5T同主题写作第6期--topic143，欢迎大家互拍

wyl3UID: 2160115

Recently more and more discussions have been concentrated upon students’ vacation. Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. Others believe that student should have several short vacations throughout the year. In my opinion, I would prefer to have a long vacation each year rather than have several ones in a whole year. There are some reasons to support my opinion as follows.

First of all, a long vacation each year provides me a sufficient time to make a detailed schedule for study. When involved in the busy daily life in the university, I have to not only finish all kinds of compulsory and optional classes the university required, but also do some part-time jobs in my spare time. So I do not have enough time to do what I would like to, such as learning a second foreign language, exercising my favorite guitar and learning calligraphy from my father. However, if I have a vacation, especially a long vacation, I could make a detailed schedule for my study. In the morning, I can recite a beautiful essay written in a foreign language. And then I could practice playing some melodious songs with my favorite guitar. In the afternoon, I can learn calligraphy from my father. What a wonderful vacation I would have if then!

Another reason for that I would like to have a long vacation each year is that I could stay a long time with my family during my vacation. As a Chinese student, I may be more homesick than many other students. Family plays a viral role in my life. As far as I am concerned, I can not have a good condition to study and work if I do not have family. Therefore I cherish every time when I stay with my family. My mother will make delicious meals for me. And my father will have a discussion about my study and work if he is not occupied in his career. In a long vacation, I could stay with them and enjoy a harmonious family life.

On the contrary, some people may hold the point that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. In that case, they may have several times to live with their families, especially for those whose home far away from their universities. Several short vacations also supply them with some pauses during their busy study or work.

A coin has its two sides. As a point of my view, I prefer a long vacation each year. It offers me enough time to study, do my favorite things, and the most important, stay with my family. These are really what I want.



刚写完就贴上来了，自己稍微改了一下，希望大家提出宝贵意见，希望大家互拍！
:handshake:handshake:):)

[ 本帖最后由 wyl3 于 2006-5-2 22:41 编辑 ]

DidoyUID: 2181213

以下是我的拙见:
首段第一句有点突兀，如果加一句背景会比较好一点
二段我的理解是讲了两个好处，一个是由于在校期间时间紧张，无法很好完成所有学业，长假期可以好好学习。另一个是可以利用长假其做自己喜欢的事情。我不知道你的意思是不是这样。如果是的话，我觉得应该分为两段来写，挤在一段里让我觉得思维逻辑不是很清楚。
三段的叙述主观性强了一点，不过还是很可以说服人的
这是我的，请赐教，谢谢
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

wyl3UID: 2160115

第二段是想说有了集中的时间可以做喜欢的事情：学习和其他的等等
第三段就是想说可以可家人团聚，我自己也清楚表达可能有一些主观，但怎么改正呢？？
还请赐教

DidoyUID: 2181213

因为你也提到了，短假期也是可以和家人团聚的，那就首先要突出你提到的长假期可以使家里远的同学团聚，可以团聚更长的时间。最好不要不停地说你自己有多么的喜欢团聚，或者团聚对你来说多重要。把它放到所有同学身上。我这样讲，你明白么？

wyl3UID: 2160115

明白了
拿这不是说明我的论点，缺乏说服力了？
改之！