issue83 infinity小组第四次作业

sweet_fruitUID: 2190845

I agree with the speaker that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural sate, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people. The wilderness area shapes growth of the nation and the character of its people because they will never exist if human destroyed them for modernization proposes. And the wilderness areas may contain values of outstanding natural, cultural universal and outdoor recreation. Thus, wilderness area should be protected to allow natural ecological processes to operate freely. .

To begin with, wilderness areas are outstanding examples for recording the earth evolution. They provide details and examples to archaeologists to do research and exploit the secrets of the earth. The rocks record periods of the geological features of their areas. Some areas contain a wide variety of vegetation including closed forest, open forests, etc. Also, they are good habitats for many species both animals and plants because of its diversity of its vegetation,(这句没怎么看懂是不是少词了) which provide good evidence to show how the ecological evolution of this area. Then these collections enrich our biology and geology text books for our students.

Moreover, wilderness areas play a vital role in studying national culture. For instance, Tasmanian area, the Wilderness World Heritage, record the history of both Aboriginal tradition and European settlement. It is one of only three temperate wilderness area(areas) remaining the southern hemisphere Archaeologists find caves and Aboriginal sites which have exceptional cultural, emotional and spiritual value. It illustrates significant stages in human history.
Finally,wilderness areas are outdoor attraction for people living in cities. For example, the wilderness area, located south of Rocky Mountain National Park, which contains impressive peaks, beautiful alpine lakes, and peaceful meadows, are popular among people who are tired of the crowded and busy city life .It gives people fresh air and spacious circumstance. Wilderness area is the only places which let people get in touch with the real nature.(这句主谓单复数不一致)
One more thing I would like to explain is that some people may be narrow foresee the valuable resources of wilderness areas. They think the areas should be better used for modern proposes because of increasing population and growing mechanization. Wilderness areas are not only the resources of people in present, but they are also resources for our future generation. Every thing we do should consider their profit.(their是不是指什么呢?) At present, in the United States, over 100 million acre wilderness areas have been set aside under the Wilderness Preservation System.(这句和上面联系不紧密应该有些过渡吧,说完之后是不是有些总结性的话更好呢)

Simply put, wilderness areas are outstanding examples of the nature, and culture .  Some countries have legislated for preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state. Protecting them is human's responsibility both for us and future generations.

总的来说,文章思路比较清晰,举例也很新颖,但是有些句子我个人觉得不是特别通顺.
加油!:victory:

sealfunsUID: 2179092

I agree with the speaker that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural sate, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people. The wilderness area shapes growth of the nation and the character of its people because they will never exist if human destroyed them for modernization proposes. And the wilderness areas may contain values of outstanding natural, cultural universal and outdoor recreation. Thus, wilderness area should be protected to allow natural ecological processes to operate freely. .

To begin with, wilderness areas are outstanding examples for recording the earth evolution. They provide details and examples to archaeologists to do research and exploit the secrets of the earth. The rocks record periods of the geological features of their areas. Some areas contain a wide variety of vegetation including closed forest, open forests, etc. Also, they are good habitats for many species both animals and plants because of its diversity of its vegetation, which provide good evidence to show how the ecological evolution of this area. Then these collections enrich our biology and geology (content of)text books for our students.

Moreover, wilderness areas play a vital role in studying national culture. For instance, Tasmanian area, the Wilderness World Heritage, record the history of both Aboriginal tradition and European settlement. It is one of only three temperate wilderness area remaining(remained in) the southern hemisphere(in which) Archaeologists find caves and Aboriginal sites which have exceptional cultural, emotional and spiritual value. It illustrates significant stages in human history.
Finally,wilderness areas are outdoor attraction for people living in cities. For example, the wilderness area, located south of Rocky Mountain National Park, which contains impressive peaks, beautiful alpine lakes, and peaceful meadows, are popular among people who are tired of the crowded and busy city life .It gives people fresh air and spacious circumstance. Wilderness area is the only places(前后单复数不统一） which let people get in touch with the real nature.
One more thing I would like to explain is that some people may be（too） narrow（to） foresee the valuable resources of wilderness areas. They think the areas should be better used for modern proposes because of increasing population and growing mechanization. Wilderness areas are not only the resources of people in present, but they are also resources for our future generation. Every thing we do should consider their profit. At present, in the United States, over 100 million acre wilderness areas have been set aside under the Wilderness Preservation System.

