Issue218 娴熟笔法+对艺术的深刻理解

DendisUID：158017

Issue 218
------题目------
In order for any work of art—whether film, literature, sculpture, or a song—to have merit, it must be understandable to most people.
------正文------
The speaker's assertion that art must be understandable to most people to have merit is wrongheaded. Misunderstanding the very nature of work of art, the speaker fails to recognize the final objective of art, which has less to do with the majority appreciation than with individual satisfaction.

Turning first to the function of art, which we have a way of thinking, is provision of pleasure to most people at its most common place. As a matter of fact, it is the other way around. According to what Freud has said, art, in essence, is a kind of release of individual lust, converting the human libido into plentiful creativity. It is through the work of art that artists express their passions, emotions, and desires. From this we can see, art is therefore, first and foremost, concerning with the inner world rather than with the outside one as a whole. The film <8/1/2> directed by the famous Italian director Federico Fellini brings immediately to mind. Albeit appreciated by only a tiny fraction of the sophisticated film critics, this great autobiographic film explores the director’s innermost being and still wins the world's highest honor. The fact of first-rate importance is the predominant role that a creator plays in evaluating the artwork, and the various characteristics he or she will manifest.

In addition, if the description of discovering the merit of artwork as “mission impossible” remains controversial, it is certain that the task, which is difficult to accomplish, takes time. Understanding the artistic work is anything but an abrupt process. It calls for the admirers’ gradual penetration into the artwork so as to truly apprehend the connotative meaning. The paintings of Van Gogh, for example, now recognized as among the greatest in the impressionism style, were deemed as worthless even by the connoisseurs of its time. Beethoven's early listeners, again, accustomed to the predictable harmonies and melodic lengths of Hayden, dismissed his symphonies as literally causing their hearts to hurt. There’s no denying the fact that artwork will lose its value without the adoration of its time.

Put another way, the difficulty of understanding the work of art does not, and will hardly mask its own merit. Artwork presents us with insight into what is eternal and universal while at the same time, does not give full regards to whether the appreciators really understand it or not. Nor will the artist easily yield to the public at the expense of self-expressing as well as self-realization. Beauty, many would insist, maintains aesthetically in spite of the fact that few can wholly depict the very essence of it. Interpretation in terms of meaning is meaningless. The same is true with art. The pictures of Picasso, though elusive at its appearance, contributed a lot to the development of cubistic style. The sculptures of Daley, seem puzzled to most of the audience, still took a lead in the modern art. Were the test for meritorious art were its ability to be dearly understood by every observer, then our most valuable art would simply imitate the mundane physical world around us.

In the final analysis, art, from its originality, should distinguish itself from the appreciation by the majority or minority. To be acceptable by most people is one thing while to have merit is another. Art can have significance as long as it shows self-expression of its creator. Only by permeating into the very substance of art can one truly find the merit of art.

DendisUID：158017

B1：探讨艺术是个人欲望的释放，艺术家占有评价艺术特点的首要位置。
B2：对于艺术作品的认识需要一定的时间
B3：即使大众不理解作品，但却仍然无法掩盖作品的特质

paisleyUID：64183

写得不错啊！

imongUID：140258

The speaker's assertion that art must be understandable to most people to have merit is wrongheaded. Misunderstanding the very nature of work of art,（这里应该是个单句） the speaker fails to recognize the final objective of art, which has less to do with the majority appreciation than with individual satisfaction.（VERY STRONG！精彩！）

Turning first to the function of art, which we have a way of thinking, is provision of pleasure to most people at its most common place. As a matter of fact, it is the other way around.（前后转折吗？勉强看明白的样子） According to what Freud has said, art, in essence, is a kind of release of individual lust, converting the human libido into plentiful creativity. It is through the work of art that artists express their passions, emotions, and desires. From this we can see, art is therefore, first and foremost, concerning with the inner world rather than with the outside one as a whole. （牛，这个引证+后面都还不错的，插入语 同位成分用的很熟练）The film <8/1/2> directed by the famous Italian director Federico Fellini brings immediately to mind. Albeit appreciated by only a tiny fraction of the sophisticated film critics, this great autobiographic film explores the director’s innermost being and still wins the world's highest honor. The fact of first-rate importance is the predominant role that a creator plays in evaluating the artwork, and the various characteristics he or she will manifest. （很娴熟+很漂亮呢！）

