进军美利坚作文组 by 左岸

Amber0926UID: 2555355

10.28 The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity. Do you agree or disagree?

好久没写作文咯，大家狠批，多指教！快考试了，着急啊。。。
For most of the time, people are always on the ardous journey in seeking for the answer of this question: how could we better protect the limited energy and resources in our world at present? A multitude of people hold the opinion that, the most effective way to conserve the erergy is by soaring the prices of gasoline and electricity. Contrary to the idea of this people, is my heartfelt objection to this viewpoint, because this manner is just control the appearent problem and it hard to eradicate the deeply problem.
Firstly, with the development of scioety ,people live better and better life than before, because they get higher salaries and much more substance materials. That means people have enough economic strengh to afford the price of gasoline and electrivity. If they have bought the automobile and other useful equipments to serve for them, for they all supply convenient function in people's daily life, people would not willing to never use them, just because the prices of this items is increasing. As we known, when people have sufficent money to afford those expensive equipments, they definitely do not care the use fees. In short, because the equipments which use gasoline or electricity can bring benefit and convenience to people' lives, even though the price of them increase, people would still afford them.

Secondly, it goes without saying that if we want to eradicate the energy emergency, the development of new sustainable energy or alternative energy is the best way. Because such as the gasoline which is non-renewable energy, virtually, if we only limited protection of energy by raising price, it is better to develop new resources. Because the non-rewable resources be used less and less and people forced to utilize them to satisfy the daily needs, energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity is unwise. For example, in summer, if  the price of electrity is soaring ,whether we would stop to use the air-condition? I think most of people’s choice is that enjoy this cool machine continuelly! So, maybe someday human invent certain machine which is not depends on electrity and utilize other environment-friendly energy sources and in this situation, the energy problem would be finally solved. The conservation of energy could efficiently realize. In conclusion, the best way to encourage energy conservation is look for sustainable energy sources, not by increasing prices of energy!

Based on all the previous statement, we could safely draw a conclusion that increasing energy prices are not realistic and practical approach and we had better to change people’s consumption habits and look for new energy sources to replace.

ice--breakerUID: 2717367

1# Amber0926 文章条理还是很清楚，句式具有多样性，但是感觉有时句子的多样性不是那么合理。整体还是很不错咯，经典句式用的挺多的。既然你都要参加考试了，写完作文后还是要有检查的好习惯哦，有些拼写错误和基本冠词错误。
有几处用and 前面没断句吧。有些中文表达不是很地道，大家共同的毛病。
For most of the time, people are always on the ardous journey in seeking for the answer of this question: how we could better protect the limited energy and resources in our world at present? A multitude of people hold the opinion that, the most effective way to conserve the erergy is by soaring the prices of gasoline and electricity. Contrary to the idea of this（those）
people, is my heartfelt objection to this viewpoint, because this manner is just control the appearent problem and it （is） hard to eradicate the deeply problem.
1 F( D- f/ X8 K. I; \8 l4 ZFirstly, with the development of scioety ,people live a better and better life than before（与better重复了）, because they get higher salaries and much more substance materials. That means people have enough economic strengh to afford the price of gasoline and electrivity. If they have bought the automobile and other useful equipments to serve for them, for they all supply convenient function in people's daily life,（for后面不能加从句吧，建议改成定语从句） people would fail to use them, just because the prices of this items is increasing.（这句话的意思？是想用疑问句吗？） As we known, people have sufficient money to afford those expensive equipments, so they definitely do not care the use fees（有待考证哈）. In short, because the equipments which use gasoline or electricity can bring benefits and convenience to people' lives, even though the price of them increases, people would still afford them. （这种复杂句式还是要好好调理下结构，感觉头重了点，我建议把even though 放在后面
  V+ h- L: D' x: R6 c
* Y6 Q- _4 k7 O- TSecondly, it goes without saying that if we want to eradicate the energy emergency, the development of new sustainable energy or alternative energy is the best way. Because such as the gasoline which is non-renewable energy, virtually,（不通）
if we only limited protection of energy by raising price, it is better to develop new resources. Because the non-rewable resources be used less and less and people forced to utilize them to satisfy the daily needs, energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity is unwise. For example, in summer, if because the price of electrity is soaring ,whether we would stop to use the air-condition? I think most of people’s choice is that enjoy this cool machine continuelly（有继续的意思？）! Virtually, maybe someday human invent certain machine which is not depends on electrity and utilize other environment-friendly energy sources. In this situation, the energy problem would be finally solved。 The conservation of energy could efficiently realize. In conclusion, the best way to encourage energy conservation is look for sustainable energy sources, not by increasing prices of energy!! a7 }. B5 @' G8 F* ?" |
. ]( ]6 J8 m( \
Based on all the previous statement, we could safely draw a conclusion that increasing energy prices are not a realistic and practical approach and we had better to change people’s consumption habits and look for new energy sources to replace

