comeon小组 -- ly8768 10月22号作文

ly8768UID: 2452066

I agree that government should spend more money on arts instead of athletics. Arts can express human's soul and mind; consequently it will provide a way for people to assess behaviors of the society. Compared with arts, allocating money on athletics is unnecessary.

Artists usually use arts to express people's emotion and creative ideas. Beethoven composed the No.3 Symphony to encourage to love life and overcome difficulties when they are frustrated; Balzac wrote Comedie Humaine to depict the condition of his coeval society to critic evil of human; even common civilians use songs to show their loves to their lovers in dream. In some cases, arts become the voice of public to show politic view of denizens. It is well known to us that, Picasso who is the top painter in the world, draw an abstract painting of the bombed city to express constrained public hatred and sorrow which become the avatar of the public voice. Even in the realm of science, literatures can inspire scientists to develop those fantastic inventions. One of the most famous examples is the appearance of submarines which first is portrayed in Jule Verne's fiction novel, 20000 Leagues under the Sea. Therefore, convinced by the benefits above, I strongly proposed that government should allocate sufficient money in support of arts.

Furthermore, it is unnecessary to increase the financial support on athletics. I concede that the importance of citizens' physical condition is manifest, yet it makes no sense to raise official budget on athletics. For one thing, hardly can civilians gain benefits by enhancing ambience of athletics; conversely, it is more efficient for government to improve exercise equipment both in community and schools. What is more, it is more advisable to spend the extra money on denizens than on a minor group of people. For the other thing, it is the main responsibility of federal government to serve for residents of its nation. Admittedly, the succeed achieved in Olympic Games will give international fame for the nation, yet such achievement should be based on the advanced physical level of the whole nation rather than the level of athletes. In this circumstance, though government should provide convenience to Olympic Games, other methods including enterprises-sponsor would be better choices. As a result, it is unacceptable to increase the government expenditure on Olympic athletics.

In sum, if make a choice, I would argue that government should lay priority to allocate extra money on support of arts when it plan the budget as a result of art’s special function.

梦想在望2008UID: 2546295

我会于明天上午将修改建议上传！
请谅解

梦想在望2008UID: 2546295

I agree that government should spend more money on arts instead of athletics. Arts can express human's soul and mind; consequently it will provide a way for people to assess behaviors of the society. Compared with arts, allocating money on athletics is unnecessary.d1}0MN&g:[(V4T3s8m7T!T_&p#tQ]Artists usually use arts to express people's emotion and creative ideas. Beethoven composed the No.3 Symphony to encourage to love life and overcome difficulties when they are frustrated; Balzac wrote Comedie Humaine to depict the condition of his coeval society to critic evil of human; even common civilians use songs to show their loves to their lovers in dream. In some cases, arts become the voice of public to show politic view of denizens. It is well known to us that, Picasso who is the top painter in the world, draw an abstract painting of the bombed city to express constrained public hatred and sorrow which become the avatar of the public voice. Even in the realm of science, literatures can inspire scientists to develop those fantastic inventions. One of the most famous examples is the appearance of submarines which first is portrayed in Jule Verne's fiction novel, 20000 Leagues under the Sea. Therefore, convinced by the benefits above, I strongly proposed that government should allocate sufficient money in support of arts.bbs.gter.netK+}!V#c6ef~4aFurthermore, it is unnecessary to increase the financial support on athletics. I concede that the importance of citizens' physical condition is manifest, yet it makes no sense to raise official budget on athletics. For one thing, hardly can civilians gain benefits by enhancing ambience of athletics; conversely, it is more efficient for government to improve exercise equipment both in community and schools. What is more, it is more advisable to spend the extra money on denizens than on a minor group of people. For the other thing, it is the main responsibility of federal government to serve for residents of its nation. Admittedly, the succeed achieved in Olympic Games will give international fame for the nation, yet such achievement should be based on the advanced physical level of the whole nation rather than the level of athletes. In this circumstance, though government should provide convenience to Olympic Games, other methods including enterprises-sponsor would be better choices. As a result, it is unacceptable to increase the government expenditure on Olympic athletics.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GREq(|,vJ3Gb7b0z1A)}s@-vC-s+SZIn sum, if make a choice, I would argue that government should lay priority to allocate extra money on support of arts when it plan the budget as a result of art’s special function.
总体来讲，我认为这位战友写得真的很好！结构工整，语言丰富，句型转换频繁，举例能够充分支持观点。是一篇值得在下学习的好文章！

ly8768UID: 2452066

过奖了，其实写的时候感觉词汇还是很贫乏的。而且有些句子很不地道

qianqianloveUID: 2551515

I agree that government should spend more money on arts instead of on athletics. Arts can express human's soul and mind; consequently it will provide a way for people to assess behaviors of the society. Compared with arts, allocating money on athletics is unnecessary.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GREqv&O
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bbs.gter.netm7zQ({Z!G        U

Artists usually use arts to express people's emotion and creative ideas. Beethoven composed the No.3 Symphony to encourage people不然后面的they指代不明 to love life and to  (and后结构要严格一致)overcome difficulties when they are frustrated; Balzac wrote Comedie Humaine to depict the condition of his coeval society to critic evil of human; even common civilians use songs to show their loveslove爱是不可数 to their lovers in dreams. In some cases, arts become the voice of public to show politic view of denizens. It is well known to us that, Picasso who is the top painter in the world, draw an abstract painting of the bombed city to express constrained public hatred and sorrow which become the avatar of the public voice. Even in the realm of science, literatures can inspire scientists to develop those fantastic inventions. One of the most famous examples is the appearance of submarines which first is  is first  portrayed in Jule Verne's fiction novel, 20000 Leagues under the Sea. Therefore, convinced by the benefits above, I strongly proposed that government should allocate sufficient money in support of arts.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE0f7K!QA[N

Furthermore, it is unnecessary to increase the financial support on athletics. I concede that the importance of citizens' physical condition is manifest, yet it makes no sense to raise official budget on athletics. For one thing, hardly can civilians gain benefits by enhancing ambience of athletics 动宾搭配有点不当,提高运动气氛?; conversely, it is more efficient for government to improve exercise equipments both in communities and schools. What is more, it is more advisable to spend the extra money on the whole denizens than on a minor group of people. For the other thing, it is the main responsibility of a federal government to serve for the residents of its nation. Admittedly, the succeed achieved in Olympic Games will give international fame for (to)记得是give sth to sb的结构,要不就把give改成raise the nation, yet such achievement should be based 这里为什么要用被动?直接用主动就可以on the advanced physical level of the whole nation rather than on the level of athletes . In (under)this circumstance, though government should provide convenience to( provide sth for sb)Olympic Games, other methods including enterprises-sponsor would be better choices. As a result, it is unacceptable to increase the government expenditure on Olympic athletics.

in sum, if make a choice, I would argue that government should lay priority to allocate extra money on support of arts when it plan the budget as a result of art’s special function.

ly8768UID: 2452066

谢谢了，以后要注意词汇搭配