In addition, if the description of discovering the merit of artwork as “mission impossible” remains controversial, it is certain that the task, which is difficult to accomplish, takes time. Understanding the artistic work is anything but an abrupt process. It calls for the admirers’ gradual penetration into the artwork so as to truly apprehend the connotative meaning. The paintings of Van Gogh, for example, now recognized as among the greatest in the impressionism style, were deemed as worthless even by the connoisseurs of its time. Beethoven's early listeners, again, accustomed to the predictable harmonies and melodic lengths of Hayden, dismissed his symphonies as literally causing their hearts to hurt. There’s no denying the fact that artwork will lose its value without the adoration of its time.（讨论了merit和time，不过我没太看明白time在understandable to most里面的位置？或者说time又是一个独立的元素？）

Put another way, the difficulty of understanding the work of art does not, and will hardly mask its own merit. Artwork presents us with insight into what is eternal and universal while at the same time, does not give full regards to whether the appreciators really understand it or not. Nor will the artist easily yield to the public at the expense of self-expressing as well as self-realization. Beauty, many would insist, maintains aesthetically in spite of the fact that few can wholly depict the very essence of it. Interpretation in terms of meaning is meaningless.（WOW~Nice Rhetorics） The same is true with art. The pictures of Picasso, though elusive at its appearance, contributed a lot to the development of cubistic style. The sculptures of Daley, seem puzzled to most of the audience, still took a lead in the modern art. Were the test for meritorious art were its ability to be dearly understood by every observer, then our most valuable art would simply imitate the mundane physical world around us.（立论相当明确，尤其是后面的例证，没什么可评价的了）

In the final analysis, art, from its originality, should distinguish itself from the appreciation by the majority or minority. To be acceptable by most people is one thing while to have merit is another. Art can have significance as long as it shows self-expression of its creator. Only by permeating into the very substance of art can one truly find the merit of art.

（文笔流畅，修辞丰富，逻辑清晰。对艺术的把握深刻enough。

我的问题只在于：第二段单独提出艺术价值和时间的关系，这一段我觉得也许略有偏题之嫌。在这里，你的意思是艺术价值和时间rather than 大众appreciation有关，还是说时间在使得大众认识中扮演一定因素？还是.....能看得出来你的分析很深刻，如果这篇文章不加改动我觉得基本能拿到5分的，不过我希望看到的是：body2这一分析在“艺术价值和understandable to most”中间是说明了什么？是一个什么样的位置？etc.

真的，也许就差两句话就能把它说明白了。6分 prospective的文章哦！）

希望你能多帮助别人看看作文呢！^_^

DendisUID：158017

能够得到paisley和imong两位斑竹的光临真是十足的荣幸啊，再次谢谢imong的修改，下去研究一下再弥补不足！
考试逼近了，这两天可能来不及帮大家改作文，等我结束后一定会回作文版帮大家一起攻克ets作文，努力ing！

paisleyUID：64183

HOHO,不好意思，结果让imong忙活了。我看得很粗，知道是好文章，但是细节上未必顾及啦。呵呵，我还是去帮有困难的人吧。

dendis有空了去帮帮其他朋友哦。多谢多谢！

imongUID：140258

要不是姐姐提醒我可能都错过了呢

谢谢了 ^_^

lewviUID：155234

斑竹都不跟我们新人改改

lovebrianUID：157127

好文 顶一下仔细看~~~



btw
楼上的朋友：
这里都是新人阿~~~ 关于好多问题 大都可以在imong或者其他斑竹的签名中找到答案呢

needleUID：158900

Issue 218
------题目------
In order for any work of art—whether film, literature, sculpture, or a song—to have merit, it must be understandable to most people.
------正文------
The speaker's assertion that art must be understandable to most people to have merit is wrongheaded. Misunderstanding the very nature of work of art, the speaker fails to recognize the final objective of art, which has less to do with the majority appreciation than with individual satisfaction.[以驳论立论][非常漂亮的开头]

