impulse作文小组 生活类 周天作业

lemon1kgUID: 2309820

Do you agree with the following statement: nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment--things they like to do-- rather than the things they should do.


When it comes to the two main characters of one thing-enjoyment and necessity, different people gives different priority. Some people assert that one should spend more time on something they are fond of while i do not agree with that. Personally, i put the necessity on the most important place and my reasons are listed as follows.


First of all, the things we like are usually do more harm than good to ourselves, sometimes people around us. Take smoking as and typical example. Most man prefers smoking as their habit since they consider it is a good way to relax oneself and even some teen-boys believe smoking is a cool behaviour which can attract girls. However, everyone of all know about the terrible result brought from smoking through  variety kinds of channels. Smoking is the chief factor leading to lung cancers and heart attack. Besides, the second-hand smoker also get negative effect because of the bad habit.


On the other hand, something necessary but absence of enjoyment are probably benefit us. Most people have this experience when they were college students. At the end of semester, the teacher of subjects on science always ask students to hand up a paper about the major, which will cost millions of time and energy thus students are beginning to go crazy to figure out the specific topic, search the information, and combine the resource together. It is really a period of hardship, but when every paper has been finished, the students know more about the course,and that is what students receive the college education going for.


Of course what i mean giving the necessity priority does not refer to abandoning our enjoyment, but making it as our promoter of success. Einstein made a good example for us. Playing violin was a part of his everyday life.He once said violin was his best friend and sometime became the inspiration of his scientific researches. If all of us can take full advantages of our own habits like Einstein, there will be nothing negative. The most importance need to be remembered is what we choose to be the habit and how we use it.


To sum up, considering the aspects i discussed above, it is sagacious to conclude that we should focus firstly on necessity then pounder the thing we are favourite and if possible, make out the perfect match for them.

kturyUID: 2274868

Do you agree with the following statement: nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment--things they like to do-- rather than the things they should do.l$L5

When it comes to the two main characters of one thing-enjoyment and necessity, different people gives [give] different priority[这个词是这样用不好吧]. Some people assert that one should spend more time on something they are fond of while I do not agree with that. Personally, I put the necessity [compulsory things] on the most important place[请教一下什么意思?] and my reasons are listed as follows.

First of all, the things we like are [去掉] usually do more harm than good to ourselves, sometimes people around us [去掉]. Take smoking as an typical example. Most man prefers [men prefer] smoking as their habit since they consider [that] it is a good way to relax oneself and even some teen-boys believe smoking is a cool behavior which can attract girls. However, everyone of all know about the terrible result brought from smoking through variety kinds of channels. Smoking is the chief factor leading to lung cancers and heart attack. Besides, the second-hand smoker also get negative effect because of the bad habit.
On the other hand, something [that is] necessary but absence of enjoyment [absent enjoyment] are probably benefit us. Most people have this experience when they were college students. At the end of semester, the teacher of subjects on science always ask students to hand up a paper about the major, which will cost millions of time and energy thus students are beginning to go crazy to figure out the specific topic, search the information, and combine the resource together. It is really a period of hardship, but when every paper has been finished, the students know more about the course,and that is what students receive the college education going for.

Of course what i mean giving the necessity priority does not refer to abandoning our enjoyment, but making it as our promoter of success. Einstein made a good example for us. Playing violin was a part of his everyday life.He once said violin was his best friend and sometime became the inspiration of his scientific researches. If all of us can [take full advantages] of our own habits like Einstein, there will be nothing negative. The most importance need to be remembered is what we choose to be the habit [what we regard as the habit] and how we use it.

To sum up, considering the aspects i discussed above, it is sagacious to conclude that we should focus firstly on necessity then pounder the thing we are favourite and if possible, make out the perfect match for them.

