COMEON作文小组------santong10月8日作业,求狠拍！谢谢！

santongUID: 2195564

Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize. （2007.7.21,技术进步与成功类）

Have you ever paid attention to the difference of appearances between modern people and the people lived in a couple years ago?  I have, people in nowadays would bring a lot of things such as cell phones, computers, MP3s or MP4s, watches and maybe even their dogs. Another question raised, why? Why do modern people have more things to take along? Because of the development, modern society are becoming more and more complex, and that results in more technological things, then people should study to use them and make a well-done organization.

Firstly, it is important to plan in modern world. An old saying goes that: the opportunity always prefer the people who have prepared. I should say that I am not a good planner when I was a student. For example, when I was preparing for the graduate examination for the senior degree, I was attracted by the opportunities entering famous enterprises. So I prepared the resume and the interview at the time I was reviewing for the exam to try to grasp that good chance. The result was, of course, fail to get into famous enterprises and also fail to get into the graduate school. All of that was because I had no precise plan.

Secondly, it seems that we have more activities to attend and more people to meet, so it is also essential for us to have the ability to organize. Of course, we cannot enjoy a party which we asked others to organize for us, there was no music we like, no foods we want, no wines we were crazy about. We want the party for ourselves, and we need to invite the persons we like. The best way is to organize it by ourselves. We list the things we have to prepare, the names we want to see, and the helps we maybe need. Consequently, we may have a wonderful party we desired without others different ideas bringing to the party.

In conclusion, not only the party things we need to plan and organize, but also many other important aspects. Planning and organization can make our work and study more efficient, take us to attend more activities and bring us more rational spirit.  

qawsedUID: 2359935

Have you ever paid attention to the difference of appearances between modern people and the people lived in a couple years ago? 开头这句和主题不太相关哦，后面很难扣题的感觉，貌似只局限于appearance了，另外a couple years 和主题的比较不太相配。 I have, 这个有点口语化。people in nowadays would bring a lot of things such as cell phones, computers, MP3s or MP4s, watches and maybe even their dogs. 在首段举这么详细的例子显然不是很合适，另外这些例子也不能准确说明他们使人们更加会organize.Another question raised, why? Why do modern people have more things to take along? Because of the development, modern society are becoming more and more complex, and that results in more technological things, then people should study to use them and make a well-done organization.


Firstly, it is important to plan in modern world. An old saying goes +like that: the opportunity always prefer the people who have prepared. I should say that I am not a good planner when I was a student. 此处应该补充说明下你要说的例子是自己的一心二用，无计划，导致了一事无成。For example, when I was preparing for the graduate examination for the senior degree, I was attracted by the opportunities entering famous enterprises. So I prepared the resume and the interview at the time I was reviewing for the exam to try to grasp that good chance. The result was, of course, fail to get into famous enterprises and also fail to get into the graduate school. All of that was because I had no precise plan.


Secondly, it seems that这个说法不好，直接说in modern society更扣题 we have more activities to attend and more people to meet, so it is also essential for us to have the ability to organize. Of course, we cannot enjoy a party which we asked others to organize for us, there was no music we like, no foods we want, no wines we were crazy about.这句没看懂~可以这么写吗？ We want the party for ourselves, and we need to invite the persons we like. The best way is to organize it by ourselves. We list the things we have to prepare, the names we want to see, and the helps we maybe need. Consequently, we may have a wonderful party we desired without others different ideas bringing--brought to the party.

In conclusion, not only the party things we need to plan and organize, but also many other important aspects. Planning and organization can make our work and study more efficient, take us to attend more activities and bring us more rational spirit.
LZ文章结构还比较工整，论证要多下些功夫。加油啊，尽量交当天的作业，不然就没有人帮你看了~~

santongUID: 2195564

呵呵，谢谢啦，我就是论证得乱七八糟的，还需大家帮助啊！