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[i习作temp] Issue83 进来看的都会有礼物,For sure :)考前在GTER上最后一篇! [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-4-10 13:15:33 |显示全部楼层
昨天晚上电脑崩溃,写的所有issue提纲变成了不能恢复的乱码……今天我的伙伴们都上考场了,应该已经顺利结束考试,祝他们: evilghost, xianshu, dianazhu, Victoria_yu 和 bella 能取得好成绩!:)

现在来说各位朋友的礼物:lol 这是我最后一篇习作了,问题漏洞自然不少,所以恳请大家提意见: 不用全文修改,只要指出1)3处可以更好的替换的用词 或者 2)一个经过你修改后更好的句子 或者 3)对全文论证的一个建议,请具体到哪里应该写什么哪里不应该写什么 同时又 不和前面回复的同学重复, 那么,在明天我结束考试后,会帮你全文修改一篇习作( 请将连接置于本帖内)嘿嘿,礼不大,却情真意切!

截至时间:今日 2006-4-10 晚23:30。
先谢谢乐意帮忙的各位朋友啦!

TOPIC: ISSUE 83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
WORDS: 711          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-4-10

Conflicts between prolonging human existence and solving current societal problem lie in governmental issues consistently. In order to keep biological diversity and natural balance, it places emphasis on environmental preservation which includes issues on wilderness areas. Insofar as protecting such areas permits a more comfortable survival of offspring I concede the necessity of preservation. However, when the nation is short of economical and political self-sufficient ability and current issues abound in number, government would set higher priority to at hand problems.

Preservation of wilderness areas conducted by government assures an effective method of providing descendants access to comfortable prospective nature system. Creatures, directly or indirectly instrumental for people, suffered from an escalated scale of extinction as a result of human industrialization. Moreover, along with rapidly accruing population, startling developing technologies and, perhaps most important of all, continuously inflating human desire the size and amounts of such areas shrank gravely over periods. Gradually appearing phenomena revealed threats of disastrous consequences tomorrow. Scarcity of plants with photosynthesis mechanism increase CO2 in atmosphere and therefore resulting in global warming trends which molten sea ice to water and has inundated some of the territory, for example. Awareness of some people in the leading position calls for governmental policies that protect environment from being excessively trampled by human behavior. To protect wilderness areas by forces of government is one of the available and effective measures.  Creatures there could afford a free landscape and secure surrounding to grow and rear offspring. Possibly, certain kinds of rare species would be preserved from extinction.

However, a government takes responsibilities not primarily for the moral justice but for well-being of populace and strength of the nation as a whole. Once the protection of such areas require too much economical or personnel support, the priority needs confirmation. Resources of any government are limited, and deficit occurs frequently even if it places little emphasis on such relatively marginal issues. This does not entail eschewing from accountability for destiny of prospective citizens or human beings altogether. It means concern for being responsible for its living residents to guarantee the advent of prospective society. Can a population which suffered and is suffering from mass starvation, unemployment and destructive warfare but focused on symbiosis relationship with other species exist long? In this sense, human needs to be somewhat selfish rather than completely generous at the risk of self sacrificing.

Granted that preservation of wilderness areas validate in allowing biological diversity and better natural environmental situation for our progeny, it is likely that we can not satisfy them in light of the decline in human evolution. Had our predecessors intensively focused in preservation and distributed much more financial budgets to these areas rather than they did exploit Alaska for petroleum, we would not reproduce so many instruments that facilitate us in daily life and communication and make realization of genetic structure in ourselves possible. Such case holds true to whom live after us. Although by concentrating more on technological and economical development harms environment in future, we may have worked out solutions such as cloning disappeared species, recreating adaptable climate and colonizing to other planets. After all, purposes of all policies, no matter protecting the environment or reinforcing economical and technological strength, serve ultimately to the well-being of human.

