issue1（第一篇习作 还没怎么找到方向 请大家指点）

angelloverUID: 199157

“We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.”


Many people prefer to stay with people whose views they share rather than hear others’ disagreement because they believe that disagreement would cause stress, thus it would be an inhibition in the process of learning. Others would take the other side that it is disagreement that promotes our learning while the same ideas would contribute little to our progress. It might not be easy to come to a conclusion towards such an issue, but in my opinion, we could benefit more from contradicting views rather than always enjoy the pleasure of agreement.

Admittedly, similarity could sometimes do good to people because people tend to be encouraged by those whose views they share. On the one the hand, agreement makes things seem not so complicated. It is not strange in nowadays that people are more easily to get lost in such a complex world which is developing more and more quickly. And it is not easy for one to make sure whether his/her understanding of the outside world is correct or not. Thus many people would hold such thinking as “If others also think it is so, it is quite likely that in fact it is so.” Agreement would decrease people’s confusions in their daily life, which would make things seem more clear, and the world seem not so tanglesome. And on the other hand, with the agreement of others, people would be more confident in themselves since most people believe that the more people who agree with you there are, the more likely it is that your statement is correct.

However, there do exist many problems if people all share the same view, and contrast to the disadvantages of agreement I insist that disagreement contributes more to the development of both individuals and society.

In the first place, agreement would make people too confident to realize their faults. In the successive dynasties of Chinese history, wise emperors always encourage their premiers and the citizen to tell the truth regardless of the disagreement so that they could find the faults in the process of their governing and correct them as soon as possible while fatuous emperors could hardly hear anything different from the their  ideas. The history witnesses the prosperity and declining of each dynasty and gives people such a lesson as “Disagreement promotes development”. In the second place, if people all think in the same way, there would be no creation or novelty to speak of. Creation or novelty means to be different, and difference would cause disagreement with no doubts. It is the contradicting views that provide people with alternative perspectives to the surroundings, which is the key in any problem-solving, including creation and innovation.   

Someone may argue that disagreement is a frustration in learning and sometimes the process of coming into agreement would turn out to be meaningless or a waste of time in the end. It is not always true. The fact is that others’ disagreement would force us to think twice about what we may ignore at first and could help us to come to a more reasonable conclusion. One of my own experiences is a case in point. Once when I offered a solution of the homework to my classmate to discuss, which I think is excellent enough for anyone to accept it undoubtedly, he proposed a lot of disagreement and we argued for quite a while. Each of us got very unhappy and even a little angry because none of us would like to give in and it seemed a waste of time to continue arguing. Later when I calmed down and thought about it once again, I found that the words of my classmate did make sense and it is true that at first I really missed something important to think about. Without the disagreement I might never realize it, and it is just the disagreement that helps me make progress in learning.

In sum, we are in a multi-culture world, in which disagreement is not only inevitable, but also necessary in promoting the development of the human society. What we should do is not to try to avoid disagreement but accept it sincerely and take advantage of others’ disagreement to develop ourselves.

[ Last edited by angellover on 2005-6-10 at 17:38 ]

songwei1765UID: 202658

Many people prefer to stay with people whose views they share rather than [to] hear others’ disagreement because they believe that disagreement would cause stress, thus it would be an inhibition in the process of learning. Others would take the other side that it is disagreement that promotes our learning while the same ideas would contribute little to our progress. It might not be easy to come to a conclusion towards such an issue, but in my opinion, we could benefit more from contradicting views rather than always enjoy the pleasure of agreement.[开头段落有点冗长，最好精练点]

Admittedly, similarity[指代明确了，是哪方面的similarity] could sometimes do good to people because people tend to be encouraged by those whose views they share. On the one the[去掉] hand, agreement makes things seem not so complicated. It is not strange in nowadays that people are more easily to get lost in such a complex world which is developing more and more quickly. And it is not easy for one to make sure whether his/her understanding of the outside world is correct or not. Thus many people would hold such thinking as “If others also think it is so, it is quite likely that in fact it is so.” Agreement would decrease people’s confusions in their daily life, which would make things seem more clear, and the world seem not so tanglesome[entangled]. And on the other hand, with the agreement of others, people would be more confident in themselves since most people believe that the more people who agree with you there are, the more likely it is that your statement is correct.[这段想谈agreement存在的客观性，题意掌握得不错，就是论证还是hypothetical，尽量从实际情况出发。]

However, there do exist many problems if people all share the same view, and contrast to the disadvantages of agreement I insist that disagreement contributes more to the development of both individuals and society.[这段并到下一段去]

