十月金秋第7次作业-----liyuxin217

liyuxin217UID：2348915

写作：
At present, many schools and universities take attention in developing sports and social
activities for making them as important as classes and libraries. In my opinion, this act is
great correct because taking part in sports and social activities will keep us optimism,
and be good for our study and work in the future.
First of all, an array of appropriate sports and social activities will keep us from tired
when we study some hours. Again, they will also make us be an optimist. When we untired and
in a good mood, we will have a high effeciency to study.
Secondly, most of sports is better for our health. So we will have more physical force and
energy to study hard after several hours sports. For examples, my favourite exercise is
playing basketball, and I will do that about two hours for one day. Before playing it, I
will compel me to put all energy on my study and after playing it , I will have a good mood
and have a high effeciency. So in my opinion, doing sports are as important as attending
classes and doing exercises.
Finally, there is a great help for our future job if we join some social activities. The
simplest reason is that we will have more experience than those work in the same time.
Maybe someone says that do more classes and libraries will be good for our base. I think the
basic is important, yet the superstructure will also paly a important role in my life.
口语：
In many books which i had read carefully, the holy bible plays the most important role in my life. First of all, the story in it give me a great apocalypse. Secondly, the language in it  is better for me to study english because it is mother of english. Finally, it tells me how  to do a real man and the approach to do everything. So it is my favourite book.

bakakatsingUID：2383167

At present, many schools and universities attach great emphasis on developing sports and social
activities for making them as important as classes and libraries. In my opinion, this act is
great correct because taking part in sports and social activities will keep us optimism,
and be good for our study and work in the future.

First of all, an array of appropriate sports and social activities will keep us become relaxing
when we study for a myraid of hours. On the other hand, they make us be an optimist. When we are relaxing and
in a good humor, we always have a higher effeciency to study.

Secondly, most of the sports is good for our health. Therefore, we will have more physical force and
energy to study hard after several hours sports. For example, I play my favourite exercise, basketball, for about two hours per day.
Before playing it, I will compel myself to put all energy on my studes. After playing it , I will have a good mood
and a higher effeciency. From my point of view, doing sports is(主語系doing sports) as important as attending
classes and doing exercises.

Finally, it is helpful to our future job if we join more social activities. The
simplest reason is that we will have more experience than those work in the same time.
Despite somebody may say that doing more classes and libraries will be good for our base, I think that the
basic is important, yet the superstructure will also paly a important role in our life.

嗚嗚.. 本來改好了.. 不少心全篇刪了!
我主要是改了不通順的地方.

bakakatsingUID：2383167

其實那篇當參考就算啦.
我只是玩玩.
找個高手來改文吧:funk:

搓雀败蝶UID：2369966

At present, many schools and universities take attention in developing sports and social
activities for making them as important as classes and libraries. In my opinion, this act is
great correct because taking part in sports and social activities will keep us optimism,
and be good for our study and work in the future.

First of all, an array of appropriate sports and social activities will keep us from (keep from是阻止,学了some hours肯定已经tired了,用release可能会准确些)tired when we study some hours. Again, they will also make us be an optimist. (为什么使你optimism呢?这是你主题段中的一个论点,应该要略详细的说明一下.)When we untired(换个词) and in a good mood, we will have a high effeciency to study.

Secondly, most of sports is better for our health. So(书面语中so不可以放在句首) we will have more physical force and energy to study hard after several hours sports(按照常理来讲,after several hours sports,我们应该已经exhausted了,好像不应该会有more energy). For examples, my favourite exercise is playing basketball, and I will do that about two hours for one day. Before playing it, I will compel me to put all energy on my study and after playing it , I will have a good mood and have a high effeciency. So in my opinion, doing sports are as important as attending classes and doing exercises.

Finally, there is a great help for our future job if we join some social activities. The
simplest reason is that we will have more experience than those work in the same time.
Maybe someone says that do more classes and libraries will be good for our base(不地道的base,或者说没有说清楚.不能根据单纯的词意自己构思表达). I think the basic is important, yet the superstructure will also paly a important role in my life.(乍一看,工作中的经验和上层建筑有什么关系呢?应该说清楚你的比喻.)

   这道作文题是一个观点的问题,而不是personal preference,所以语气尽量要客观,而且比较忌讳用自己的例子(太主观了).作者应尽量丰富词汇和句式,注意结构的完整和连贯性.在写作前,可以先想几个好的例子.