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[i习作temp] Issue36 第33篇 冲刺倒数第3篇,欢迎评论! [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-7-24 09:45:13 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
大家发表一点意见,看看大概有几分(所以没有改单词和语法错误)。留链接必回拍!
------题目------
The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.
提纲(写完后加的)
1:有的伟大的成就被后来的人承认
2:也有伟大的成就被同时代的人承认
3:社会发展的加快使得更多的人的成就被同时代发现
------正文------
How to judge one's greatness is always a complex issue, because the achievements of some one are found to be great by who live after them, but some are regarded to be excellent by their contemporaries and time proves that they are right.

Some individuals are so talent that are out of the thoughts and ideas in their societies, and inevitably, few people living in that time accepted their greatness. Most of they are tragedy in their life, and only several decades or even hundreds year after they death, people and experts discovery that how great they are since they see the future of that time. For example, the Confucius's philosophy , which influences China, Korea, even Japan two thousand years, were refused by kings of his time. His thought about peace are totally unsuitable for that time and only after several hundreds years, in Han, his thought were regarded to be the greatest philosophy and prevailed. If the common peaple living in that time not realize one's excellent achievement, no matter in art or philosophy or science, his/her greatness only be decided by the latter people after he/she death.

However, not all the greatness of individuals are be decided by who live after them, since some wonderful discoveries and ideas are accepted by society just after their appearing several years. The development in all aspect of society is so fast that maybe the greatness of individuals are not recognized at one time, he/she would recieve the fame soon. For instance, when the great Theory of Relativity just published by Einstein, even physicists refused to recognize it and some even regarded it as absurd. However, about decade latter, some experiments proved it to be right and even neluear booms came out. Einstein are regarded to be the one of the greatest physicist in history. If one's achievements can be decided by their contemporaries, what should be judged by who live after them again. Nowadays, people and experts, who live after Einstein, also believe that he is excellent, and this is the same as he used to be.

The highly developing in society and in people's thoughts cause that most greatness of individuals can be decided by their time. In the past, thoughts and ideas grown so sollow that only after one's death, the common people realized his/her greatness. But with the growing in society fast, one's achievements can be fully realized to be greatness before his/her death. So, more and more great individuals can recieve their fame they deserved.

All in all, we should respect one's gains, since maybe it is our failure that cannot to realize their greatness. (结尾实在是不但马虎,而且有的偏了)
茂陵酒人如是说......
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发表于 2005-7-24 09:54:16 |只看该作者
How to judge one's greatness is always a complex issue, because the achievements of some one are found to be great by who live after them, but some are regarded to be excellent by their contemporaries and time proves that they are right.

Some individuals are so talent that areis out of the thoughts and ideas in their societies, and inevitably, few people living in that time accepted their greatness. Most of they are tragedy in their life, and only several decades or even hundreds year after they death, people and experts discovery that how great they are since they see the future of that time. For example, the Confucius's philosophy, which influences China, Korea, even Japan two thousand years, was refused by kings of his time. His thought about peace are totally unsuitable for that time and only after several hundreds years, in Han, his thought were regarded to be the greatest philosophy and prevailed. If the common people living in that time not realize one's excellent achievement, no matter in art or philosophy or science, his/her greatness only be decided by the latter people after he/she death.

However, not all the greatness of individuals areis be decided by who live after them, since some wonderful discoveries and ideas are accepted by society just after their appearing several years. The development in all aspect of society is so fast that maybe the greatness of individuals are not recognized at one time, he/she would recievereceive the fame soon. For instance, when the great Theory of Relativity just published by Einstein, even physicists refused to recognize it and some even regarded it as absurd. However, about decade latter, some experiments proved it to be right and even nuclear boomsatom bomb came out. Einstein areis regarded to be the one of the greatest physicist in history. If one's achievements can be decided by their contemporaries, what should be judged by who live after them again?. Nowadays, people and experts, who live after Einstein, also believe that he is excellent, and this is the same as he used to be.

The highly developing in society and in people's thoughts causecauses that most greatness of individuals can be decided by their time. In the past, thoughts and ideas growngrow so slowly that only after one's death, the common people realized his/her greatness. But with the growing in society fast, one's achievements can be fully realized to be greatness before his/her death. So, more and more great individuals can recievereceive their fame they deserved.

All in all, it is not the common people’s responsibility not to find the greatness on some one, which is reason of talent. So, we should respect one's gains, since maybe it is our failure that we can not realize their greatness.
稍微改了一下

[ Last edited by tangent on 2005-7-24 at 10:00 ]
茂陵酒人如是说......

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板凳
发表于 2005-7-24 22:05:21 |只看该作者
How to judge one's greatness is always a complex issue, because the achievements of some one(someone) are found to be great by who live after them, but some are regarded to be excellent by their contemporaries and time proves that they are right.

