issue180 感觉内容有点空．望指教，有拍必回

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

180"Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated."
提纲，
1，        法律通常是人们道德上公认的真理，它在很大程度上保证了社会的有序性。
2，        但是，人类有些道德观念有地区性的差异， 法律很难满足不同地域和人群的道德倾向
3，        当一些道德行为无法用法律来约束的时候，我们应该尽量通过其他渠道使人们的道德行为对社会有利。
正文
with regard to the two-sides nature(material and spiritual)of things existing in the world,it’s difficult for human beings to bracket the justice of all human behaviors along with the validity of laws, nor could all conducts be within confines of morality. sometimes an act is considered right if inspected by law while wrong in terms of morality, and vice versa. Under such a circumstance,only through stricking a balance between morality and law could the socity attain the everlasting order.

First and foremost,the universal notion of “right”in morality allows the adoption of manners, customs,traditions, laws which in turn create public order. The illuminating example involves the law-endowed penalties on stealing and rape. Because, basing on the criterion of moral,stealing and rape infringe on other people’s rights of possession of property and welfare in body and mentality,consequently, people who commite the two immoral conducts above shoud be sentenced to jail, which is a means judicatory imposed on malefactors. In addition to this, other improper acts such as embezzlement,homicide, arson and so forth are as well prohibited by law in that they, more often than not, are detrimental to the societal harmony.  Generally speaking, it cannot be denied that most items listed in the constitution and criminal law are in accordance with public’ideal moral wish．In this sense, social harmony is established by the presence of laws which stem from people’s attitude towards right and wrong that is enforced by conscience.

Nevertheless, there still lies the possibility that people’s understanding of right things varies greatly from region to region. In an area where residents advocate the idea that right of life is bestowed upon as soon as the fetus is formed in a woman’s abdomen, abortion is a wrong thing because it violates the right of life of the infant. When it comes to an adult-oriented community,however, people there would figure that the right of life takes effect only after the infant is born. As a result, abortion is acceptable and it can be used at the mother’s will. In light of the versatility of people’s conception in morality, it’s fairly impossible for the enaction of law to cater all people’s moral standard. In this sense, the need of necessary social order necessitates the judicious law as a vehicle to guarantee people’s foundamental well-being even though it’s in conflict with some people’s conception of moral.

Concession granted that moral behaviors cannot be legislated, we still have to create “moral laws” in order to promise the positive developmental trend of the society. For the sake of this, it’s highly recommendable that people resort to moral education, which can be implemented in virtue of propagandizing,so as to educate people what is right and what is wrong, and thus they could follow what the right directes. In most events,understanding of right is generated from the set of values people adopted during infancy to allow the invoking of reason, this leaves us some hints that moral education should be best carried out during infancy in that people’s infancy and childhood determine their understanding of morality, which in trun determine the harmony of our society. Under this circumstance, we can tell children that stealing is wrong by tapping their palm when doing so, tell them cheating in exams is despicable by offering them no praise even though a good score they have got, tell them slander is guilty by forcing them to apologize to others after speaking bad and false words about others.etc

All in all,it’s true that law could solve many problems of the modern society because law is acquiesced by public’s conscience as a best tool guaranteeing the order of our society. Yet, having known the existence of variational or even ambivalent understanding of moral deed, it’s not feasible to cope with all things through morality, in this case, therefore, compulsory laws should be relied on so as to promise the elementary harmony and safety of the society

提纲：作者的论述有其合理之处，但也存在不当的地方。
1）：道德行为是不能立法的推论是合理的；1，道德是internal 的，而法律是external的，而且是为了保护秩序，如果没影响秩序不必要禁止（让座，尊敬老人）2，道德有地区性差异（穿吊带，在中东不允许）
2）：多数情况下，许多社会问题是可以通过法律手段来解决的；即使不能解决也是因为立法不健全（作弊，美国的休闲）
3）：仅仅认为道德行为不能立法导致了许多社会问题不能通过法律手段来解决是片面的、不准确的。

The statement actually consists of a series of three related claims: (1) moral behavior cannot be legislated; (2) many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system; and (3) it is because moral behavior cannot be legislated that many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system. While I concede the first claim, whether I agree with the other two claims depends on a case-by-case basis.

[ 本帖最后由 sallyxindu 于 2006-3-5 23:58 编辑 ]

virginia730UID: 208873

占个位子把～～晚上来看

这位ＪＪ也是成都的吗？（老乡～～～！老乡～～！）
字数厉害那。。。用了多久？

安婧UID: 2156480

Sally，怀疑你昨晚睡没睡啊？

yogurt4UID: 198389

原帖由 安婧 于 2006-1-2 14:57 发表
Sally，怀疑你昨晚睡没睡啊？

:handshake

yogurt4UID: 198389

180"Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated."
提纲，
1，        法律通常是人们道德上公认的真理，它在很大程度上保证了社会的有序性。
2，        但是，人类有些道德观念有地区性的差异， 法律很难满足不同地域和人群的道德倾向
3，        当一些道德行为无法用法律来约束的时候，我们应该尽量通过其他渠道使人们的道德行为对社会有利。
正文
with regard to the two-sides nature(material and spiritual)of things existing in the world, it’s difficult for human beings to bracket the justice of all human behaviors along with the validity of laws, nor could all conducts be within confines of morality. Sometimes an act is considered right if inspected by law while wrong in terms of morality, and vice versa. 这里说一下ACT和social order的关系，转的太突兀。Under such a circumstance, only through stricking a balance between morality and law could the society attain the everlasting order.