Turning first to the function of art, which we have a way of thinking, is provision of pleasure to most people at its most common place[这个句子好像是个病句。Is的主语怎么能使turning呢？应当是function才对]. As a matter of fact, it is the other way around[是要否定第一句话吗？有点迷惑]. According to what Freud has said, art, in essence, is a kind of release of individual lust, converting the human libido into plentiful creativity. It is through the work of art that artists express their passions, emotions, and desires. From this we can see, art is therefore, first and foremost, concerning with the inner world rather than with the outside one as a whole[漂亮的句子，赞一个]. The film <8/1/2> directed by the famous Italian director Federico Fellini brings immediately to mind. Albeit appreciated by only a tiny fraction of the sophisticated film critics, this great autobiographic film explores the director’s innermost being and still wins [这里的时态是否有点问题？] [one of/several of?] the world's highest honor. The fact of first-rate importance is the predominant role that a creator plays in evaluating the artwork, and the various characteristics he or she will manifest.[很好的例证。不足的地方感觉是没有说清楚role到底是什么呢？对例子的分析如果有所加强，我感觉会更好一些（比如分析清楚不被喜欢的原因/标准，被喜欢的原因/标准）。另外就是开头句后的转折有点费解。前面的论述基本上围绕art work的形成，后面的例证实际紧贴了题目，谈到了欣赏问题，所以一点也不跑。不过，个人建议论述art的时候应当提一点欣赏，与后文相呼应。]

In addition, if the description of discovering the merit of artwork [我感觉这里跟题目有点不相符合，to have merit & discover the merit是站在完全不同的角度的。这二者之间的转化不应当被省略掉，或者，应当在b1中进行说明] as “mission impossible” remains controversial, it is certain that the task, which is difficult to accomplish, takes time. Understanding the artistic work is anything but an abrupt process[又简洁又清晰的句子，再赞！]. It calls for the admirers’ gradual [以gradual呼应time] penetration into the artwork so as to truly apprehend the connotative meaning. The paintings of Van Gogh, for example, now recognized as among the greatest in the impressionism style, were deemed as worthless even by the connoisseurs of its [这个用词有误] time. Beethoven's early listeners, again[漂亮的例子之间的连接], accustomed to the predictable harmonies and melodic lengths of Hayden, dismissed his symphonies as literally causing their hearts to hurt[是不是点透一下后来的状况以便和early对应，也更加能够显出TS中的time的概念]. There’s no denying the fact that artwork will lose its value without the adoration of its time[末尾的总结句跟整段的论点不一致，没有回到“艺术作品的价值人们需要时间去了解”上].[这一段的例证很好，但是分析不够清晰。你的论点在time上，那么例证就应当加上突出time的分析，或者，至少写例证的时候要突出time。更重要的一点是，为什么需要time你没有写（你只写了的确需要time），使得论证不够完善。]

Put another [第3个分论点了，用another合适吗？] way, the difficulty of understanding the work of art does not, and will hardly mask its own merit. Artwork presents us with insight into what is eternal and universal while at the same time, does not give full regards to whether the appreciators really understand it or not. Nor will the artist easily yield to the public at the expense of self-expressing as well as self-realization. Beauty, many would insist, maintains aesthetically in spite of the fact that few can wholly depict the very essence of it. Interpretation in terms of meaning is meaningless. The same is true with art[很强悍的立场]. The pictures of Picasso, though elusive at its appearance, contributed a lot to the development of cubistic style. The sculptures of Daley, seem puzzled to most of the audience, still took a lead in the modern art[词组用得很地道]. Were the test for meritorious art [这里是不是应该有个逗号？] were its ability to be dearly understood by every observer[这个句子什么意思？看了很多遍还是没看懂。貌似if were倒装+虚拟+省略，但是我还原不了。请教一下？], then our most valuable art would simply imitate the mundane physical world around us.

