issue154 敬候赐教

audreytyhUID: 210943

TOPIC: ISSUE154 - "Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."

syllabus:
1. parents play an important part in education
2.communities could be back up force and supplement to education
3.both parents and communities are needed and possible in education.

Recently the issue of whether parents and communities must be involved in the local schools has been brought to public attention. Many people claim that since there are many professional educators who have been well trained to educate students in school, parents and communities' involving in the local schools seem to be redundant. On the contrary, other people assert that education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators so that both parents and communities are needed. In my opinion, I agree that merely depending on professional educators to teach the students in schools is somehow too insufficient to receive the optimum educational effects, therefore parents and communities need to be involved in the local schools.

In the first place, it is necessary to probe into parents' performance in education. Professional educators could inculcate student with right principle, basic knowledge, critical thinking methods and so forth. However, when hundreds of students go into local schools with few teachers, one cannot expect educators to notice every student’s aspects or character as well as problems occurred and say nothing of providing optimum teaching method that suits each one. Since parents, persons who bring up and care for their offspring, know their children like the palms of their hands, they could examine the students' situation immediately and avoid problems by their appropriate means or by cooperating with teachers. Actually, people have been aware of parents' huge effect in education. Parent-Teacher Association, an organization of local groups of teachers and the parents of their pupils that works for the improvement of schools and the benefit of the pupils, has been set up to exert parents affects in education.

In the second place, communities could be the back up force and supplement to local education. It is well known that part of communities' tax avenue is financed to school for fundament construction, equipment maintenance and so forth. What is more, communities also provide social practice opportunities for local school students to increase their working experience and communication technology. As it is well accepted that the educational primary goal is not only to cultivate students' mind but also to prepare them for the job market, communities' effect on education can not be ignored.

Finally, there is the need and possibility for both parents and communities to be involved in the local school. A well-educated student needs solid knowledge fundament, critical thinking method, growing problem solving, practice capability and so forth. Lacking each of them, the education is incomplete. Actually, in some places, parents and communities do have provided effectively support to local school education. Take my hometown for example: people there recognize the importance of education. Parents initiatively connect with teachers to acquire the students’ performance in school and reflect their own children’s status at home. Local community pays much attention on school daily operation and provides strongly supports when needed.

From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that the success of local school depend on not only teachers but also the involvement of parents and the local community to the extent. It is unwise to leave education solely to a group of professional educators. By the efforts from teachers, parents, and communities, we can create an optimum studying environment for students.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-3-14 15:17 编辑 ]

jackloveUID: 183611

Recently the issue of whether parents and communities must be involved in the local schools has been brought to public attention. Many people claim that since there are many professional educators who have been well trained to educate students in school, parents and communities' involving in the local schools seem to be redundant. On the contrary, other people assert that education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators so that both parents and communities are needed. In my opinion, I agree that merely depending on professional educators to teach the students in schools is somehow too insufficient to receive the optimum educational effects, therefore parents and communities need to be involved in the local schools.
开头还比较清晰/

In the first place, it is necessary to probe into parents' performance in education. Professional educators could inculcate student with right principle, basic knowledge, critical thinking methods and so forth. However, when hundreds of students go into local schools with few teachers, one cannot expect educators to notice every student’s aspects or character as well as problems occurred and say nothing of providing optimum teaching method that suits each one. Since parents, persons who bring up and care for their offspring这句话比较废话, know their children like the palms of their hands, they could examine the students' situation immediately and avoid problems by their appropriate means or by cooperating with teachers. Actually, people have been aware of parents' huge effect in education. Parent-Teacher Association, an organization of local groups of teachers and the parents of their pupils that works for the improvement of schools and the benefit of the pupils, has been set up to exert parents affects in education.
这段不是很充分
父母因为了解孩子，所以有能力找到教育方法。突然你峰回路转，实际上人们已经知道父母对教育的影响，这个联合组织正是父母对教育的影响。 我感觉很不顺//

In the second place, communities could be the back up force and supplement to local education. It is well known that part of communities' tax avenue is financed to school for fundament construction, equipment maintenance and so forth. What is more, communities also provide social practice opportunities for local school students to increase their working experience and communication technology. As it is well accepted that the educational primary goal is not only to cultivate students' mind but also to prepare them for the job market, communities' effect on education can not be ignored.
恩，这个可以地说。

Finally, there is the need and possibility for both parents and communities to be involved in the local school. A well-educated student needs solid knowledge fundament, critical thinking method, growing problem solving, practice capability and so forth. Lacking each of them, the education is incomplete. Actually, in some places, parents and communities do have provided effectively support to local school education. Take my hometown for example: people there recognize the importance of education. Parents initiatively connect with teachers to acquire the students’ performance in school and reflect their own children’s status at home. Local community pays much attention on school daily operation and provides strongly supports when needed.
这段和前面有区分吗？明显是重复了。
From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that the success of local school depend on not only teachers but also the involvement of parents and the local community to the extent. It is unwise to leave education solely to a group of professional educators. By the efforts from teachers, parents, and communities, we can create an optimum studying environment for students.   //结尾还好，清晰和开头一致
语法基本没事么问题
总体第三段和其他两个一样的
应该把第一段再完善 充实  就不错
第三段可以塞在前面的论点下面吧/

audreytyhUID: 210943

非常感谢，我自己写的时候也是在第三段卡壳比较久。但是当时没想清楚还有什么论点可写。
再次感谢！

christina_0221UID: 2133432

很舒服读的。

wenyuZUID: 2113611

把你的文章留下了哦.
明天把改后的给你贴回来.
也请你帮我看看我的哦


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谢谢