issue70 [0710G +U Aug小组]第17次作业

571633UID: 2333480

题目：ISSUE70 - "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."

According to the speaker's connotation, in order to be successful the surest path for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership because in any profession such as business, politics those leaders in power should step down after five years. Nevertheless, further reflection tells me that the writer ignores many practical problems.

First of all, in some realms such as in the government the leaders should retire after the assignment in order to prevent corruption and to pursue democracy. For example, George Washington, the commander of American Revolution and the first president of United States, refused to run for the third term for the behalf of the country and future presidents, after his establishment of a new federal government to eliminate conflicts between two parties in American. By this decision and devoted services, he gained deference of the whole country and became a symbol of American Virtue after his death. Therefore it is paramount for the leaders to step down after several years so as to be revitalization through new leadership.

However, it is not always the truth in the realm of business. A lot of founders of the economic behemoth enterprise prefer to be in power for many years rather than only five years while sometime they like to hand down their power to their descendant. For example, Wal-Mart's continual sales increasing rates and scale expansion are due to its management strategies. The previous CEO Sam Walton created the employee ownership during his second term, which enables every employee to purchase the company shares and help advance the company's emphasis on controlling costs and providing excellent customer service. Without the productive strategy, the company might have been squeezed out of the supermarket realm. So in business there is no rule that a person in power should step down after five years.

What's more, even in the politic there are exceptions that leaders can resume his leadership in the critical time. For instance, Roosevelt is a charismatic president fraught with optimism, whose confidence is essential to sustain the United States and its people during the strains of economic crisis and world war. When Roosevelt came to the presidency with a dangerous economic crisis at its height, industry was paralyzed, and unemployment afflicted some 30 percent of the work force. Although the nation had been sunk in the worst depression of its history for many years, it is the Roosevelt's New Deal makes the country gradually overcome the crisis. In his third and forth term, he lead the American people to conquer the difficulty in the Second World War. Consequently, electing a new leader to lead the citizen to face the hardship is not the only way to be revitalization because the old leaders can also do the same job very well.

Simply put, it is not always true that the leaders in power should step down after five years. Any decision aimed at solving the problem of the leadership should need more information in order to gather sufficient data because in some realm such as business there are always exceptions.

xiefen0223UID: 2301911

你前一篇关闭了，所以我就在这里给你批改吧。。
：）

题目：ARGUMENT38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

Citing people who eat fish frequently can hardly get cold in East Meria, the memo recommends that in order to prevent colds and lower absenteeism the people in West Meria should eat lchthaid because lchthaid is a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil. However, further reflection tells me that the arguer ignores many practical problems.

First of all, the writer of the memo said that eating substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. In order to bolster the assumption, he cites that in nearby East Meria people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds because they eat fish. Nevertheless, the survey can hardly support the conclusion for the memo fails to rule out other reasons. For example, the citizen living in the West Meria often do some fitness, or they treat themselves if they get cough.（虽然你谈了别的可能，可是这种可能没有谈深入，谈清楚。do some exercise to keep colds away, or treat themselves immediately after getting cough,recover from cough by taking medicine without visiting the doctor.） So we can never get the conclusion that the people can hardly get cold is because they often eat fish.

Quite apart from the logistic problem, granted that often eating fish can present getting cold, we can hardly say that the daily use of lchthaid can prevent cold even if it is a nutritional supplement of the fish. Because it is highly possible that other things of the fish can prevent cold rather than the lchthaid. So I can hardly ascribe the perversity on my part but to the inconsequence of the problem of the actual cause of getting cold which is deficient in common sense that I can not reconcile myself to the lesson.

What's more, if we can prevent colds well, we are not sure we can lower absenteeism. For example, in the schools the pupils are willing to go out for fun while the workers want to buy some necessities of lives, that all are the reason of absenteem. (这里和下一句没什么逻辑过度)So we should not recommend the daily use of lchthaid. Besides of that, any decision aimed at solving the problem of whether to use lechthaid should be based on more information through and comprehensive survey to gather sufficient data so as to identify the actual causes of the problem.

Simply put, the letter's recommendation is not well supported because it relies on certain a series of doubtful assumptions that render it untenable as it stands. Before I can accept it, the writer must supply clearer evidence - perhaps by the way of a local survey or study - that the investigation will support the conclusion that the people in West Meria should use lchthaid daily. To better evaluate the argument we would need more information about the function of lchthaid rather than simply telling us that the people should use lchthaid.

你其实已经写得很顺手了，考试应该没多大问题了。：） ～～

xiefen0223UID: 2301911

题目：ISSUE70 - "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."

According to the speaker's connotation, in order to be successful the surest path for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership because in any profession such as business, politics those leaders in power should step down after five years. Nevertheless, further reflection tells me that the writer ignores many practical problems.

First of all,（Admittedly） in some realms such as in the government the leaders should retire after the assignment in order to prevent corruption and to pursue democracy. For example, George Washington, the commander of American Revolution and the first president of United States, refused to run for the third term for the behalf of the country and future presidents, after his establishment of a new federal government to eliminate conflicts between two parties in American. By this decision and devoted services, he gained deference of the whole country and became a symbol of American Virtue after his death. Therefore it is paramount for the leaders to step down after several years so as to be revitalization through new leadership.

However, it is not always the truth in the realm of business. A lot of founders of the economic behemoth enterprise prefer to be in power for many years rather than only five years while sometime they like to hand down their power to their descendant. For example, Wal-Mart's continual sales increasing rates and scale expansion are due to its management strategies. The previous CEO Sam Walton created the employee ownership during his second term, which enables every employee to purchase the company shares and help advance the company's emphasis on controlling costs and providing excellent customer service. Without the productive strategy, the company might have been squeezed out of the supermarket realm. So in business there is no rule that a person in power should step down after five years.(这里的例子并不是很贴切。)

What's more, even in the politic there are exceptions that leaders can resume his leadership in the critical time. For instance, Roosevelt is a charismatic president fraught with optimism, whose confidence is essential to sustain the United States and its people during the strains of economic crisis and world war. When Roosevelt came to the presidency with a dangerous economic crisis at its height, industry was paralyzed, and unemployment afflicted some 30 percent of the work force. Although the nation had been sunk in the worst depression of its history for many years, it is the Roosevelt's New Deal makes the country gradually overcome the crisis. In his third and forth term, he lead the American people to conquer the difficulty in the Second World War. Consequently, electing a new leader to lead the citizen to face the hardship is not the only way to be revitalization because the old leaders can also do the same job very well.

Simply put, it is not always true that the leaders in power should step down after five years. Any decision aimed at solving the problem of the leadership should need more information in order to gather sufficient data because in some realm such as business there are always exceptions.

文章句式没什么问题，只是在和例子联系起来的时候需要讲清楚。建议先列个提纲什么的理清思路，不是是整篇的，还有单个段里也要想清楚自己到底要讲什么。然后再发展段落，这样逻辑会强一些。