In the final analysis, art, from its originality, should distinguish itself from the appreciation by the majority or minority. To be acceptable by most people is one thing while to have merit is another[这里总结到have上了，那么就更要注意文中自动用discover代替have的问题]. Art can have significance as long as it shows self-expression of its creator. Only by permeating into the very substance of art can one truly find the merit of art.

[赞一个！语言非常的漂亮，灵活生动。我认真学习ing
例证和引用都十分到位。篇幅分配也很合理，例子很形象，但并不浪费笔墨。语言的控制令人赞叹。]

gdhdannyUID：125843

漂亮啊，新概念真的是吃透了，读起来就一个字：爽

我觉得三个观点的内在联系是很值得学习的，佩服

genie05UID：30358

恩，保存下来看，大家都说好~~~拜读拜读~~

简单的复杂UID：158589

没说的，挺流畅的，但总感觉观点似乎太强硬了，有些地方太绝对，如果六点余地的话会更好。

yeyedogUID：125746

The speaker asserts that the any work of art--whether film, literature, or songs have to make most of public to understand them, otherwise those arts cannot exert their beneficial for society. I cannot agree with speaker's statement. I want to query that how many people on earth understand those quirky, bizarre arts? Anyhow, I remain confused with various genres of arts. Furthermore, I doubt whether the genuine value of arts inextricably emphasize on others’ understanding. (写完以后才想起这会不会是imong说的没有有力的提出自己的thesis?)

In most case, I have seen most people attending a famous musician concert, and when I asked them what things they learn from the music? or what emotion they feel? They, in all likelihood, tell me that is an unuttered feeling, in virtually, they including myself on earth understand the meaning and insight behind the music? I doubt it and believe that most of us to hear concert are nothing but feel it inspiring, provocative, however worse, I cannot deny that someone just are fashion-seeker thoroughly for apparent elegance and pompous scenarios. In fact, I sometime liked sitting in my garden just watching the sky and hearing the natural sound embracing me, all that gave me a transient peace and serenity. I asked myself is it art? Or is the power of art supposed to own?

I contend that any form of art serve as an impetus not necessarily to make most people to understand them or their style, or their ingenious design and uncommon materials, or their constitution, but to provoke everyone appreciating them by grasping the most essential entities in everyone's heart-- pursuit for beauty or awareness of love and hate. Every form of genuine arts must serve within this conception. The famous musician compose an euphonic symphony to empathy the audience, and  create an exquisite opera to evoke audience the love for life, nature, family and peers, or sympathy for wretched children, third estate people. And writer should also inculcate communities with democracy, liberty, or spirit of resistance by they fictions, poetry, critics. Similarly, director of film, artisan of sculpture, singer of anthem, all commit to an ideal--to stimulate and sympathy people.

Art should be an entity of the emotion and understanding of artist; artist fathom the deepest substance under whatever they believe are beauty. Even same landscape or object can spur different artist with different feeling, and they present their feeling with different form of art, such as sculpture, music, film, or fiction. As for us, reader or audience, with a diverse perspective and with distinct experience and value system, our feeling are obviously also different. So, how can a person asserts he understand the really meaning of a particular arts? And how can a particular art suppose to evoke miscellaneous person with a particular emotion? I totally think that is fallacious.

Last, I contend that arts are entities of feeling, sprung from artist life experience and to affect every people with different experience. We cannot desire a artist to create a art which can be understand by most people, all we can do is to create a art employing quintessence of nature.

imongUID：140258

最初由 简单的复杂 发布
[B]没说的，挺流畅的，但总感觉观点似乎太强硬了，有些地方太绝对，如果六点余地的话会更好。 [/B]

seems楼主effectively证明了他的“强硬观点”的“rightfulness”

强硬不是错;) 留点余地好在哪里？

取决于有效论证——unless提出由于 强硬 论证做得不好......

明白了？