COMEON作文小组——jiwasun 2008 11月3日作业

jiwasunUID: 2425569

Teacher's ability to relate well with the students is more important than knowing the subject well.

It is a fact that students are sent to school to learn knowledge from their teachers. However, the progress of modern education rises a new discussion that teacher's ability to relate well with the students should be emphasized. The general public hold the opinion that teachers' knowing the subject well is much more important than  getting along well with the students. I really quite don't agree to it and the reasons supporting my choice are listed as below.

First, the good relationship between the teacher and students will exercise an positive influence on the students' knowledge learning. It is not difficult to imagine that a teacher gets along well with his students and the students will all admire him. As a result, students will participate more at the teacher's class, and further more hard working they will do at the very subject. No doubt, the teaching of this class will achieve more.

Second, the better the relationship between the teacher and students is, the more effort the teacher would make on the teaching, thus the more excellent students will be. It is often a case that individuals tend to stay with the person they like rather than the one they hate. Likewise, the teacher with a good relationship towards students inclines to spend long time with them. Students could obtain more instructions and more difficult problems could be solved comparatively easily as long as the teacher is in the classroom. However, if the relationship between them is worse, the teacher may be boring at students and he or she is apt to leave quickly as soon as the class is over.


Finally, if these two aspects mentioned above working simultaneously, teacher's teaching and students' learning will both benefit to each other and the weakness on the knowing of own major could be eliminated. There is no doubt that the process of teaching is the right process of learning. When the teacher encounters some questions he or she doesn't understand thoroughly while teaching, he or she will solve them to the best of their ability. Thus, the teacher's subject knowledge will be enriched and the weak point will be strengthen easily.

In sum. the focus of the teacher's ability should be placed upon relating well with the students. Enough attention should be paid by the normal universities in the education of the future teachers on this ability.

gjwUID: 2512308

It is a fact that students are sent to school to learn knowledge from their teachers. However, the progress of modern education rises（raise） a new discussion that teacher's ability to relate well with the students should be emphasized. The general public hold the opinion that teachers' knowing the subject well is much more important than  getting along well with the students. But,i really quite don't agree to it and the reasons supporting my choice(idea,前面已经否定了一种说法，也就表明了你的选择) are listed as below.（这一段建议lz重写，思路跳跃太大，不够合理）

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First, the good relationship between the teacher and students will exercise an positive influence on the students' knowledge learning. It is not difficult to imagine that a teacher gets along well with his students and the students will all admire him. As a result, students will participate more （activities） at the teacher's class, and further more hard working they will do(be) at the very subject. No doubt, the teaching of this class will (encourage students to )achieve more (academic)goals.
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Second, the better the relationship between the teacher and students is, the more effort the teacher would make on the teaching, thus the more excellent students will be. It is often a case that individuals tend to stay with the person they like rather than the one they hate. Likewise, the teacher with a good relationship towards students inclines to spend long time with them. Students could obtain more instructions and more difficult problems could be solved comparatively easily as long as the teacher is in the classroom. However, if the relationship between them is worse, the teacher may be(seems to be) boring at(to) students and he or she is apt to leave quickly as soon as the class is over.
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Finally, if these two aspects mentioned above working(works) simultaneously, teacher's teaching and students' learning will both benefit to each other and the weakness on the knowing of own major could be eliminated. There is no doubt that the process of teaching is the right process of learning. When the teacher encounters some questions he or she doesn't understand thoroughly while teaching, he or she will solve them to the best of their ability.(这里考虑一下，用词还不太合理) Thus, the teacher's subject knowledge will be enriched and the weak point will be strengthen easily.寄托家
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In sum. the focus of the teacher's ability should be placed upon relating well with the students. Enough attention should be paid by the normal universities in the education of the future teachers on this ability.
总结：1.用词还比较单调（本人也存在这个问题）
             2.逻辑还不够清晰，主要是衔接的跳跃比较大，至少很多表达并不符合英语的思路。
             3.希望楼主把主要的动词搭配强化一下，这样才会比较地道。

[ 本帖最后由 gjw 于 2008-11-4 19:18 编辑 ]

jiwasunUID: 2425569

感谢楼上修改
强化动词搭配方面能不能提点建议，给点方法呢