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

For most of the time, people are always on the ardous journey in seeking for the answer of this question: how could we better protect the limited energy and resources in our world at present? A multitude of people hold the opinion that, the most effective way to conserve the erergy is by soaring the prices of gasoline and electricity. Contrary to the idea of this-these people, is my heartfelt objection to this viewpoint, because this manner is just control the appearent problem and it hard to eradicate the deeply problem.首句不建议写这长的句子

Firstly, with the development of scioety-拼写 ,people live better and (have ) better life than before, because they get higher salaries and much more substance materials.-->with development of sciety, people's living condition is improved due to higher salaries and better necessaries. That means people have enough economic strengh to afford the price of gasoline and electrivity.-->that means people could afford gasoline and electricity with better economic condition even if the price of those energy is rasing. If they have bought the automobile and other useful equipments to serve for them, for they all supply convenient function in people's daily life, people would not willing--would后面是跟willing么...???be 哪里去了.??写完了自己不检查.. to never use them, (would 就是有意愿的意思, 虽然是will的过去式, 后面就不用willing了. )just because the prices of this items is increasing. As we known, when people have sufficent money to afford those expensive equipments, they definitely do not care the use fees..??啥意思. In short, because the equipments which use gasoline or electricity can bring benefit and convenience to people' lives, even though the price of them..?谁啊 increase, people would still afford them. 左啊, 看了2-3遍才明白这句啥意思..people still prefer to buy electric equipments even if the price of electricity goes up, because the equipment can bring convenience in daily life.

ndly, it goes without saying that if we want to eradicate the energy emergency, the development of new sustainable energy or alternative energy is the best way. Because没必要用这个因为. such as the gasoline which is non-renewable energy, virtually,(这里可以跟上句捏在一起, such as gasoline, a non-renewable energy. if we only limited protection of energy by raising price, it is better to develop new resources. Because the non-rewable resources be->are used less and less...>the use of non-renewable resources will be decreased and people forced to utilize them to satisfy the daily needs, energy conservation is by increasing prices of gasoline and electricity is unwise. For example, in summer, if  the price of electrity is soaring ,whether we would stop to use the air-condition? I think most of people’s choice is that enjoy this cool machine continuelly--most people will still choose to enjoy air-conditioner ! So, maybe someday human invent certain machine which is not depends-->depend实意动词是用be来否定么..? on electrity and utilize other environment-friendly energy sources and in this situation, the energy problem would be finally solved. The conservation of energy could efficiently realize. In conclusion, the best way to encourage energy conservation is (to) look for sustainable energy sources, not by increasing prices of energy!

Based on all the previous statement, we could safely draw a conclusion that increasing energy prices are not realistic and practical approach and we had better to change people’s consumption habits and look for new energy sources to replace.

Amber0926UID: 2555355

10.29 Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.
今天写的头晕，花了一小时才写好，写不太会论证！哎~太晚了，也没检查，批改的同学辛苦下。

Most of people involving in daily's stuffs and everyday's work, and a multitude of people feel that facing so many complicated and disorders things, they always fail to find out an effictive approach to salve those problems. so in my opinion, i strongly maintain that it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize, because the modern society has become more complex.



To begin with, we could easily found out a fact that in school, nowadays teachers are usually supply more opportunities to enhace students' plan and organize ability in the class. In fact, students are not only received
acedemic knowledge in school, but learn some useful capacity as well, such as how quite well deal with various assignment and arrange them properly or how to accumulate materials then organizing them serving for their certain essay. Virtually, it is just an inclination training in school, because teachers aware that with the development of society, all kinds of tasks or jobs become more intricate than before, so students should bear some important abilities which could help them adapting to social in the future. While the ability to plan and organize is the pivotal capability they should have, when they lost in chaos of work, they should know how to
plan and organize. In brife, noewadays, young students firstly received a training of ability to plan and organize from school, because most of us understand plan and organize competence play an important role in the future of young people.