In the first place, agreement would make people too confident to realize their faults. In the successive dynasties of Chinese history, wise emperors always encourage their premiers and the citizen to tell the truth regardless of the disagreement so that they could find the faults in the process of their governing and correct them as soon as possible while fatuous emperors could hardly hear anything different from the[去掉] their ideas. The history witnesses the prosperity and declining[decline] of each dynasty and gives people such a lesson as “Disagreement promotes development”. In the second place, if people all think in the same way, there would be no creation or novelty to speak of. Creation or novelty means to be different, and difference would cause disagreement with no doubts. It is the contradicting views that provide people with alternative perspectives to the surroundings, which is the key in any problem-solving, including creation and innovation. [君王的意志不代表人民群众的意志，因而decline of each dynasty不能证明disagreement的作用。在现实生活中disagreement的功效很多，这样的例子才具有广泛适用性。]   

Someone may argue that disagreement is a frustration in learning and sometimes the process of coming into agreement would turn out to be meaningless or a waste of time in the end. It is not always true. The fact is that others’ disagreement would force us to think twice about what we may ignore at first and could help us to come to a more reasonable conclusion. One of my own experiences is a case in point. Once when I offered a solution of the homework to my classmate to discuss, which I think is excellent enough for anyone to accept it undoubtedly, he proposed a lot of disagreement and we argued for quite a while. Each of us got very unhappy and even a little angry because none of us would like to give in and it seemed a waste of time to continue arguing. Later when I calmed down and thought about it once again, I found that the words of my classmate did make sense and it is true that at first I really missed something important to think about. Without the disagreement I might never realize it, and it is just the disagreement that helps me make progress in learning.[作者想证明段首的几句的话，就不用再详细描述怎样和he争得面红耳赤了。尽管ETS在指南中提到可以援引自己切身的例子，但偶还是觉得这样的例证比较单薄，而且有特殊性，不具代表性。]

In sum, we are in a multi-culture world, in which disagreement is not only inevitable, but also necessary in promoting the development of the human society. What we should do is not to try to avoid disagreement but accept it sincerely and take advantage of others’ disagreement to develop ourselves.

[作者基本上还是严格按照题意展开的，一开始陈述disagreement存在的客观性，而后顺应题目就其利弊展开讨论，结构还是无可厚非的。语言部分就没细看了，下来自己再加强~~
注意论证的力度和客观性，要让别个接受你的观点，你的论证就要完善而具有代表性。]

[ Last edited by songwei1765 on 2005-6-10 at 21:31 ]

angelloverUID: 199157

多谢指教 等我好好想想再修改一下

太空猫猫UID: 142143

举例的时候那个君王的例子,感觉写的和主题不太接近.
但说实话，不好找着方面例子,顶多说DISAGREE促进从不同的角度看问题，但不能说,能学到很多东西啊,因为最后的结果会证实WHO更客观。
我自己也很迷惘这个ING

angelloverUID: 199157

Originally posted by 太空猫猫 at 2005-6-13 23:55
举例的时候那个君王的例子,感觉写的和主题不太接近.
但说实话，不好找着方面例子,顶多说DISAGREE促进从不同的角度看问题，但不能说,能学到很多东西啊,因为最后的结果会证实WHO更客观。
我自己也很迷惘这个ING

其实只是想找一个“一致”会使人盲目自信的例子

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.”


Many people prefer to stay with people whose views they share rather than hear others’ disagreement because they believe that disagreement would cause stress, thus it would be an inhibition in the process of learning. Others would take the other side that it is disagreement that promotes our learning while the same ideas would contribute little to our progress. It might not be easy to come to a conclusion towards such an issue, but in my opinion, we could benefit more from contradicting views rather than always enjoy the pleasure of agreement.不错的开头，前面简洁点就更好了呵呵

Admittedly, similarity could sometimes do good to people because people tend to be encouraged by those whose views they share. On the one the hand, agreement makes things seem not so complicated. It is not strange in nowadays that people are more easily to get lost in such a complex world which is developing more and more quickly. And it is not easy for one to make sure whether his/her understanding of the outside world is correct or not. Thus many people would hold such thinking as “If others also think it is so, it is quite likely that in fact it is so.” Agreement would decrease people’s confusions in their daily life, which would make things seem more clear, and the world seem not so tanglesome. And on the other hand,前面都on the other hand了这里又一次 with the agreement of others, people would be more confident in themselves since most people believe that the more people who agree with you there are, the more likely it is that your statement is correct.这段思路不错，但是如何benefit了还是没有说出来，让步要看你支持的观点是什么，既然第一段提出benefit more from contradicting views 那么让步应该说虽然从agreement上也能benefit,但是如何如何，你只说出来agreement可以给人们带来好的感觉，但是那个benefit在哪里？仅仅是感觉好么？比如说makes things seem not so complicated， 这个seem 本身就是个否定，表达出来的只是人们感觉他们的行为是正确的，但是agreement到底有什么好处呢？ 难以和contradicting views进行比较了。我感觉让步段放在后面好一些，可以比较容易的回到你的观点上来

However, there do exist many problems if people all share the same view, and contrast to the disadvantages of agreement I insist that disagreement contributes more to the development of both individuals and society.

