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[未归类] COMEON作文小组-----krasovsky 9月13日作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-9-14 14:35:05 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
In my opinion. the best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time with my friends. Spending time alone can only make me feel more stressful.

On one hand, spending time with close friends can give me a totally relaxation. For example, I can invite my friends to bars to have a chat. During the conversation, we can tell each other the unhappy things we experience. What is more important, we can offer suggestions to each other about how to deal with the unhappy things. The communication with friends can be of great in helping reduce stress. As we all know that certain kinds of physical exercises such as playing basketball can help people to relax themselves, however, if we are alone, playing basketball can just be boring. So we need to play with others to share the relaxation that sports bring to us.


On the other hand, spending time alone can only make the situation worse, that is making people feel more anxious and stressful. When alone, people may feel that they can not find a emotional outlet to reduce their stress, so they stress may just accumulate to such an extent and make they feel deeply sad. What is worse when people feel too much stress they may commit suicide. I have a friend who is sort of introvert and doesn't like to communicate with others. When his girlfriend died in an car accident he was very sad and stayed alone at home for a whole week and then killed himself. This is a tragedy which can be avoided if he had found somebody to talk to. So trying to spend alone to reduce stress is absolutely not a wisdom choice.

To sum up, I think spending time with friends is better way to relax and reduce stress while spending time alone can just get you involved in greater unhappiness.


[ 本帖最后由 krasovsky 于 2008-9-14 14:38 编辑 ]
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发表于 2008-9-16 21:05:00 |只看该作者
全文感觉写得比较简单,嗯,比如第二段
On one hand, spending time with close friends can give me a totally relaxation. For example, I can invite my friends to bars to have a chat. During the conversation, we can tell each other the unhappy things we experience. What is more important, we can offer suggestions to each other about how to deal with the unhappy things. The communication with friends can be of great in helping reduce stress. As we all know that certain kinds of physical exercises such as playing basketball can help people to relax themselves, however, if we are alone, playing basketball can just be boring. So we need to play with others to share the relaxation that sports bring to us.
用了很多we are的主谓宾陈述句,建议变换下句型吧,
I can invite my friends to bars to have a chat.改成Chatting with friends in the cafe, we can share the happyness and sad emotions with each other
.
推荐楼主个附件,我最近看的觉得很好,那里有很多句式,我们一起加油

“十大句式”在新托福写作考试中的应用.doc

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板凳
发表于 2008-9-18 09:18:33 |只看该作者
谢谢qawsed,一起加油吧
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RE: COMEON作文小组-----krasovsky 9月13日作业 [修改]

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COMEON作文小组-----krasovsky 9月13日作业
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