Secondly, numerous young people live under the illusion that their original work is just learn more enough knowledge in school and how quite well plan and organize their daily’s task is unnecessary. In fact, seldom can they understand how important the organine ability after all. For instance, my classmate Mary, who is always get high score in every paper-test in our class, however, last semester our literature final examination test us by a report that need collect and organize history materials. Facing do many materials, Mary fails to well plan and organize them, because she usually ignores these kinds of capacity, resulting in the examination did not pass. From this example, young people should give their attention to their organize ability. In that way, they could better prepared for the future work.

In conclusion, modern societ has become more complicated, so the capability of plan and organize is just as a sharp weapon to help young people to succeed in their field and their future.

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10.29 Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.# f; i7 n! u' U+ U
今天写的头晕，花了一小时才写好，写不太会论证！哎~太晚了，也没检查，批改的同学辛苦下。# f/ b+ j3 V: Z. u) T

Most of people involving in daily's stuffs and everyday's work, and a multitude of people feel that facing so many complicated and disorders things, they always fail to find out an effictive approach to salve(solve) those problems. so in my opinion, i(I) strongly maintain that it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize, because the modern society has become more complex.1 q" E8 ~' z, b
9 h  F& T" G' \( M4 o' V
To begin with, we could easily found out a fact that in school, nowadays teachers are usually supply more opportunities to enhace students' plan and organize ability in the class. In fact, students are not only received& C; \, Y0 F+ V1 U8 @/ J4 s- v
acedemic knowledge in school, but (also) learn some useful capacity as well, such as how quite well deal with various assignment and arrange them properly or how to accumulate materials then organizing them serving for their certain essay. Virtually, it is just an inclination training in school, because teachers aware(are aware of,aware 是adj) that with the development of society, all kinds of tasks or jobs become more intricate than before, so students should bear some important abilities which could help them adapting to social(society) in the future. While the ability to plan and organize is the pivotal capability they should have, when they lost in chaos of work, they should know how to& }7 e; ?: _2 o# F
plan and organize. In brife(brief), noewadays(nowadays), young students firstly received a training of ability to plan and organize from school, because most of us understand plan and organize competence play an important role in the future of young people.没看到具体的例子说明。2 L, w" Y3 h$ D! f" v% M2 ~, L/ F

Secondly, numerous young people live under the illusion that their original work is just learn more enough knowledge in school and how quite well plan and organize their daily’s task (daily taskes) is unnecessary(这句话没有看懂，太长了，可以分成两句来讲). In fact, seldom can they understand how important the organine (organized) ability after all. For instance, my classmate Mary, who is always get high score in every paper-test (有没有这样的表达？examination) in our class, however, last semester our literature final examination test us by a report that need collect and organize history materials. Facing do many materials, Mary fails to well plan and organize them, because she usually ignores these kinds of capacity (capacities), resulting in the examination did not pass. From this example, (the) young people should give their attention to their organize ability. In that way, they could better prepared for the future work.

In conclusion, modern societ has become more complicated, so the capability of plan and organize is just as a sharp weapon to help young people to succeed in their field and their future.
总评：字数很多，但词性使用的不是很恰当，有些语法错误，读起来有些chinglish的味道。

zhengping001UID: 2689322

记得帮我回改哦

oceanmasterUID: 2594404

Most of people involve in daily's stuffs and everyday's work, and a multitude of people feel that facing so many complicated and disorders things(句子不完整), they always fail to find out an effictive approach to solve those problems. so in my opinion, (一般而言，在in my opinion后应该直接为观点陈述，不再有i command之类的话)i strongly maintain that it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize, because the modern society has become more complex.  R; @+ f9 u8 Y6 m" I( K) r
( x: {2 ?# _1 F! ?. }3 f

