Issue207 同主题写作，超时3分钟仓促完成，还真不好写

edgarluUID: 203648

这道题目还真是个挑战，看到ritual脑子会自然不自然地望宗教上靠，实在是陷阱重重
没有看同主题帖的分析材料就写了，估计偏差不少，拍则必复

Issue207
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

Outlines:
Rituals and ceremonies is a synthesis of a culture, which reflects a culture instead of defining it.
In an era when people and the society have insightful and objective understanding to themselves, the lack of rituals and ceremonies won¡¯t deduct their sense of self-consciousness
Admittedly, rituals and ceremonies are an effective way for groups of people or even societies to interpret their presence when there is no other way to do so yet.


Article:
Rituals and ceremonies are a big part of cultures, especially traditional cultures. They are historians and anthropologists' favorites since a lot of glues they can find from a great ritual or ceremony through which they could have a broad view against some specific cultures. However, rituals and ceremonies, as far as I am concerned, can't help define a culture, and their absence won't necessarily cause a diminished sense of self-recognition among societies or groups of people.

Rituals and ceremonies is a synthesis of a culture, which reflects a culture instead of defining it. Rituals and ceremonies seem to me a by-product more than a co-definer of cultures. When we want to define a culture, we would usually think about its achievement of art, technology, literature, politics and so on. The rituals and ceremonies are mostly an integration of all of these major cultural elements. For example, the Catholic rituals. The construction of cathedrals and churches vividly represents the architect features and artistry of the classic western Europe cultures. Any rituals held in these buildings could easily drown people into the sacred ambience of both religion faiths and culture. However, these rituals are only a portion of western cultures, which cannot help us define any one of them. For example, Although the ceremonies held in their churches are the same, Spanish culture is very different from Dutch culture even in the realm of religion. Therefore, cultures help to produce rituals and ceremonies while the latter can't define cultures in any way.

In an era when people and the society have insightful and objective understanding to themselves, the lack of rituals and ceremonies won't deduct their sense of self-consciousness. Today human beings have established well-developed disciplines to handle the issues of self-consciousness of certain groups. Individual psychology deals with individuals, mass psychology deals with groups of people, social psychology and sociology takes good care of the society. With technology being developed so fast, people are gaining more and more knowledge about themselves in both physical and mental aspects. We don't have to maintain our sense of self-consciousness with grand rituals and ceremonies, but with objective and rational reasoning and thinking instead.

Admittedly, rituals and ceremonies are an effective way for groups of people or even societies to interpret their presence when there is no other way to do so yet. For example, in the primitive societies where people's destiny were more decided by God's will instead of themselves, they would turn to rituals and religious ceremonies to claim their loyalty to the Holly Lords in exchange for their mercy and charity, which is a popular phenomenon in almost all the ancient cultures. And that's the way they seek for their identities in the universe and recollect courage and faith to live against the rigid reality unitedly. In this sense, rituals and ceremonies do play an important role in helping people know who they are before they find the real answer.

All in all, rituals and ceremonies can't help define a culture. People who live in a less enlightened world need rituals and ceremonies to tell them their positions in the circle of life, until they eventually find a new way to do so.

鬼谷子UID: 159645

这道题目还真是个挑战，看到ritual脑子会自然不自然地望宗教上靠，实在是陷阱重重
没有看同主题帖的分析材料就写了，估计偏差不少，拍则必复

Issue207
Rituals and ceremonies help define a culture. Without them, societies or groups of people have a diminished sense of who they are.

Outlines:
Rituals and ceremonies is a synthesis of a culture, which reflects a culture instead of defining it.
In an era when people and the society have insightful and objective understanding to themselves, the lack of rituals and ceremonies won¡¯t deduct their sense of self-consciousness
Admittedly, rituals and ceremonies are an effective way for groups of people or even societies to interpret their presence when there is no other way to do so yet.


Article:
Rituals and ceremonies are a big part of cultures, especially traditional cultures. They are historians and anthropologists' favorites since a lot of glues【clues？】 they can find from a great ritual or ceremony through which they could have a broad view against some specific cultures. 【前面这句的作用是什么？】However, rituals and ceremonies, as far as I am concerned, can't help define a culture, and their absence won't necessarily cause a diminished sense of self-recognition among societies or groups of people.

Rituals and ceremonies is a synthesis of a culture, which reflects a culture instead of defining it. Rituals and ceremonies seem to me a by-product more than a co-definer of cultures. When we want to define a culture, we would usually think about its achievement of art, technology, literature, politics and so on. The rituals and ceremonies are mostly an integration of all of these major cultural elements. For example, the Catholic rituals. The construction of cathedrals and churches vividly represents the architect features and artistry of the classic western Europe cultures. Any rituals held in these buildings could easily drown people into the sacred ambience of both religion faiths and culture. However, these rituals are only a portion of western cultures, which cannot help us define any one of them. For example, Although the ceremonies held in their churches are the same, Spanish culture is very different from Dutch culture even in the realm of religion. Therefore, cultures help to produce rituals and ceremonies while the latter can't define cultures in any way. 【反对仪式和典礼能够帮助定义文化，这本身就是很难写的思路。而实际上你是通过特例来证明普遍结论，显然说服力不强。】

In an era when people and the society have insightful and objective understanding to themselves, the lack of rituals and ceremonies won't deduct their sense of self-consciousness. 【前后段落衔接不够】 Today human beings have established well-developed disciplines to handle the issues of self-consciousness of certain groups. Individual psychology deals with individuals, mass psychology deals with groups of people, social psychology and sociology takes good care of the society. With technology being developed so fast, people are gaining more and more knowledge about themselves in both physical and mental aspects. We don't have to maintain our sense of self-consciousness with grand rituals and ceremonies, but with objective and rational reasoning and thinking instead. 【似乎脱离了文化而论述。而如何运用objective and rational reasoning and thinking来确定某个group的自我的问题没有交代。论证不够深入。】

Admittedly, rituals and ceremonies are an effective way for groups of people or even societies to interpret their presence when there is no other way to do so yet. For example, in the primitive societies where people's destiny were more decided by God's will instead of themselves, they would turn to rituals and religious ceremonies to claim their loyalty to the Holly Lords in exchange for their mercy and charity, which is a popular phenomenon in almost all the ancient cultures. And that's the way they seek for their identities in the universe and recollect courage and faith to live against the rigid reality unitedly. In this sense, rituals and ceremonies do play an important role in helping people know who they are before they find the real answer. 【我的感觉是，为了让步而让步了一段，按照你的思路，这段可有可无的，对于文章影响不大。所以，你需要改进的是思路和结构。】

All in all, rituals and ceremonies can't help define a culture. People who live in a less enlightened world need rituals and ceremonies to tell them their positions in the circle of life, until they eventually find a new way to do so.。


【思路展开的不够，目前的结构有问题。首先，不赞成你B1的反对仪式和典礼能够帮助定义文化的写法，因为，你同意它们可以reflect文化，而去反对它们能够帮助定义文化，这实际上是矛盾的。如果你一定要这样写，应该用更有代表性，更有说服力的例子。B2的主要问题是脱离了文化这个重要的内容，而且，没有很好的证明出你的论点。B3作用不大。建议重新构思组织一下。加油！】