In the first place, agreement would make people too confident to realize their faults.不如说不同的意见可以有利于发现错误更直接些 In the successive dynasties of Chinese history, wise emperors always encourage their premiers and the citizen to tell the truth regardless of the disagreement so that they could find the faults in the process of their governing and correct them as soon as possible while fatuous emperors could hardly hear anything different from the their  ideas. The history witnesses the prosperity and declining of each dynastydeclining of each dynasty就是因为没听取逆耳的忠言么？ and gives people such a lesson as “Disagreement promotes development”. 觉得这样举例有些简略，没有很好的表达出来contradicting views的作用在哪里，最好到具体的事例，然后加以分析。比如它是如何帮助发现问题，人们吸取了建议之后如何进步之类，会更深入更全面些In the second place, if people all think in the same way, there would be no creation or novelty to speak of. Creation or novelty means to be different, and difference would cause disagreement with no doubts. It is the contradicting views that provide people with alternative perspectives to the surroundings, which is the key in any problem-solving, including creation and innovation.  这段两个点选取的都不错，只是可以再丰富一些的，第一个已经说过了，第二个感觉也是刚点出来就结束了，注意这个benefit可以有很多发挥余地的，重点不是在于contradicting views本身的作用，而是人们从中获得到了什么，如何进步，如何提高等等，这方面再加强论述一下，就更扣题了

Someone may argue that disagreement is a frustration in learning and sometimes the process of coming into agreement would turn out to be meaningless or a waste of time in the end. It is not always true. The fact is that others’ disagreement would force us to think twice about what we may ignore at first and could help us to come to a more reasonable conclusion. One of my own experiences is a case in point. Once when I offered a solution of the homework to my classmate to discuss, which I think is excellent enough for anyone to accept it undoubtedly, he proposed a lot of disagreement and we argued for quite a while. Each of us got very unhappy and even a little angry because none of us would like to give in and it seemed a waste of time to continue arguing. Later when I calmed down and thought about it once again, I found that the words of my classmate did make sense and it is true that at first I really missed something important to think about. Without the disagreement I might never realize it, and it is just the disagreement that helps me make progress in learning.例子太详细了，上次有网友研究过范文说取胜的要点就是对于例子的深入分析，所以一段的一大半都是一个例子的话给人的感觉就是论证停留在表面现象上，而没有深入进去。所以例子最好用简练的语言让人明白是怎么回事儿就可以，重点在于例子的分析上，说说你从中如何benefit，然后反面再来一次，without….我就如何如何了，所以还是要怎么样。这样就会显得比较充分。还有个问题就是这个段落的作用：body1已经让步了一次，这里我觉得没有必要以some people my argue that….but it is….这样的方式了，感觉直接提出观点会更好

In sum, we are in a multi-culture world, in which disagreement is not only inevitable, but also necessary in promoting the development of the human society. What we should do is not to try to avoid disagreement but accept it sincerely and take advantage of others’ disagreement to develop ourselves.


好话不说了，用词和语句比较有水准。问题：1，body1有些不顺畅的感觉，让步和你要论证的观点联系的不紧凑。2，body2可以再充分一些  3，一个重要的问题，注意题目的more than 关系，是不是文章中一直没有很好的体现比较关系？此类题目在写的时候最好不要只顾着说一方面的优点，而忘了比较。这样的题目审题可以好好看看imong的特训，我感觉帮助不小的。呵呵。加油！

angelloverUID: 199157

多谢指教：）
"imong的特训"是什么啊？

staralwaysUID: 193479

Originally posted by angellover at 2005-6-16 00:20
多谢指教：）
"imong的特训"是什么啊？

看这里：https://bbs.gter.net/forumdis ... =type&typeid=50。

victoriazhizhiUID: 163135

https://bbs.gter.net/forumdis ... =type&typeid=50

staralwaysUID: 193479

Originally posted by victoriazhizhi at 2005-6-16 00:28
https://bbs.gter.net/forumdis ... =type&typeid=50

我动作快~~:D