To an extreme extent, without effective resorts to reduce the birth rate, which means persistent enlarging of population, government may take measures exploiting such areas for residence rather than preserve them originally looking. After all, it would be nonsense to afford others' benefits until we substantiated ourselves. Admittedly, wild animals and plants are there to stay and compete much less than they did, and such behavior robbing their last residence could be regarded as cruel. Yet, we may distinguish which is crueler comparing with depriving the right of survival from our fellow. The nature had performed its principle: the one who adapt less will be eliminated.

In summary, we have moral responsibility to preserve wilderness areas for a brighter future and circumstance for our descendents. However, sometimes government has to lay down such idea in order to avoid jeopardize in domestic crisis. In addition, once needed, to meet the needs for survival of its citizens, the government ought to make alternatives of exploiting rather than preservation.

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-6-26 02:45 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-4-10 18:34:03 |显示全部楼层
:L:L:L:confused: Really confused, 没人看啊?

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发表于 2006-4-10 20:48:30 |显示全部楼层
看过的人其实不少,只是大家都没回复。
我觉得写得挺好的,真的,对自己要有信心!
而且字数好多呀,我从没写到过700:L
bless~~祝你考好!!

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发表于 2006-4-10 22:55:24 |显示全部楼层
谢谢鼓励!:)
进来随便评点两句,您就可以任意要求我改您的一篇大作。还是挺划算吧?怎么没人买帐呢? 其实就是想有点心理安慰,明天一早就去咯。

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发表于 2006-4-10 23:03:38 |显示全部楼层

bless

bless you

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发表于 2006-4-10 23:14:32 |显示全部楼层
TOPIC: ISSUE 83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
WORDS: 711          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-4-10

Conflicts between prolonging human existence and solving current societal problem lie in governmental issues consistently. In order to keep biological diversity and natural balance, it places emphasis on environmental preservation which includes issues on wilderness areas. Insofar as protecting such areas permits a more comfortable survival of offspring I concede the necessity of preservation. However, when the nation is short of economical and political self-sufficient ability and current issues abound in number, government would set higher priority to at hand problems.

Preservation of wilderness areas conducted by government assures an effective method of providing descendants access to comfortable prospective nature system. Creatures, directly or indirectly instrumental for people, suffered from an (加上ever increasingly效果更好)escalated scale of extinction as a result of human industrialization. Moreover, along with rapidly accruing population, startling developing technologies and, perhaps most important of all, continuously inflating human desire the size and amounts of such areas shrank gravely over periods. Gradually appearing phenomena revealed threats of disastrous consequences tomorrow. Scarcity of plants with photosynthesis mechanism increase CO2 in atmosphere and therefore resulting in global warming trends which molten sea ice to water and has inundated some of the territory, for example. Awareness of some people in the leading position calls for governmental policies that protect environment from being excessively trampled by human behavior. To protect wilderness areas by forces of government is one of the available and effective measures.  Creatures there could afford a free landscape and secure surrounding to grow and rear offspring. Possibly, certain kinds of rare species would be preserved from extinction. (谈论人类应该保护自然,但题目让论证even though these areas are often extremely remote, government还应不应该preserve?你好像没有提及这个问题噢。但很好改的! )

However, a government takes responsibilities not primarily for the moral justice but for well-being of populace and strength of the nation as a whole. Once the protection of such areas require too much economical or personnel support, the priority needs confirmation. Resources of any government are limited, and deficit occurs frequently even if it places little emphasis on such relatively marginal issues. This does not entail eschewing from accountability for destiny of prospective citizens or human beings altogether. It means concern for being responsible for its living residents to guarantee the advent of prospective society. Can a population which suffered and is suffering from mass starvation, unemployment and destructive warfare but focused on symbiosis relationship with other species exist long? In this sense, human needs to be somewhat selfish rather than completely generous at the risk of self sacrificing. (转折-保护自然是有前提的,就是在人们保障了基本衣食后)

