COMEON-----作文小组9.11---by candicehe

candiceheUID: 2543359

9月11日
Agree or disagree: Getting advice from the older friends is more valuable than getting advice from friends at your age. (2007.8.11)

Almost everyday, people get advices from their friends suggesting what they should do or not and they do benefit from most of these advices, however, when considering the issue what kind of advice is more valuable, from the older friends or from the peers, I tend to choose the former as discussed below.

To begin with, advices from the older friends are more persuasive than those from the peers. One compelling reason is that they have certain experience which the peer never has, therefore people can take good advantage of these advices by consider them as directions. This is especially true when it comes to a completely new field which we know nothing about. For example, a person who just graduates from the college and gets his first job in the company, he may have no idea on how to change his/her role from a student to a professional employee. However, an older friend’s advice at this moment will certainly help him/her adapt to this completely new environment (用得不好，想不出来什么词) by suggesting how to deal with relationship between colleague, face difficulties or release pressure, which the peer might know nothing about.

Furthermore, older friends’ advices will make more sense by preventing people from repeating their mistakes.  Take the first year student for example, they always considered the excellent students to be those who can get scholarships or have high marks in the exam. Thus, most students choose to focus on their lessons all day and leave little time for anything else. On the contrary, a graduate student would hold a different opinion that the academic result is not enough, which only make sense when being taken into practice. They find themselves at a loss when facing the fierce job competition and learn a good lesson from their own experience that the practical skill plays a key role while finding a job. A first year student who follows the advice of his/her older friends is more likely to value every chance to apply what she/he learns into practice and have more advantage over others, therefore avoiding repeating older friends mistakes.

Some people may argue that the advice from the older may be outdated ones which are not valuable. However, people should have ones own judgment and filter these advices according to the current situation. After all, nobody could deny the positive effect of the older friends persuasive advices which come from their own experience.

In sum, people should neglect none of these advices given by the friends. However, as discussed above. I consider the older friends’ advice to be more valuable than those from the peers if having to make a comparison between the two.

[ 本帖最后由 candicehe 于 2008-9-12 23:39 编辑 ]

moyukaUID: 2497564

Almost everyday, people get advices from their friends suggesting what they should do or not and they do benefit from most of these advices, however, when considering the issue what kind of advice is more valuable, from the older friends or from the peers, I tend to choose the former as discussed below（这句话太长了吧……最好拆开）. 留学,考（）这试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA5kJO-}jb$`T
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To begin with, advices from the older friends are more persuasive than those from the peers. One compelling reason is that they have certain experience which the peer never has, therefore people can take good advantage of these advices by consider them as directions. This is especially true when it comes to a completely new field which we know nothing about. For example, a person who just graduates from the college and gets his first job in the company, he may have no idea on how to change his/her role from a student to a professional employee. However, an older friend’s advice at this moment will certainly help him/her adapt to this completely new environment (用得不好，想不出来什么词) by suggesting how to deal with relationship between colleague, face difficulties or release pressure, which the peer might know nothing about.

Furthermore, older friends’ advices will make more sense（替换了会比较好） by preventing people from repeating their mistakes.  Take the first year student for example, they always considered the excellent students to be those who can get scholarships or have high marks in the exam. Thus, most students choose to focus on their lessons all day and leave little time for anything else. On the contrary, a graduate student would hold a different opinion that the academic result is not enough, which only make sense （怪怪的，which应该就近指代了吧）when being taken into practice. They find themselves at a loss when facing the fierce job competition and learn a good lesson from their own experience that the practical skill plays a key role while finding a job. A first year student who follows the advice of his/her older friends is more likely to value every chance to apply what she/he learns into practice and have more advantage over others, therefore avoiding repeating older friends mistakes.+_bMfv:a

Some people may argue that the advice from the older may be outdated ones which are not valuable. However, people should have ones own judgment and filter these advices according to the current situation. After all, nobody could deny the positive effect of the older friends persuasive advices which come from their own experience.2vSc
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In sum, people should neglect none of these advices given by the friends. However, as discussed above. I consider the older friends’ advice to be more valuable than those from the peers if having to make a comparison between the two.（结尾段明确观点应该会更好。）
我觉得整篇文章的感觉就是不必要的从句很多，也不知道怎么改起。。。可能都改成直接的简单句会好很多。
作者词汇蛮好的 没有出现明显的用词重复，值得我学习:p
语法水平有限，不足请指正。
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candyamUID: 2325105

我觉得candicehe 的作文不错，我觉得这里大多数人的作文如果5分满。可以拿3分，但是candicehe
可以拿到4分~~~~