Issue83 政府和野生环境，写到了疲倦期，感觉不好！

翦瞳UID：184872

   共用时间：45分0秒     529 words
提纲；（每次列的都不太管用，真正写的时候往往思路不一样，这提纲都是写完后总结的）
1 必要性
2 其他地方（人类居住区）
3 除政府外，我们该做的------题目------issue83
Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people.
------正文------
Nowadays, it is more and more important to pay attention on the ecologic and environmental affairs. Human beings have achieve almost everywhere on the earth. Therefore, in my opinion, it is necessary and vital to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, confronting the severe situation of wild animals and plants due to human unceasing grasping erosion.

It is wise for government to preserve the wild areas. Since the environment is too cruel to survive for wild animals and plants in the area occupied by human being, it is a vital field for wild creatures of remote areas. Generally speaking, we humankind seize everything which is beneficial and useful for us without considering other creatures, resulting in the extinct and decreasing of some precious kinds of animals and plants. It is really hard to protect wild creatures in human area while it is only in the remote wilderness areas that can meet with our expectation and the authentic wild area is more and more scarce. In addition, the original ecologic environment is a priceless value not only for wild creatures but also for human being itself. Thus we must preserve public wild areas in their natural state to protect the wild animals and plants and leave the descendents a valuable treasure. To conclude, I can say it is necessary and the only way to protect wild creatures and natural ecological system.

It is not the case that we can do everything we want in our own area or easily accessible area in that it is possible that what we do can result in the aggravation of whole earth. The government should take action in the accessible areas of humankind. That is to say, we also need pay attention on our own problems as the improvement brings to us. As we know, we must deal with lots of severe environmental and ecological problems which are exactly caused by ourselves, such as ozone hole, global warming, and nuclear threatening, and so on. What we committed had effect on our areas as well as the areas we hardly accessed to. So we cannot ignore the necessity of preserving our living areas. Simply to claim we should protect the original state of wild area, we will fail to solve many problems.

In light of the necessity of preserving the global environment, governments all over the world should pay attention on the issue and do their best to ensure its efficiency and effectiveness. Through laws, regulations, and principles established by government we can ameliorate the environment more or less. Beyond the government, other powerful organization can do their works also such as Untied Nations and United Europe. However, we should confess that it is not responsible to rely on the government. The earth is our common earth and need our common endeavors to obey laws spontaneously and to do what we can to attribute to a perfect earth for all creatures living on.

In summary, government should preserve both the publicly owned wilderness areas and our living accessible areas for the earth is a place where all the creatures live. We had committed many errors to the globe, so we had no choice to escape ourselves and other creatures from perils but do as much as we can to protect the natural state of our earth. It also requires our endeavors to preserve all life-forms on the earth.

ahqiuUID：207682

我也写过， 晚上帮你改
我的同主题，请帮我看看，感觉很不好
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ;highlight=%2Bahqiu

ahqiuUID：207682

Nowadays, it is more and more important to pay attention on the ecologic and environmental affairs. Human beings have achieve almost everywhere on the earth. Therefore, in my opinion, it is necessary and vital to preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, confronting the severe situation of wild animals and plants due to human unceasing grasping erosion.

It is wise for government to preserve the wild areas.（中心句不要太短了，特别是这样的句子，会把自己局限在一个wise里面，u、要想方设法的去证明，有点自找麻烦哦。） Since the environment is too cruel to survive for wild animals and plants in the area occupied by human being, it is a vital field for wild creatures of remote areas（这句话不对，the remote area is vital the wild creature）. Generally speaking, we humankind seize everything which is beneficial and useful for us without considering other creatures, resulting in the extinct and decreasing of some precious kinds of animals and plants. It is really hard to protect wild creatures in human area while it is only in the remote wilderness areas that can meet with our expectation and the authentic wild area is more and more scarce.(很绝对，又没有例子) In addition, the original ecologic environment is a priceless value not only for wild creatures but also for human being itself.（这又是为什么，只说出结论，原因呢，为什么对人也很重要） Thus we must preserve public wild areas in their natural state to protect the wild animals and plants and leave the descendents a valuable treasure. To conclude, I can say it is necessary and the only way to protect wild creatures and natural ecological system.（没体现出only way）
It is not the case that we can do everything we want in our own area or easily accessible area in that it is possible that what we do can（what we have done）result in the aggravation of whole earth. The government should take action in the accessible areas of humankind. That is to say, we also need pay attention on our own problems as the improvement brings to us. As we know, we must deal with lots of severe environmental and ecological problems which are exactly caused by ourselves, such as ozone hole, global warming, and nuclear threatening, and so on. What we committed had effect on our areas as well as the areas we hardly accessed to. So we cannot ignore the necessity of preserving our living areas. Simply to claim we should protect the original state of wild area, we will fail to solve many problems.
有创意哈，不过中心句没写出这个层面的意思，很不错了

In light of the necessity of preserving the global environment, governments all over the world should pay attention on the issue and do their best to ensure its efficiency and effectiveness. Through laws, regulations, and principles established by government we can ameliorate the environment more or less. Beyond the government, other powerful organization can do their works also such as Untied Nations and United Europe.（重点不突出阿，本来强调的是后面） However, we should confess that it is not responsible to rely on the government. The earth is our common earth and need our common endeavors to obey laws spontaneously and to do what we can to attribute to a perfect earth for all creatures living on.

In summary, government should preserve both the publicly owned wilderness areas and our living accessible areas for the earth is a place where all the creatures live. We had committed many errors to the globe, so we had no choice to escape ourselves and other creatures from perils （这句话好别扭）but do as much as we can to protect the natural state of our earth. It also requires our endeavors to preserve all life-forms on the earth.
那么短的时间写出来，真的很佩服阿，我这篇文章写了1h，基本上都不是人话
觉得你的文章立意不错，就是说理在加强，虽然这种文章确实不还举例子，但是有的结论要给各理由，不要凭空去说，缺乏逻辑了