‘vital’ role insofar as relieving the fear to future and death of people, their credibility is open to doubt, without strong evidence and real experience to support. Furthermore, it is reasonable for both society and individual to realize the infinities(这个词在这里是什么意思?) of these pursuits such as weakening independent strength to solve problems and exceed fear.

总评:我个人觉得各个部分都写的很好.但有一点是前面两段是在说nonmainstream可以帮助人们减少对生活中的不幸,甚至死亡的恐惧,而后两段又认为nonmainstream有很多不足.如果是平衡立场的话也可以,可是感觉你还是有倾向性的(如开头段最后一句However, weather these pursuits play a vital role in society depends on further analysis of their effects.), 如果是有倾向的立场的话,感觉结构过于平衡,像前面的两段的优点可以简略做个让步即可,着重加强后两段对其不足的分析,这样更有利于突出你的立场.
我个人这样认为,完了可以讨论下.