Granted that preservation of wilderness areas validate in allowing biological diversity and better natural environmental situation for our progeny, it is likely that we can not satisfy them in light of the decline in human evolution. Had our predecessors intensively focused in preservation and distributed much more financial budgets to these areas rather than they did exploit Alaska for petroleum, we would not reproduce so many instruments that facilitate us in daily life and communication and make realization of genetic structure in ourselves possible. Such case holds true to whom live after us. Although by concentrating more on technological and economical development harms environment in future, we may have worked out solutions such as cloning disappeared species, recreating adaptable climate and colonizing to other planets. After all, purposes of all policies, no matter protecting the environment or reinforcing economical and technological strength, serve ultimately to the well-being of human. (中立-两者都对人类有好处)

To an extreme extent, without effective resorts to reduce the birth rate, which means persistent enlarging of population, government may take measures exploiting such areas for residence rather than preserve them originally looking. After all, it would be nonsense(建议改成unrealistic) to afford others' benefits until we substantiated ourselves. Admittedly, wild animals and plants are there to stay and compete much less than they did, and such behavior robbing their last residence could be regarded as cruel. Yet, we may distinguish which is crueler comparing with depriving the right of survival from our fellow. The nature had performed its principle: the one who adapt less will be eliminated. (极端情况:人们应主动开发利用荒地)

In summary, we have moral responsibility to preserve wilderness areas for a brighter future and circumstance for our descendents. However, sometimes government has to lay down such idea in order to avoid jeopardize in domestic crisis. In addition, once needed, to meet the needs for survival of its citizens, the government ought to make alternatives of exploiting rather than preservation

你是不是想得满分作文的?看出来了。嚣张呀,真牛!小妹佩服!这样的文章拿出来让人改岂不是难为人么?怪不得没人给你改!

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发表于 2006-4-10 23:16:37 |显示全部楼层
大哥,等小妹今后有幸去了美国,您一定要罩着我呀!呵呵

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发表于 2006-4-11 11:22:20 |显示全部楼层
谢谢eylvia 的修改啊,今天考完了才看到的,还是很感谢!

今天运气不大好,抽到的 是issue 104,243 关于文明的,恰巧没怎么思考过,唉……
想了半天文明到底是什么东西,最后还是胡扯了很多。

这个文章我自己也觉得论证有问题,很多话罗嗦,冗余,但是确实没时间自己修改了,离满分的距离还远得很……

今天写出来的估计就更差一些了,但愿能满足要求。

Eylvia, 我现在可不敢保证能出国啊,所以罩不罩得到还要看我的造化咯,但是给你改作文是做得到的哈,保证认认真真完成!:)

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发表于 2006-4-11 15:00:55 |显示全部楼层
天街小雨,我好歹大概是可以出去的,要去就去加利福尼亚了,不管考得如何。但我还是有一些紧张不安。

243. "The true value of a civilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in its scientific accomplishments."
104."It is primarily through formal education had a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears."

这个题目确实不怎么好写呀!安慰一下。但总是考完了,对吧!

我一般都可以在规定时间内写完文章,而且在500左右,但不知道真实考试会怎么样。也不知道自己到底写得如何。请你帮我看看好吗?万分感谢!:)

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发表于 2006-4-11 16:22:03 |显示全部楼层
我最长一篇才500多字
而且让我照抄我都不一定等抄完
我后天上考场,自己尽力发挥好就行

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发表于 2007-11-25 19:54:11 |显示全部楼层
要是我就选104

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发表于 2007-11-26 11:19:03 |显示全部楼层
恩,是有礼物,礼物就是受打击了

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发表于 2010-4-24 16:12:52 |显示全部楼层
我来晚了四年,感谢寄托

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RE: Issue83 进来看的都会有礼物,For sure :)考前在GTER上最后一篇! [修改]

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Issue83 进来看的都会有礼物,For sure :)考前在GTER上最后一篇!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-443772-1-1.html
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