本文的结构很好，错误多了一点。
单从文章上看还是不错，但是感觉有些跑题。题目问的是 是否同意人们愿意在喜欢的事情上花的时间较多。我认为文章的重点应是在论证 为什么人们会花较多的时间在喜欢的事情上。
而你的文章主要论证人们应该如何正确对待自己的习惯。

水平有限 仅供参考-ktury
加油 加油 进步很快哦!!!

lemon1kgUID: 2309820

恩，我自己也感觉，写着写着有点跑题了~~~还是比较喜欢那种二选一的题目。
这个put sth on the most important place, 是我自己编的的，就是说把必要性放在第一位，是不是没这种表达啊？呵呵。
因为经常自己根据感觉写，所以老是错误不断~

lemon1kgUID: 2309820

我想了想，如果写成1：社会娱乐活动增加，导致人们自控性降低。
                           2：盲目模仿别人的模式——成功建立在兴趣的基础上。
                           3：专注于享乐，忽视了必要工作的重要性。
这样还算不算跑题？

RosebudcnUID: 2495311

多发了一遍，下面那版是全的：）

[ 本帖最后由 Rosebudcn 于 2008-8-4 15:13 编辑 ]

RosebudcnUID: 2495311

个人意见，仅供参考：

When it comes to the two main characters--aspects更好些 of one thing-enjoyment and necessity 对比有点牵强, different people give different priority. Some people assert that one should spend more time on something they are fond of while i-I，下同 do not agree with that. Personally, i put the necessity on the most important place --the necessity goes first and my reasons are listed as follows.

First of all, the things we like are--去掉 usually do more harm than good to ourselves, sometimes people around us--这句意思不明朗. Take smoking as and typical example，. Most man-- many people prefers--去掉 smoking as their habit since they consider it is--可去掉 a good way to relax oneself and even some teen-boys--teeagers believe smoking is a cool behaviour which can attract girls. However, everyone of all--去掉 knows about the terrible result brought from smoking through variety--various kinds of channels. Smoking is the chief factor leading to--main cause of lung cancers and heart attack. Besides, it also--去掉 takes negative effect on the second-hand smoker because of the bad habit--去掉. !KDU

       y7^
|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE:s4g5]UH(I
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J5zR*QH        Mz
On the other hand, something--觉得应该用the things 之类的特指词 necessary but absence--t of enjoyment are--去掉 probably benefit us. Most people have this--such experience when they were college students. At the end of semester, the teacher--professor of on-去掉 science subjects always ask--demand students to hand up a paper about the major, which will cost millions--lots of time and energy thus students are beginning to go crazy to figure out the specific topic, search the information, and combine the resource together. It is really a period of hardship, but when every paper has been finished, the students know more about the course,and that is what students receive the college education going for.

Of course what i mean giving the necessity priority does not refer to abandoning our enjoyment, but making it as our promoter of success. Einstein made a good example for us. Playing violin was a part of his everyday life.He once said violin was his best friend and sometime became the inspiration of his scientific researches--这段例子很流畅，赞. If all of us can take full advantages of our own habits like Einstein, there will be nothing negative. The most importance need to be remembered is what we choose to be the habit and how we use it.寄

lm_&\'i@
To sum up, considering the aspects i discussed above, it is sagacious to conclude that we should focus firstly on necessity then pounder the thing we are favourite and if possible, make out the perfect match for them.

总结：LZ思路还不错的，先论证有些事情虽然乏味辛苦但却非常必要并且对人们有益；然后又补充说明这并不是说人们应该放弃自己的爱好和享受，相反利用得好能够促进个人发展。但要加强表达，尽量用最简洁的词把意思说明白。

lemon1kgUID: 2309820

改得很细，非常感谢哦~~
这个用词的问题看来够明显的，呵呵。

RosebudcnUID: 2495311

用词问题确实很令人苦恼，多看看新概念，有可能的话背一背，体会用词方法。一起加油！

kturyUID: 2274868

原帖由 lemon1kg 于 2008-8-4 11:01 发表
我想了想，如果写成1：社会娱乐活动增加，导致人们自控性降低。
                           2：盲目模仿别人的模式——成功建立在兴趣的基础上。
                           3：专注于享乐，忽视了必要工作 ...

1.喜欢从事各种娱乐活动，却不去想想自己应该为家庭，社会做些什么有意义的事情。
2。喜欢批评人们的陋习 看不惯某些人的行为   但对自己的行为却缺少约束。
3。喜欢模仿成功人士的模式 却不去思考自己与别人的差距与不同。
嘿嘿 我可能会这么写。。。