To begin with, we could easily found out the fact that in school, nowadays(放在teacher后更像英文一点) teachers are usually supply(providing) more opportunities to enhace students' plan and organize ability in the class. In fact, students are not only received（为何要用被动？） acedemic knowledge in school, but also learn some useful capacity as well, such as how quite well deal with various assignment and arrange them properly or how to accumulate materials then organizing them serving for their certain essay. Virtually, it is just an inclination training in school, because teachers aware that with the development of society, all kinds of tasks or jobs become more intricate than before, so students should bear some important abilities which could help them adapt (去掉ing) to society in the future. While the ability to plan and organize is the pivotal capability they should have, when they get lost in chaos of work, they should know how to plan and organize. In brife, nowadays, young students firstly received a training of ability to plan and organize from school, because most of us understand plan and organize competence play an important role in the future of young people.
3 b( K: S8 n. U- Z9 l8 U: p/ @0 J" `4 j0 _7 H2 f2 e/ h1 ~+ S5 H
$ s5 u4 n/ b- y5 [  X8 G% W
2 W2 g4 D0 `* f. @1 S: {7 B
Secondly, numerous young people live under the illusion that their original work is just learn more enough knowledge in school and how quite well plan and organize their daily’s task is unnecessary. In fact, seldom can they understand how important the organine ability after all. For instance, my classmate Mary, who is always get high score in every paper-test in our class, however, last semester our literature final examination test us by a report that need collect and organize history materials. Facing do many materials, Mary fails to well plan and organize them, because she usually ignores these kinds of capacity, resulting in the examination did not pass. By this example, young people should give their attention to their organize ability. In that way, they could be better prepared for the future work.# l: P- n1 K; @' I& y, X. H4 X6 y6 F

; `% Y- T6 V. `) z6 @In conclusion, modern societ has become more complicated, so the capability of plan and organize is just as a sharp weapon to help young people to succeed in their field and their future.


首先谢谢你帮我改作文啦~~~
你的这篇文章呐，我觉得主要有两个问题：
1首先 是文章句子有很重的中译英痕迹。很多句子结构是不完整的，而且一些词用得不到位。没有长短句构成的韵律感，而那些比较合英文习惯的、精辟的闪光句一个都没有。
当然，这些要求我也达不到，但是我觉得可以成为我们一起努力的方向。
现阶段，我建议楼主有意识的主意句子的主谓宾结构，一定要和语法。
对于脑子里想用的词，一定要在写完文章之后去查他的固定搭配和用法。仅根据中文意思就把词放上去是不行的，因为很多次都是有细微的含义差别的。乱用的话会很有戏剧效果。
在完成上面两步之后，建议楼主有意识的引入复杂的句子结构（倒装、从句、复句美中至少出现一个），然后尝试着写一些言简意赅的短句，特别是那种能让人似懂非懂的（比如双关）。最后按照长短句搭配的方式合理安排长短句。

2 是文章的内容
首先我觉得2段的内容同一化，我很难看出区别。然后在论证上缺少点明段落主旨的主旨句，文章第二段中前半部分与主题关系不大。

当然，这个问题我也犯了，我的文章中间缺少明确的意含句，让你们两位都觉得读不懂~~今后我也会注意学习用简单明确的主旨句联系文章脉络，帮助rater理解~~~

总之，一起加油吧！！

Amber0926UID: 2555355

10.30 A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation.

今天换种风格写作~但是感觉题目好难写啊。。。。

"If you do not have a best method to earn a lot of money, you would never be able to do any other things which depend on economic power" This was said by the Shares of God, warren Buffelt. Virtually, the devotion of the father of  Hybrid Rice,Yuanlongping, is great. However, he had numerous problems in his research process, for china is lack of enough money to support his research at that certain period. So how important the business research in China, earning enough money to subsidize other department.With the rapid development of society, business play a pivotal role in our world. According the research of the World Food Organization states: nowadays, majority countries have solved starvation problems, while some poor countries want avoid this tough problem and there is only one way that enhance their economic strength. From this words, I know what the center for business research decisive is to a country.

It is always focus on warm and starvation problems, when our country stay in elementary step. So it is reasonable to set up a center for research in agriculture.  "we are in progress now and rush to advanced phase, so now the most significant stuff is promote the economic strength of our country and do some business research center in each province gradually" which is said by our country president in the lastest national congress. We all know that develop the business issues is the base to consummate other departments at present. Because economy and  business’s prosper first is a necessary step to develop one country. We could take a glance at the history: in the 18 th century, the western development in the United States; in the 19 th century, the second industrial revolution in Britain. In fact, all of this is obviously basic for country’s economy. The development of Agriculture is far away those period, for people could eat enough food and worry nothing about creature comforts. In short, it is no doubt that develop a new research center for business is more urgent and wise than a center for research in agriculture.

