argument147 (459个字) 谢谢大家了！

智恩UID：2160717

题目：Argument147（2005年2-9月总频47次）
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

提纲：1 调查值得怀疑。
         2 即使调查可信，10到25岁的人也不一定有up－to－date电脑。
         3 就算推出的lifelike graphics video-game, 人们也不一定会买。

This argument reaches a conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate this conclusion, the author cites a survey showing that video-game players think the most important feature in a video game is lifelike graphics. Moreover the Whirlwind has just introduced several such games to attract people of 10 to 25 years old. I find this argument is logically flawed in a number of respects.

In the first place, the author cites a survey which lack of credibility and validity. The author fails to claim the definite number of people participating in this survey. As we all know, if the size of sample is not sufficient enough, the results of this survey could not be representative to reflect the characteristics of the population from which it is drawn. The survey of video-game players about the most vital factor in video game is unconvincing.

Secondly, even if this survey could be of validity, people of 10 to 25 years old often can not afford the most up-to-date computers. As we know, the most up-to-date computer is of high techniques and therefore expensive. Usually 10 to 25 years old people can not have such efficient computers. Moreover the assumption that 10 to 25 years old people are the most potential video-game buyers lacks of evidence to support.

Last but not the least, it is unfair to show that video games owning characteristic of lifelike graphics could absolutely attract players to buy. The author assumes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically on the mere fact that the Whirlwind video games are lifelike graphics. In fact, other factors such as price could influence the sales. It is entirely possible that this lifelike graphics video game is so expensive that even if players prefer it they could not afford it. What is more there is no evidence to guarantee that other video-game company will not introduce such sorts of products in order to compete with Whirlwind. And no evidence is offered that players will only choose Whirlwind products. Nor does mere fact that Whirlwind introduces lifelike graphics video-game products lend significant support to the author’s conclusion.

To sum up, close scrutiny of this supporting evidence, however reveals that it lends little credible support to the author’s claim. To bolster it the author must provide definite statistics to show how many people participate in this survey and the validity of it. What is more, the author should offer evidence that 10 to 25 years old people are able to have up-to-date computers. To better strengthen this argument I would need to know as long as the Whirlwind introduces such video games people will not hesitate to buy.

写了1个多小时。

[ Last edited by 智恩 on 2005-12-14 at 20:34 ]

kito9695UID：209685

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leedgenUID：160823

This argument reaches a conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate this conclusion, the author cites a survey showing that video-game players think the most important feature in a video game is lifelike graphics. Moreover the Whirlwind has just introduced several such games to attract people of 10 to 25 years old.（这里加入个转折句或词） I find this argument is logically flawed in a number of respects.

In the first place, the author cites a survey which lack of credibility and validity. The author fails to claim the definite number of people participating in this survey. As we all know, if the size of sample is not sufficient enough, the results of this survey could not be representative to reflect the characteristics of the population from which it is drawn. The survey of video-game players about the most vital factor in video game is unconvincing.嚯嚯，看来模板有点用滥了，我也参考了这个写法，ets对这种会怎么判啊？
Secondly, even if this survey could be of validity, people of 10 to 25 years old often can not afford the most up-to-date computers. As we know, the most up-to-date computer is of high techniques and therefore expensive. Usually 10 to 25 years old people can not have such efficient computers. Moreover the assumption that 10 to 25 years old people are the most potential video-game buyers lacks of evidence to support. 有点太简单了，而且是一句话颠来倒去写，能在深入一点就好了
Last but not the least, it is unfair to show that video games owning characteristic of lifelike graphics could absolutely attract players to buy. The author assumes that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically on the mere fact that the Whirlwind video games are lifelike graphics. In fact, other factors such as price could influence the sales. It is entirely possible that this lifelike graphics video game is so expensive that even if players prefer it they could not afford it. What is more there is no evidence to guarantee that other video-game company will not introduce such sorts of products in order to compete with Whirlwind. And no evidence is offered that players will only choose Whirlwind products. Nor does mere fact that Whirlwind introduces lifelike graphics video-game products lend significant support to the author’s conclusion.这句话说了一半？还是仅仅用了倒装？不明白，呵呵
To sum up, close scrutiny of this supporting evidence, however reveals that it lends little credible support to the author’s claim. To bolster it the author must provide definite statistics to show how many people participate in this survey and (prove) the validity of it. What is more, the author should offer evidence that 10 to 25 years old people are able to have up-to-date computers. To better strengthen this argument I would need to know as long as the Whirlwind introduces such video games people will not hesitate to buy

提纲和我的差不多，呵呵