issue52 同主题的 ，限时，快考，求拍，必回

ardorousUID: 2115432

Issue52  第1篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
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作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：35分4秒     484 words
从2005年6月26日16时51分到2005年6月26日17时35分
------题目------
Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony.
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"Could our family planning policy banned one day then the parents deserved regain the right to have a extra baby? Could our farmers one day obtain the same status and financial support from the government, could the fierce corruption in china one day could be abandoned." These are the question from the students in China. At the same time," Should our children sitting in the school without fear to be shot at next second? Should the aged one day gain the deserving affection and care from their offspring? " asked from the American students. However, an aptly question or criticize may operate as a catalyst to fuel our society further to develop, whereas , an unreasoning criticize may lead to the chaos to a society.


First, a student with profound knowledge of one's country, when engaging into the society, question or criticize seem to be inevitable, which may flow from the preparation for students future career and the wise judgment to the status quo situation. For further supporting, herein lies two good case, first, in China, there is a man admired and revere by the whole country or even the international world -who is the prime minister, ZhouEnlai. Born in the environment when China was charged by other foreign countries , there are disaster everywhere. Starvation and death kill people's dream of obtaining an ordinary life. When in primary school, ZhouEnlai wrote one sentence in his book" for the reconstruction of China one day, reading , writing and assimilating everything as I can ."Inspired by this spiritual power, he often ask question in class and discuss the current situation with the teacher. Eventually, he became someone reform China a lot, bringing a new age of booming. Another case also came from China , as it is known to all, entering the WTO will lead countless development to China ,while in the negotiation between with the WTO official, there exists a brilliant diplomat-Longyongtu. In the university , Long engaged himself in English and the international economic, question and criticize with his classmates ,thus mastering the numerous documents and becoming all-around awareness of Chinese circumstance. Since he know one day he may be one of the necessary man change the economic history in China.   


Secondly, to question than one day have the power to transform, a student without any question to the society may be someone who are indifferent to the prosperity of one's nation or even some guy lacking the courage to change situation of one's homeland. Referred to this question , a man jump into my mind -Gandhi, a ever remembered leader in India's national liberty. When being a student, in England , as a lawyer, while grasping every rule in a lawyer field, he reconsiders the situation in India, he question:" In the legitimate book , equality was something every man deserved, why should my country ruled by others." For changing the milieu, he returned, abandoning the prestige and the treasure he may have to be a lawyer, conducted the campaign with the claim of  "no violence". After all, it is the liberal mind inculcated in India won at last.   


However ,admittedly , over extravagate focusing a nation's drawback may lead the violence and deviant activity and even the chaos of one's country. Recently , there is a campaign in Chile, in April the 22 ,made by the students for the accusing the government for the raising tuition. While the result is the students throw out piles of the bomb made by the gasoline to the soldiers , at the same time , tear gases were given out by the police. While no evidence showing there are someone wounded. But the horror incurred by it just can not scratch out immediately.
  
In sum, our government should undoubtedly accept the principle to give freedom to the student, discussing the current situation in the international world or in one's country or even the foibles. However, over evaluating this power may lead to the distressed outcome .A intelligent country should understand when to restrain and when to extend.

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

------题目------
Education encourages students to question and criticize, and therefore does little to promote social harmony.
------正文------
"Could our family planning policy banned one day then the parents deserved regain the right to have an extra baby? Could our farmers one day obtain the same status and financial support from the government, could the fierce corruption in china one day could be abandoned?" These are questions from the(?) students in China. At the same time," Should our children sitting in the(?) school without fear to be shot at next second? Should the aged one day gain the deserving affection and care from their offspring? " asked from the American students. However(这里转折不太对吧？后一句的前半部分应该是深化上面的提问撒！), an aptly question or criticize有问题 may operate as a catalyst to fuel our society further to develop, whereas , an unreasoning criticize may lead to the chaos to a society改.