Based on all the previous statement, we could safely draw a conclusion that we do need a “paradise”with much money to satisfied our various needs. The “heaven”with only sufficient food supplies is always our second choice.

shirley072UID: 2712200

"Ifyou do not have a best method to earn a lot of money, you would never be ableto do any other things which depend on economic power" This was said bythe Shares of God, warren Buffelt. Virtually, the devotion of the fatherof  Hybrid Rice,Yuanlongping, is great. However, he had numerousproblems in his research process, for china is lack of enough money to supporthis research at that certain period. So how important the business researchin China, earning enough money to subsidize other department(这一句没有结构，主谓宾？). With the rapid development of society, businessplay a pivotal role in our world. According the research of the World FoodOrganization states(It is published by the World Food Organization states that): nowadays, majority countries havesolved starvation problems, while some poor countries want avoid this toughproblem and (for them) there is only one way that (to) enhance their economic strength. From this words(?没有查到这样的用法呢), I know what the center for business researchdecisive is to a country(同样是句子结构的问题，不懂这是什么意思).

It(是什么，focus用的是现在时) is always focus on warm and starvation problems, when our country stay in elementary step.So it is reasonable to set up a center for research in agriculture(应该用过去的时态吧？)
. "we are in progress now and rush to advancedphase, so now the most significant stuff is promote the economic strength ofour country and do some business research center in each provincegradually" which is said by our country president in the lastest nationalcongress. We all know that develop the business issues is the base toconsummate other departments at present.
Because economyand  business’s prosper first is a necessary step to develop onecountry(这句话不太通顺). We could take a glance at the history: in the 18
th
century,the western development in the United States; in the 19
th
century,the second industrial revolution in Britain. In fact, all of this is obviouslybasic for country’s economy. The development of Agriculture is far away thoseperiod, for people could eat enough food and worry nothing about creaturecomforts. In short, it is no doubt that develop a new research center forbusiness is more urgent and wise than a center for research in agriculture.

Based onall the previous statement, we could safely draw a conclusion that we do need a“paradise”with much money to satisfied our various needs. The “heaven”with onlysufficient food supplies is always our second choice.

我觉得有一个比较大的问题就是楼主用的句子有时候结构比较混乱，这样就会影响意思的表达。
第一段最开始的两个小例子我觉得米有承接好，读到Mr.Yuan is great的时候我又在想是不是要转到农业上面去了，虽然后面又强调经济的支持。其实我觉得一个例子引入楼主想说的东西就够了，不然的话一定要处理好这个逻辑关系。
还有一个关于论证我只看到一点，所有的引言或者论据都是围绕我们的温饱问题已经解决了，要发展经济。这个我不太确定是不是会稍微有点重复~~
个人意见啦~~~~~

scutgongUID: 2564275

"If you do not have a best method to earn a lot of money, you would never be able to do any other things which depend on economic power" This was said by the Shares of God, warren Buffelt. Virtually, the devotion of the father of  Hybrid Rice,Yuan Longping, is great. However, he had numerous problems in his research process, for china is lack of enough money to support his research at that certain period. So how important the business research in China, earning enough money to subsidize other departments. With the rapid development of society, business play a pivotal role in our world. According the research of the World Food Organization states: nowadays, majority countries have solved starvation problems, while some poor countries want avoid this tough problem and there is only one way that enhance their economic strength. From this words, I know what the center for business research decisive is to a country.

It is always focus on warm and starvation problems, when our country stay in elementary step. So it is reasonable to set up a center for research in agriculture.  "we are in progress now and rush to advanced phase, so now the most significant stuff is promote the economic strength of our country and do some business research center in each province gradually" which is said by our country president in the latest national congress. We all know that developing the business issues is the base to consummate other departments at present. Because economy and  business’s prosper first is a necessary step to develop one country. We could take a glance at the history: in the 18th century, the western development in the United States; in the 19th century, the second industrial revolution in Britain. In fact, all of this is obviously basic for country’s economy. The development of Agriculture is far away those period, for people could eat enough food and worry nothing about creature comforts. In short, it is no doubt that develop a new research center for business is more urgent and wise than a center for research in agriculture.

