Issue243 [Aero作文小组]，恳请拍砖~

zhyangelUID: 2434683

第一次发帖格式错误了，导致组友没法拍文，这次是重新发帖，不知道这样符不符合版归，请斑竹不要删，要删就删我那篇格式错误的，好吗？ @_@
偶先感谢拍砖的xdjm啦~:loveliness:
如下：

243. "The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments."


Since coming into being in humanity and society, civilization has not been a simplex one, but a synthesis, which contains various aspects of the society, consisting of spirit, art, moral, technology and life and etc. So the value of civilization is an integration of all its sides rather than any unitary one. In order to make an overall evaluation of the real value of civilization, we would have to find out every valuable side.

First of all, artistic creations play a very significant role in reflecting the value of a civilization. With the development of humanity and society, sorts of creations of artists continue to bring us splendid buildings, beautiful paintings, emotional films and dainty rhymes. They encourage us to lead more meaningful lives; we cannot imagine what our lives would be like without artistic creations. How could we feel   if we live in a world without classical architecture and original picture to appreciate,   mellifluous songs to listen to and sing, affecting movies to see? It must be so dreary and monochromic that people in the society will never have chance to realize the real meaning of being beautiful, colorful and dulcet.

Nevertheless, the importance of scientific accomplishments is never less than the artistic creations. Scientific accomplishments have great improved our material conditions of life that each one of us can feel in our daily life. For instance, the invention of electric lamp leads us into a world full of light either in the underground caverns or the dark, various vehicles provide lots of ways such as cars, trains, and planes each of which help us to travel around much faster and easiest, and penicillin protect far from the menace of death brought by pneumonia, meningitis, and inflammation. There are numerous examples of scientific accomplishments around us that influence people’s life in the modern world. Without science, we are just like an dolphin without fins; we have aspirations and ambitions, but cannot realize them.

Finally, but most important, both arts and science contribute so much in the development of civilization. Moreover, we can’t forget that civilization is a complex entity with multiplex sides, including else morality, spirit and so on. Thus, we cannot put any aside at the expense of the other one. On one hand, without art, lots of inventions would reduce it value, some of which even be of no use, the spirit of human would be lack of prolific ideology; on the other hand, without science, art would not have such an immense influence like today spreading by electric medium like television, internet, radio and so forth, we ordinary people have no chance to appreciate multifarious art works, our spiritual field be short of entertainment and exiting from scientific accomplishment. Therefore, we must realize that the civilization will develop much better and healthier while art and science and allover its elements make progress in their own way.

wizardzUID: 2268761

我一眼看过来都不敢拍你文章了~~词汇非常丰富啊
稍微提了些意见//

243. "The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments."


Since coming into being in humanity and society 可能讲society就够了, civilization has not been a simplex one, but a synthesis, which contains various aspects of the society, consisting of spirit, art, moral, technology and life and etc. So the value of civilization is an integration of all its sides rather than any unitary one. In order to make an overall evaluation of the real value of civilization, we would have to find out every valuable side.

First of all, artistic creations play a very significant role in reflecting the value of a civilization. With the development of humanity and society, sorts of creations of artists continue to bring us splendid buildings, beautiful paintings, emotional films and dainty rhymes. They encourage us to lead more meaningful lives; we cannot imagine what our lives would be like without artistic creations. How could we feel   if we live in a world without classical architecture and original picture to appreciate,   mellifluous songs to listen to and sing, affecting movies to see? It must be so dreary and monochromic that people in the society will never have chance to realize the real meaning of being beautiful, colorful and dulcet.
//文采飞扬，讲了很多对human的value，不过我觉得还是要提一下civilization的value是什么，两个value有交集，但也不总一致

Nevertheless, the importance of scientific accomplishments is never less than that of artistic creations. Scientific accomplishments have great greatly improved our material conditions of life that each one of us can feel in our daily life. For instance, the invention of electric lamp leads us into a world full of light either in the underground caverns or the dark, various vehicles provide lots of ways of transportation? such as cars, trains, and planes, each of which help us to travel around much faster and easiest easier, and penicillin protect far from the menace of death brought by pneumonia, meningitis, and inflammation. There are numerous examples of scientific accomplishments around us that influence people’s life lives in the modern world. Without science, we are just like an dolphin without fins; we have aspirations and ambitions, but cannot realize them.