First, a student with profound knowledge of one's country, when engaging into the society, question or criticize seem to be inevitable, which may flow from the preparation for students future career and the wise judgment to the status quo situation. For further supporting, herein lies two good case, first, in China, there is a man admired and revere by the whole country or even the international world -who is the prime minister, ZhouEnlai. Born in the environment when China was charged by other foreign countries , there are disasters everywhere. Starvation and death kill people's dream of obtaining an ordinary life. When in primary school, ZhouEnlai wrote one sentence in his book" for the reconstruction of China one day, reading , writing and assimilating everything as I can ."（看见没：这个例子的这么多文字都在做铺垫！）Inspired by this spiritual power, he often ask question in class and discuss the current situation with the teacher. Eventually, he became someone reform China a lot, bringing a new age of booming（只有这一句话好像是在扣题分析哦！）. Another case also came from China , as it is known to all, entering the WTO will lead countless development to China ,while in the negotiation between with the WTO official, there exists a brilliant diplomat-Longyongtu. In the university , Long engaged himself in English and the international economic, question and criticize with his classmates ,thus mastering the numerous documents and becoming all-around awareness of Chinese circumstance. Since he know one day he may be one of the necessary man change the economic history in China.   这一段给人堆例子的感觉。主要是分析语言太少！看得出，你是想说像周总理和龙永图这样的人在学生时代的question和criticize习惯是他们后来做出社会卓越贡献的源泉。但是，你并没有着力论述“批判质疑”与“社会贡献及成就”的关系，而这正是论述的关键啊！这样写，从逻辑上讲好像拿不到高分哦！

Secondly, to question than one day have the power to transform（没懂?）, a student without any question to the society may be someone who are indifferent to the prosperity of one's nation or even some guy（这种词最好不要用哦！） lacking the courage to change situation of one's homeland. Referred to this question , a man jump into my mind -Gandhi, a ever remembered leader in India's national liberty (又是这种铺垫式的语言，有凑字数之嫌！). When being a student, in England , as a lawyer, while grasping every rule in a lawyer field, he reconsiders the situation in India, （he question:" In the legitimate book , equality was something every man deserved, why should my country ruled by others."）要的就是这个呀！但你后面就草草的after all了！ For changing the milieu, he returned, abandoning the prestige and the treasure he may have to be a lawyer, conducted the campaign with the claim of  "no violence". After all, it is the liberal mind inculcated in India won at last.   顺便说一下，Mahatma Gandhi从英国毕业后到南非从事律师工作，渐渐开始出名，后来名气传到India，再后来他才放弃律师的社会地位和收入回国从事运动。你这里的分析似乎该着眼于教育赋予的“思辨精神”如何使Gandhi走上后来的独立运动的。


However ,admittedly , over extravagate focusing a nation's drawback may lead the violence and deviant activity and even the chaos of one's country. Recently , there is a campaign in Chile, in April the 22 ,made by the students for the accusing the government for the raising tuition. While the result is the students throw out piles of the bomb made by the gasoline to the soldiers , at the same time , tear gases were given out by the police. While no evidence showing there are someone wounded. But the horror incurred by it just can not scratch out immediately.（看见没：你举例子真的是“例子”！不是“例证”！跟讲故事和读课本没有区别。关键是“分析”啊！）
  
In sum, our government should undoubtedly accept the principle to give freedom to the student, discussing the current situation in the international world or in one's country or even the foibles. However, over evaluating this power may lead to the distressed outcome .A intelligent country should understand when to restrain and when to extend.

你的开头挺吸引人的，但从你提出论点开始，逻辑就不力了！建议你把你的Position和各段的TS拧出来仔细分析一下内在的逻辑关系。拍得有点狠！不要生气！

题目说：教育鼓励学生“质疑和批判”，所以不利于社会的和谐。

教育都能鼓励学生的批判精神吗？封建社会的私塾教育（范进、孔乙己、八股文）行吗？,日本侵略时的奴化教育行吗？民主社会的现代教育行吗？

即使教育能鼓励学生批判，就会导致社会不和谐吗？这里的和谐指什么？指自由、平等、民主、富强？如果是这样的话，具有批判精神、独立思考能力的学生恰恰是“和谐”的捍卫者而不是破坏者！毕竟独立思考才是民主的保障。

学生的批判精神是非民主社会的破坏者！只有打破才会推动社会走向真正的和谐啊！前不久伊朗的学生运动就是很好的例子嘛！而且很对老美的胃口。

好了，说了这么多希望对你有帮助哦! PS：我是重庆崽儿！

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

"学生的批判精神是非民主社会的破坏者！只有打破才会推动社会走向真正的和谐啊！前不久伊朗的学生运动就是很好的例子嘛！
"赞一个！