Simply put, wilderness areas are outstanding examples of the nature,（不要逗号） and culture .  Some countries have legislated for preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state. Protecting them is human's responsibility both for us and future generations.

感觉这篇文章的优点在于扣题比较紧，论证时论据比较多，也比较适合。
要说缺点或者不足的话，个人觉得，因为关于环境保护之类的话题我个人比价熟悉，所以其实可以缩小论证范围，加深论证深度，这样可能更讨好阅卷官。

pluckfUID: 2172756

issue83 infinity小组第四次作业

Issue83: "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
结论型论证:
1,同意题目观点，并解释保护野生环境原因: 自然，文化，娱乐
2，解释从自然角度，解释，研究地理地形，保护濒危物种等作用
3，文化角度：人类进化的历史
4，有些野生公园是人们休闲娱乐的方式
5，如果不保护，人类短视，子孙后代将没有这么好的资源。

I agree with the speaker that government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural sate, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people. The wilderness area shapes growth of the nation and the character of its people because they will never exist if human destroyed them for modernization proposes. And the wilderness areas may contain values of outstanding natural, cultural universal and outdoor recreation. Thus, wilderness area should be protected to allow natural ecological processes to operate freely. .

To begin with, wilderness areas are outstanding examples for recording the earth evolution. They provide details and examples to archaeologists to do research and exploit the secrets of the earth. The rocks record periods of the geological features of their areas. Some areas contain a wide variety of vegetation including closed forest, open forests, etc. Also, they[they 指代什么？] are good habitats[good habitats?知道你说什么，最好换一个书面形容词吧]both animals and plants because of its diversity of its vegetation, which provide good evidence to show how the ecological evolution of this area. Then these collections enrich our biology and geology text books for our students.[还可以参考一下G的阅读]，wilderness areas play a vital role in studying national culture. For instance, Tasmanian area, the Wilderness World Heritage, record the history of both Aboriginal tradition and European settlement. It is one of only three temperate wilderness area remaining the southern hemisphere Archaeologists find caves and Aboriginal sites which have exceptional cultural, emotional and spiritual value. It illustrates significant stages in human history.

Finally, wilderness areas are outdoor attraction for people living in cities. For example, the wilderness area, located south of Rocky Mountain National Park, which contains impressive peaks, beautiful alpine lakes, and peaceful meadows, are[is?] popular among people who are tired of the crowded and busy city life[lives?] .It gives people fresh air and spacious circumstance[spacious circumstance?]. Wilderness area is the only places[is +only? Places?+let?] which let people get in touch with the real nature.
One more thing I would like to explain is that some people may be narrow foresee the valuable resources of wilderness areas. They think the areas should be better used for modern proposes because of increasing population and growing mechanization. Wilderness areas are not only the resources of people in present, but they are also resources for our future generation. Every thing we do should consider their profit[every thing + their+profits? Profit 查字典了是有负数形式的而且没有其它的单数形式的用法，如果主语是复数] . At present, in the United States, over 100 million acre wilderness areas have been set aside under the Wilderness Preservation System.

Simply put, wilderness areas are outstanding examples[前面两个词不是恰到好处吧] of the nature, and culture .  Some countries have legislated for preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state. Protecting them is human's responsibility both for us and future generations[responsibility也给你查了是复数，后面写的是BOTH FOR US AND GENERATIONS ,前面也应当是复数吧].
你是从前一句出发写的文章， 没有考虑后面的EVENTHOUGH 的让步， 对于文章的段落及TS我不是很明白，也不知道是要面面具到还是抓住半句来写， 所以我写的文章都被大家说的没重点，因为就是面面具到，每一句都写一段，而且这样就是没有只写一句写的深入而且展开！你写的就很深入与展开，比如说对文化有贡献，我只说了一句，你又举了N 多例子，感觉很深入！ 还有文章中又单复数的问题好多要注意一下吧，其实我写也是那样， 只不过是看别人的文章不太把握的就去查字典！

[ 本帖最后由 pluckf 于 2006-6-29 09:52 编辑 ]

mayaUID: 199038

已改，请查看附件