题目只有一半讲到道德和法律无法统一的问题。你整篇文章都按照这样的思路来写，应该迅速对题目的前一半做出回应。如果我来看，很多社会问题无法解决是立法不健全，执法不严格的结果。你如果要默认题目and 前面的内容，要提一下。

First and foremost, the universal notion of “right”in morality allows the adoption of manners, customs, traditions, laws which in turn create public order. TS写的有点模糊。你的观点是反对题目的后半部分。TS可以改成：notion of “right” in morality in some circumstances promotes the legislation of laws或者laws accord with morality in most circustances The illuminating example involves the law-endowed penalties on stealing and rape. Because, basing on the criterion of moral, stealing and rape infringe on other people’s rights of possession of property and welfare in body and mentality, consequentlybecause和consequently一起用有问题, people who commite the two immoral conducts above shoud be sentenced to jail be put into prison , which is a means judicatory imposed on malefactors. In addition to this, other improper acts such as embezzlement,homicide, arson and so forth are as well prohibited by law in that they, more often than not, are detrimental to the societal harmony. Generally speaking, it cannot be denied that most items listed in the constitution and criminal law are in accordance with public’ideal moral wish．In this sense, social harmony is established by the presence of laws which stem from people’s attitude towards right and wrong that is enforced by conscience. 重点想表达的内容放主句，其他不重要的内容做修饰部分。看这个结尾的句子，重心落到social harmony上去了。虽然这也是你想说的内容，但是本段的中心还是在法律和道德的关系。

Nevertheless, there still lies the possibility that people’s understanding of right things varies greatly from region to region.people’s understanding of right things varies greatly from region to region就可以了，更清晰简洁。你这个TS还是有模糊概念的嫌疑。这里的right things是从道德上来说的还是从法律上？这一段又是反对题目的后半部分（和上一段是反的）：你认为人们有时候对道德行为理解的差异会导致立法的困难。 In an area where residents advocate the idea that right of life is bestowed upon as soon as the fetus is formed in a woman’s abdomen, abortion is a wrong thing because it violates the right of life of the infant. When it comes to an adult-oriented community, however, people there would figure that the right of life takes effect感觉take effect和right搭配有点怪only after the infant is born. As a result, abortion is acceptable and it can be useduse？ at the mother’s will. In light of the versatility of people’s conception in morality, it’s fairly impossible for the enaction of law to catercater to吧 all people’s moral standard it is almost impossible to enact laws forbidding abortion. In this sense, the need of necessary social order necessitates the judicious law as a vehicle to guarantee people’s foundamental well-being even though it’s in conflict with some people’s conception of moral.

最后一句应该是对全段的概括。你讲了一大段的人们对abortion的理解有差异，不可能立法。结尾怎么成了：即使和某些人的道德观念有冲突，为保证人们的基本利益，还是应该立法？ 回头看，你B1也讲到了social order的问题。法律有没有保证社会秩序，社会和谐是否有要求立法，不是这里写的问题。Social order, laws, morality的关系要分清。
我觉得这个例子还是用的非常好的。可以拓展一下思路：既然不同地区的人对道德行为的理解有差异，法律是不是也有它的地区差异？对于那些不重视未出生生命的地区，abortion就是合法的。

Concession granted that Granted that就可以了吧？这个写的像ARGU moral behaviors cannot be legislated, we still have to create “moral laws” in order to promise the positive developmental trend of the society. For the sake of this, it’s highly recommendable that people resort to moral education, which can be implemented in virtue of propagandizing, so as to educate people what is right and what is wrong, and thus they could follow what the right directes？. In most events, understanding of right is generated from the set of values people adopted during infancy to allow the invoking of reason, this leaves us some hints that moral education should be best carried out during infancy in that people’s infancy and childhood determine their understanding of morality, which in trunturn determine the harmony of our society. 这个句子讲了太多意思，可以分成几个句子讲  Under this circumstance, we can tell children that stealing is wrong by tapping their palm when doing so Who doing what?, tell them delete tell them, ‘that’ might be better. cheating in exams is despicable by offering them no praise even though a good score they have got, tell them slander is guilty by forcing them to apologize to others after speaking bad and false words about others.etc

这一段从意思上跑题了。题目是请你分析是不是。。？原因何在？B3写成提建议的样子，不知道是在论证什么= =

All in all, it’s true that law could solve many problems of the modern society because law is acquiesced by public’s conscience as a best tool guaranteeing the order of our society. Yet, having known the existence of variational or even ambivalent understanding of moral deed, it’s not feasible to cope with all things through morality, in this case, therefore, compulsory laws should be relied on so as to promise the elementary harmony and safety of the society.

内容：先看题目。题目实际上有两层意思。
一，        现代社会的很多问题都无法通过法律的解决。
二，        为什么这样说呢？原因在于很多道德行为是没有办法法律化的。
这里面实际上暗含了一层意思：现代社会的很多问题是和道德相关的。
写的时候MS没有分析好题目就下笔了，结果B1和B2的关系成反的了。

语言：MM用的难词和复杂句子好多。这些东西适当穿插就好了，否则看的有点晕。清晰简洁是流畅的前提。有些地方没比较用一些高级词汇和搭配，不小心用错了平白增加扣分点。推荐boyjim写的那个评判作文的精华，好好体会。

继续加油的说^^

ps打完逗号空一格，写完作文先放到WORD里看一看。

yogurt4UID: 198389

兰色的地方有的是指出你的错误
还有的我把句子改动了一下,偷个懒,呵呵