Finally, but most importantly, both arts art and science contribute so much in the development of civilization. Moreover, we can’t forget that civilization is a complex entity with multiplex sides, including else morality, spirit and so on. Thus, we cannot put any aside at the expense of the other one. On one hand, without art, lots of inventions would reduce it its value, some of which even would be of no use, the spirit of human would be lack of prolific ideology; on the other hand, without science, art would not have such an immense influence like today --spreading by electric medium like television, internet, radio and so forth--, we ordinary people have no chance to appreciate multifarious art works, our spiritual field be short of entertainment and exiting from scientific accomplishment. Therefore, we must realize that the civilization will develop much better and healthier while art and science and allover its elements make progress in their own way.

zhyangelUID: 2434683

谢谢wizardz，谢谢你中肯的建议，关于human的value和civilization的value的关系，老实说，我想不大明白~:(
至于“文采飞扬”，实不敢当，本文并非完全独立完成，而是参考了其他的文章和用词。以模仿为主。自己独立写作的能力实在是还没有成熟。当时写的时候就郁闷的要撞墙了似的~

ragingfireUID: 186932

243. "The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments."


Since coming into being in humanity and society , civilization has not been a simplex one, but a synthesis, which contains various aspects of the society, consisting of spirit, art, moral, technology and life and etc. So the value of civilization is an integration of all its sides rather than any unitary one. In order to make an overall evaluation of the real value of civilization, we would have to find out every valuable side.[文采真好！不过对civilization的定义过程中，提到了all sides。但是本文只是涉及科学和艺术，最好不要提太多，不然会觉得开头大身体小]

First of all, artistic creations play a very significant role in reflecting the value of a civilization. With the development of humanity and society, sorts of creations of artists continue to bring us splendid buildings, beautiful paintings, emotional films and dainty rhymes. They encourage us to lead more meaningful lives; we cannot imagine what our lives would be like without artistic creations. How could we feel   if we live in a world without classical architecture and original picture to appreciate,   mellifluous songs to listen to and sing, affecting movies to see? It must be so dreary and monochromic that people in the society will never have chance to realize the real meaning of being beautiful, colorful and dulcet.

Nevertheless, the importance of scientific accomplishments is never less than that of artistic creations. Scientific accomplishments have  greatly improved our material conditions of life that each one of us can feel in our daily life. For instance, the invention of electric lamp leads us into a world full of light either in the underground caverns or the dark, various vehicles provide lots of ways of transportation? such as cars, trains, and planes, each of which help us to travel around much faster and easiest easier, and penicillin protect far from the menace of death brought by pneumonia, meningitis, and inflammation. There are numerous examples of scientific accomplishments around us that influence people’s life lives in the modern world. Without science, we are just like an dolphin without fins; we have aspirations and ambitions, but cannot realize them.

Finally, but most importantly, both arts art and science contribute so much in the development of civilization. Moreover, we can’t forget that civilization is a complex entity with multiplex sides, including else morality, spirit and so on. Thus, we cannot put any aside at the expense of the other one. On one hand, without art, lots of inventions would reduce it its value, some of which even would be of no use, the spirit of human would be lack of prolific ideology; on the other hand, without science, art would not have such an immense influence like today --spreading by electric medium like television, internet, radio and so forth--, we ordinary people have no chance to appreciate multifarious art works, our spiritual field be short of entertainment and exiting from scientific accomplishment. Therefore, we must realize that the civilization will develop much better and healthier while art and science and allover its elements make progress in their own way.

[根据wizardz的修改版改的，语法错误都由他改了o(∩_∩)o...哈哈。语言真的比较华美啊]

zhyangelUID: 2434683

谢谢ragingfile，根据组友的意见，我自己又仔细考虑一下，发现了很多的问题。其中一个大的问题就是内容上论证和论据的不大对等问题，无奈现在没空回改呀~:(