agruement 145 (somethingtobe组第一次作业 西电小鑫)

西电小鑫UID: 2169133

提纲：
1。同时性因果错误 把同时发生的现象当成了因果关系， 没有考虑到其他可能的因素影响了gaining weight.
2. 证据的引用存在问题 （1）新调查没有给出样本总量和样本的具体构成 （2）无据假设 认为间歇性Interruption 引起了 tired.
3 没有考虑到他的建议的负面作用

第一篇正式的argument 超时10分钟 都没来的及写总结段 请大家指正！ 希望大家都有好成绩 合作愉快


In this argument, the speaker recommends that people who snores ought to try to eat less and exercise more than the average person for the purpose of losing weight. To support her argument, the speaker cites a recent study that shows the correlation between the persons who snore and their common characteristic that easily gaining weight. Meanwhile, she proposes the summaries refers to the procedure of snore. However, a careful examination would reveal that her deduction is logically inconvincible.
       
In the first place, the speaker blurs the correlation of concurrence and the cause-and-effect relationship. She fails to convince us that snore is the most significant aspect that results in gaining weight. In order to solidify her recommendation, the speaker takes it for granted that there is no other ways that attribute to their participants’ gaining weight. Nevertheless, it is entirely possible that the majority of people who participate in the new study are living in a bad habit, or a bad diet without enough vitamin but too much fat. Perhaps they are among the group of people who favors fried foods but vegetables. In short, the speaker unfairly ignores other important problems that cause gaining weigh, thereby leading to a unwarranted recommendation.

In the second place, two potential problems can be found from the evidence cited by the speaker. First, the new study fails to provide us any statistics and the quantity of participants, thus seems too vague to be informative. Without the detailed evidence that concludes accurate statistics such as the portion of old people , adults, children among the whole sample, it is impossible  for us to admit that the speaker's recommendation is efficient and effective. Second, the speaker commits the fallacy of begging the question. Lacking the evidence that whether the interruption of breathing would wake the person, the speaker unfairly asserts that brief interruption of breathing necessarily leave the person too tired. Until we are informed it is the interruption of breathing that causes person too tired, the speaker cannot convince us that her suggestion would be sound enough.

Finally, the speaker fails to consider the negative problems that her recommendation would provide.  Perhaps due to the exercise in the daytime, the brains keep in an active statues that lead to a far severer snore. Or perhaps eating less, that is to say breaking up the existing diet and habit, would cause the disturbing of nutrition balance in the body, thus driving the person to anxiety, careless and so forth. In order to substantiate her recommendation, the speaker should propose detailed analysis for convincing us that her proposal is not a backfired plan.

siaUID: 2181690

第一次写超时10分已经是很好的成绩了哈！我来看看文章……

In this argument, the speaker recommends that people who snores[snore] ought to try to eat less and exercise more than the average person for the purpose of losing weight. To support her [his or her] argument, the speaker cites a recent study that shows the correlation between the persons who snore and their common characteristic that easily gaining weight [their common likelihood to gain weight easily]. Meanwhile, she [为什么一定认定是女的写的呢？] proposes the summaries refers to the procedure of snore. However, a careful examination would reveal that her deduction is logically inconvincible.
        
In the first place, the speaker blurs[个人认为blur是边缘模糊，这里用confuse是否会好些？] the correlation of concurrence and the cause-and-effect relationship. She fails to convince us that snore is the most significant aspect[factor] that results in gaining weight. In order to solidify her recommendation, the speaker takes it for granted that there is no other ways that attribute to their participants’ gaining weight. Nevertheless[In fact是否会好些？], it is entirely possible that the majority of people who participate in the new study are living in a bad habit, or a bad diet without enough vitamin but too much fat. Perhaps they are among the group of people who favors[favor小鑫你要注意单复数哦] fried foods but[rather than] vegetables. In short, the speaker unfairly [unreasonably] ignores other important problems [alternative factors]that cause gaining weigh, thereby leading to a unwarranted recommendation.

In the second place, two potential problems can be found from the evidence cited by the speaker. First, the new study fails to provide us any statistics and [or] the quantity of participants, thus seems too vague to be informative. Without the detailed evidence that concludes accurate statistics such as the portion of old people , adults, children among the whole sample, it is impossible  for us to admit that the speaker's recommendation is efficient and effective. [这几句写得好！]Second, the speaker commits the fallacy of begging the question. Lacking the evidence that whether the interruption of breathing would wake the person, the speaker unfairly asserts that brief interruption of breathing necessarily leave [leaves] the person too tired. Until we are informed it is the interruption of breathing that causes person too tired, the speaker cannot convince us that her suggestion would be sound enough.

Finally, the speaker fails to consider the negative problems that her recommendation would provide[might cause].  Perhaps due to the exercise in the daytime, the brains keep[remain] in an active statues that lead to a far severer snore. Or perhaps eating less, that is to say breaking up the existing diet and habit, would cause the disturbing of nutrition balance in the body, thus driving the person to anxiety, careless[carelessness] and so forth. In order to substantiate her recommendation, the speaker should propose detailed analysis for convincing us that her proposal is not a backfired plan.

少个结尾段。我觉得你既然是刚上手，完全没有必要赶时间。还是先保质量，最后再提速吧。文章一定要完整哦
第二段中的分析挺好的。（我和你的论点差不多，但是论述就要差很多了，呵呵）。而感觉第三段的论述就弱了一些。另外ts是否能在具体一些呢？感觉你只是说了很框架的东东。说错的地方请尽管指出，我们再讨论：）