Some individuals are so talent that areis out of the thoughts and ideas in their societies, and inevitably, few people living in that time accepted their greatness. Most of they are tragedy in their life, and only several decades or even hundreds year(years) after they death, people and experts discovery(discover) that(删除that) how great they are since they see the future of that time. For example, the Confucius's philosophy, which influences China, Korea, even Japan two thousand years, was refused by kings of his time. His thought about peace are totally unsuitable for that time and only after several hundreds years, in Han, his thought were regarded to be the greatest philosophy and prevailed. If the common people living in that time (增加do)not realize one's excellent achievement, no matter in art or philosophy or science, his/her greatness only (can)be decided by the latter people after he/she(his/her) death.

However, not all the greatness of individuals areis be(删除be) decided by who live after them, since some wonderful discoveries and ideas are accepted by society just after their appearing several years. The development in all aspect of society is so fast that maybe the greatness of individuals are not recognized at one time, he/she would recievereceive the fame soon. For instance, when the great Theory of Relativity just published by Einstein, even physicists refused to recognize it and some even regarded it as absurd. However, about decade latter, some experiments proved it to be right and even nuclear boomsatom bomb came out. Einstein areis regarded to be the one of the greatest physicist in history. If one's achievements can be decided by their contemporaries, what should be judged by who live after them again?. Nowadays, people and experts, who live after Einstein, also believe that he is excellent, and this is the same as he used to be.

The highly developing(development) in society and in people's thoughts causecauses that most greatness of individuals can be decided by their time. In the past, thoughts and ideas growngrow so slowly that only after one's death, the common people realized his/her greatness. But with the growing in society fast(这句话有问题), one's achievements can be fully realized to be greatness before his/her death. So, more and more great individuals can recievereceive their fame they deserved.

All in all, it is not the common people’s responsibility not to find the greatness on some one, which is reason of talent. So, we should respect one's gains, since maybe it is our failure that we can not realize their greatness.

Ps:两个例证都还不错,不过第二个论证感觉有点不大清晰。还有第四段中的一些语言有点过于中国化。加油!
RP~~

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地板
发表于 2005-7-25 15:22:11 |只看该作者
------正文------
How to judge one's greatness is always a complex issue, because the achievements of some one are found to be great by who live after them, but some are regarded to be excellent by their contemporaries and time proves that they are right.(建议可以先说被同时代的认可,再说被后人接受,因为,被同时代的人认即被承认其greatness,但并非所有都是这样,有些人只有在passed away很久以后才能被证明greatness,这样就呼应了第一句所说的是一个complex issue)

Some individuals are so talent that are out of the thoughts and ideas in their societies, and inevitably, few people living in that time accepted their greatness. Most of they (them) are tragedy in their life, and only several decades or even hundreds years after they (their) death, people and experts discovery that how great they are since they see the future of that time. For example, the Confucius's philosophy , which influences China, Korea, even Japan two thousand years ago, were refused by kings of his time. His thought about peace are totally unsuitable for that time and only after several hundreds years, in Han, his thought were regarded to be the greatest philosophy and prevailed. If the common people living in that time not realize one's excellent achievement, no matter in art or philosophy or science, his/her greatness only be decided by the latter people after he/she (his) death.这段的例子陈述得不是很确切,特别是这句话:were refused by kings of his time,我也说不清,好像就因为这句怀疑你对这个的了解程度,愚见啊~~

However, not all the greatness of individuals are (is) being decided by who live after them, since some wonderful discoveries and ideas are accepted by society just after their appearing several years. The development in all aspect of society is so fast that maybe the greatness of individuals are (is) not recognized at one time, he/she would recieve the fame soon. For instance, when the great Theory of Relativity just published by Einstein, even physicists refused to recognize it and some even regarded it as absurd. However, about a decade latter, some experiments proved it to be right and even atom bomb came out. Einstein are regarded to be the one of the greatest physicist in history. If one's achievements can be decided by their contemporaries, what should be judged by who live after them again. Nowadays, people and experts, who live after Einstein, also believe that he is excellent, and this is the same as he used to be.这段写得就好多了

The highly developing in society and in people's thoughts cause that most greatness of individuals can be decided by their time. In the past, thoughts and ideas grown so sollow 不懂that only after one's death, the common people realized his/her greatness. But with the growing in society fast 这句还得斟酌, one's achievements can be fully realized to be greatness before his/her death. So, more and more great individuals can recieve their fame they deserved.这一段如果有时间的话可以举nobel prize的例子,因为大多数获奖科学家都是当代人

All in all, it is not the common people’s responsibility not to find the greatness on some one, which is reason of talent. So, we should respect one's gains, since maybe it is our failure that we can not realize their greatness.

条理很清晰,论证方面的说理也加强了,挺好的
只是要注意,尽量不要因为限时的缘故而忽略语句的结构
加油啊,对自己要有信心
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RE: Issue36 第33篇 冲刺倒数第3篇,欢迎评论! [修改]

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Issue36 第33篇 冲刺倒数第3篇,欢迎评论!
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