common作文小组---- needyou ----10月12号

needyouUID: 2251649

Nowadays, the ability to cooperate is more important than past? Agree or disagree?寄托家园,

I agree that the ability to cooperate is more important than past. Nowadays, the social become more and more complex, and such a world need people connect with each other more and more frequently. Because one people and not face and fight with other company, you knows that unit is power.

I think in the past, cooperate is so important, prehistorically people need cooperate to live in the world, kidding, in the medieval, some genius people can work out so many problem other people faced. Like Aristotle. So many mathematic rules base on his research. But in today’s science research, need so many different fields experts to cooperate to work out some problem, or some new equipment, like recent china’s moon research project, we need space scientist, physical scientist, chemical scientist, and computer scientist, so on. So many experts cooperate can work out the real world’s problem and run a so complex project.

And in our daily life, know how to cooperate is a real important ability, how to live with other people. In a company or, in a team, cooperate can make your company or your team been succeed. In sports game, like basketball, how’s the advertisement’s motto? “Hey, brother, basketball is five, not me”. “no brothers, no game.”  So you knows that cooperate is how much important? We can not see charles chamberland  again, no one can get 100-points one game, because nowadays basketball game are more and more cooperate in defense, so get point is not as easy as the old days.

But like I said above, in the past, prehistorically people need cooperate to live in the world, cooperate is the essential ability in human beings. And I want to say, trade, and army is some kind of cooperate, cooperate base on someone’s communication and lead ability, training such ability like communication and lead can make a more important role in cooperate in a team.

In conclude, today’s social is more complex than ever, whereas in sports or in social life. So knows how to and be good at cooperate in so important in modern life.

糖不甜UID: 2345216

I agree that the ability to cooperate is more important than past. Nowadays, the social become more and more complex, and such a world need people connect with each other more and more frequently. Because one people and not face and fight with other company, you knows that unit is power.这一句语法有错，要表达什么？

I think in the past, cooperate cooperation is so important, prehistorically people need need的助动词形式主要用于现在时态的疑问句、否定句和条件句中，所以这里还是加个to吧cooperate to live in the world, kidding什么意思？, in the medieval这是个形容词，加times, some genius people genius本身就是天才的意思，变复数就可以了can work out so many problems other people faced. Like Aristotle. So many mathematic rules base on resulted from his research. But in today’s science research, need so many different fields experts to cooperate to work out some problems这句话没有主语, or some new equipment, like recent china’s moon research project, we need space scientist, physical scientist, chemical scientist, and computer scientist, so on. So many experts cooperate can 语法错误，连续连个动词work out the real world’s problem and run a so complex project.

And in our daily life, know how to cooperate is a real important ability, how to live with other people. In a company or, in a team, cooperate can make your company or your team been succeed. In sports game, like basketball, how’s the advertisement’s motto? “Hey, brother, basketball is five, not me”. “no brothers, no game.”  So you knows that cooperate is how much important? We can not see charles chamberland again, no one can get 100-points one game, because nowadays basketball game are more and more cooperate in defense, so get point is not as easy as the old days.

But like I said above, in the past, prehistorically people need cooperate to live in the world, cooperate is the essential ability in human beings. And I want to say, trade, and army is some kind of cooperate, cooperate base on someone’s communication and lead ability, training such ability like communication and lead can make a more important role in cooperate in a team.

In conclude, today’s social is more complex than ever, whereas in sports or in social life. So knows how to and be good at cooperate in so important in modern life.

这位同学，忠言虽然逆耳但利于行，所以我就直说了。你的语法错误太多了，逻辑也很混乱，看的我十分云里雾里的，所以作文改的我非常痛苦，改到第二段我就改不下去了。第二段里的错误我也没有都给你标出来。建议你先认真补习下语法，多背背单词，丰富下词汇，这个是基础。

然后我想说下你的论证，文章第一句就开门见山，说你同意cooperation在现代比过去更加重要。但是第二段却在强调cooperation在过去非常重要，我还以为你写跑题了。第三段你写到了cooperation在现在的重要性，但是论证感觉薄弱。第四段的第一句话题一转又跑到prehistoric去了... 看的我整个傻眼。

所以，整篇文章的逻辑给人很混乱的感觉，不知道你究竟是agree还是disagree。我觉得可能你的审题有点儿问题，帮你分析下题目：Nowadays, the ability to cooperate is more important than past? Agree or disagree? 像这类题目，应该注意到than这个词，就是要你去比较两者，然后得出结论。所以写文章时，你可以写cooperation在过去很重要，但是既然你的观点是agree题目的statement，就要更多的去强调在现在的重要性，prehistoric的部分就只是起个铺垫作用而已，用来衬托nowadays的部分。

恩，大概就写这些吧，我有点儿啰嗦，希望对你有所帮助。

[ 本帖最后由 糖不甜 于 2008-10-13 14:02 编辑 ]