argument117 jingjing的最后一篇（写于川大机房）

jingjingtousUID：2164820

TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 467          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-2-22
（提纲就不写了，请多多包涵）

Before accepting the author's recommendation that Valu-Mart store should increase its stock for home office supplies in order to gain more profits, I find the argument is not sufficiently supported by the evidence given. The author seems to unduly rely on a myriad of unsubstantiated evidence and dubious assumptions which render his conclusion totally unconvincing.

To begin with, the mere survey that 70% of the respondents reported that they are required to take more work home can lends little support to the author's suggestion. By close scrutinizing of this survey, the result of it is open to doubt. It begs many questions: who conducted the survey? When and how it was conducted? Can the respondents be representative of the whole population who are required to take more work home? It is highly possible that the sample of the survey is so limited that cannot stand for the whole workers and for that matter, perhaps the survey was sponsored by Valu-Mart store and the questions maybe leading and the subjects may response with the expected answer. Without explanations for these queries, the author's assumption that there is a trend of bringing work home and demands of home office supplies is completely groundless.

In addition, even assuming that the foregoing assertion could be confirmed, the author's inference that Valu-Mart store should increase their stock of home office machines and office supplies is still unwarranted. Primarily, there are some other explanations for the unsuccessful sales. For instance, ineffective management, misleading sale strategies, insufficient demands of the market, poor qualities of their products and so forth. Absent of resolving these factors which greatly influence their sales, the author cannot guarantee that their sales would increase depending merely on the new trend.

On the other hand, we are not informed that the current stock of such home office machines and other instruments cannot satisfy the contemporary demand of the market. Perhaps the stock of such home office supplies is adequate and even excessive. On the other hand, the author cannot hastily generalize the assumption that all their stores should augment their stock of home office machines regardless of conducting a survey or market analysis first. It is entirely possible that different areas have distinct demands for various machines and moreover perhaps some families have already purchased printers, paper shredders, papers, pens etc. As a consequence, there is no need for them to buy additional new ones. Without taking into account such scenarios, the author's conclusion which based on specious assertions could not persuade us at best.

Finally, the author unfairly assumes that by taking advantage of this trend, their departments could certainly earn more profits and even become the most profitable department in the company. However, it might not be the case. Profit is a factor of revenue and costs, perhaps the stocking fee will spontaneously increase according with the increasing stock and so their incomes. Besides, maybe another department has a better performance on the turnover and profits. Therefore, the author's prediction that their department would be the most profitable one is gratuitous.

In sum, the argument is problematic in several respects as discussed above. To bolster it, the author should provide more detailed evidence that there is indeed increasing demand for the home office supplies and this tendency would remain unchangeable in the foreseeable future.

virginia730UID：208873

挖卡卡~~
jingjing的努力精神真让人感动啊.....
来帮你看看

virginia730UID：208873

the questions maybe leading and the subjects may response with the expected answer  这句..看了好久~~似乎总是觉得不对头
仔细看原来: may be leading??? 这个是什么用法?? misleading换成这个把

In addition, even assuming that the foregoing assertion could be confirmed, the author's inference that Valu-Mart store should increase their stock of home office machines and office supplies is still unwarranted. Primarily, there are some other explanations for the unsuccessful sales. For instance, ineffective management, misleading sale strategies, insufficient demands of the market, poor qualities of their products and so forth. Absent of resolving these factors which greatly influence their sales, the author cannot guarantee that their sales would increase depending merely on the new trend
这段的论点不错恩~!!! 明白你的意思了
不过把" 即使有这个潮流,但是质量不好也没顾客" 表达得再直接些

and so their incomes这个跟前面连在一起是个....恩...病句把
so去掉

看完了jignjing的阿狗~~~觉得满不错的. 能够限时成功写那么多.....(泪,我还米成功)
这个文, 错误很透彻了, 但是有个错误, 就是家里工作的人一定要用这些设备吗??
这个你完全没有提到那?? 当然不是都要说完

写得很好了~! jingjing你明天一定可以考很好的~! 明天的这个时候一定可以看到你胜利的微笑了~!!! 哈哈后.........^O^

jingjingtousUID：2164820

呵呵，谢谢奕奕，对了，我想leading的意思是说这个调查的问题可能有引导被调查者的倾向，也就是说，你喜欢吃酸酸的没什么味道的酸奶还是喜好喝新鲜的营养的橙汁？这就是一个leading question可能你喜欢喝酸奶可是你最终还是会选择橙汁,因为它在引导你陷入他想要的答案,不知道我说的对不?
好了,我要走了,你加油哟,我再把我的提纲看看,明天见喽!

@amy@UID：209096

jingjing明天就考了吗？祝你考好噢，抽到最拿手的题，呵呵，等你的好消息~~

virginia730UID：208873

^ ^好~! 加油!!!明天见

智恩UID：2160717

进来看看jingjing的临考作文

智恩UID：2160717

Before accepting the author's recommendation that Valu-Mart store should increase its stock for home office supplies in order to gain more profits, I find the argument is not sufficiently supported by the evidence given. The author seems to unduly rely on a myriad of unsubstantiated evidence and dubious assumptions which render his conclusion totally unconvincing.

To begin with, the mere survey that 70% of the respondents reported that they are required to take more work home can lends【lend】 little support to the author's suggestion. By close scrutinizing of this survey, the result of it is open to doubt. It begs many questions: who conducted the survey? When and how it was conducted? Can the respondents be representative of the whole population who are required to take more work【加一个at吧】 home? It is highly possible that the sample of the survey is so limited that cannot stand for the whole workers and for that matter, perhaps the survey was sponsored by Valu-Mart store and the questions maybe leading and the subjects may response with the expected answer. Without explanations for these queries, the author's assumption that there is a trend of bringing work home and demands of home office supplies is completely groundless.

In addition, even assuming that the foregoing assertion could be confirmed, the author's inference that Valu-Mart store should increase their stock of home office machines and office supplies is still unwarranted. Primarily, there are some other explanations for the unsuccessful sales. For instance, ineffective management, misleading sale strategies, insufficient demands of the market, poor qualities of their products and so forth. Absent of resolving these factors which greatly influence their sales, the author cannot guarantee that their sales would increase depending merely on the new trend.

On the other hand, we are not informed that the current stock of such home office machines and other instruments cannot satisfy the contemporary demand of the market. Perhaps the stock of such home office supplies is adequate and even excessive. On the other hand, the author cannot hastily generalize the assumption that all their stores should augment their stock of home office machines regardless of conducting a survey or market analysis first. It is entirely possible that different areas have distinct demands for various machines and moreover perhaps some families have already purchased printers, paper shredders, papers, pens etc. As a consequence, there is no need for them to buy additional new ones. Without taking into account such scenarios, the author's conclusion which based on specious assertions could not persuade us at best.

Finally, the author unfairly assumes that by taking advantage of this trend, their departments could certainly earn more profits and even become the most profitable department in the company. However, it might not be the case. Profit is a factor of revenue and costs, perhaps the stocking fee will spontaneously increase according with the increasing stock and so their incomes. Besides, maybe another department has a better performance on the turnover and profits. Therefore, the author's prediction that their department would be the most profitable one is gratuitous.

In sum, the argument is problematic in several respects as discussed above. To bolster it, the author should provide more detailed evidence that there is indeed increasing demand for the home office supplies and this tendency would remain unchangeable in the foreseeable future
不错不错，读完都没找到啥问题，考试时仔细一点点就够了
祝你好运～～～肯定能上5分的