Based on all the previous statement, we could safely draw a conclusion that we do need a “paradise” with much money to satisfied our various needs. The “heaven” with only sufficient food supplies is always our second choice.

我觉得作文的文底很不错，然后能在短期内获得大量的信息，说明作者的思维很活跃。
但是和上楼的观点一致，这个文章我需要多遍才清楚作者要表达的观点，正如作者所说的“换种风格”。但是，有时候这样会引起一些混乱和结构的不清晰。
个人意见。。。

scutgongUID: 2564275

"If you do not have a best method to earn a lot of money, you would never be able to do any other things which depend on economic power" This was said by the Shares of God, warren Buffelt. Virtually, the devotion of the father of  Hybrid Rice,Yuan Longping, is great. However, he had numerous problems in his research process, for china is lack of enough money to support his research at that certain period. So how important the business research in China, earning enough money to subsidize other departments. With the rapid development of society, business play a pivotal role in our world. According the research of the World Food Organization states: nowadays, majority countries have solved starvation problems, while some poor countries want avoid this tough problem and there is only one way that enhance their economic strength. From this words, I know what the center for business research decisive is to a country.

It is always focus on warm and starvation problems, when our country stay in elementary step. So it is reasonable to set up a center for research in agriculture.  "we are in progress now and rush to advanced phase, so now the most significant stuff is promote the economic strength of our country and do some business research center in each province gradually" which is said by our country president in the latest national congress. We all know that developing the business issues is the base to consummate other departments at present. Because economy and  business’s prosper first is a necessary step to develop one country. We could take a glance at the history: in the 18th century, the western development in the United States; in the 19th century, the second industrial revolution in Britain. In fact, all of this is obviously basic for country’s economy. The development of Agriculture is far away those period, for people could eat enough food and worry nothing about creature comforts. In short, it is no doubt that develop a new research center for business is more urgent and wise than a center for research in agriculture.

Based on all the previous statement, we could safely draw a conclusion that we do need a “paradise” with much money to satisfied our various needs. The “heaven” with only sufficient food supplies is always our second choice.

我觉得作文的文底很不错，然后能在短期内获得大量的信息，说明作者的思维很活跃。
但是和上楼的观点一致，这个文章我需要多遍才清楚作者要表达的观点，正如作者所说的“换种风格”。但是，有时候这样会引起一些混乱和结构的不清晰。
个人意见。。。

Amber0926UID: 2555355

听力太快记不下要点啊，一会再看看script。修改的同学辛苦下。
今天所有网页都打不开。。。。好不容易传上作业了

Toefl120（11.10） 综合写作6
In the lecture, the speaker argues that the transition from the cottage industry to the factory industry just because to save cost and to establish the legal protection is unreasonable. she costs doubt on what the passage indicate.

Firstly, the advanced technology would not promote the transition.  Because the industry major benefits are from works. The more workers they hire, the more profits they would enjoy. Virtually, it is just employees boost the productivity, which directly contradicts what the passage states that advanced technology force the cotton production shifting to factory industry.

Secondly, the passage points out that the stronger legal protection would lead to cottage production is gradually replaced. On the contrary, in the 17th century, many legal system have been established in different places of Europe. So it does not necessary to drive out the cottage industry.

Finally, even though the factory industry save a lot of money on transportation, they have to spend much on exploring land, setting up buildings or hiring supervisors. In that way, the factory production costs become higher than before.  This is another part where listening contradicts the reading.

Amber0926UID: 2555355

11.12 people are happier when they finish a challenge or difficult job than when they do an easy job.





Most of people involving in deal with daily stuffs, such as washing clothes, cooking for themselves and even conquering a complicated mathematics problem. Consequently, which kind of job could give you much more excitement and sense of satisfaction? I am fully convince that a challenge job would bring much more happiness and merriment to people.

Firstly, the internal factors influence people's behaviors and ideas. In another word, the instinct of people urge them to chase the sense of accomplishment, from which some difficult jobs are be solved.
A general student, who devoted himself to find out database and materials, succeed in fulfill a complex research report. The student would fell so happier to achieve this assignment than complete daily's homework It means that people always curious for difficult task and have an inborn impetus to conquer it. So when they accomplish those hard work, they fell happy instead of they do a common job.

Secondly, there are times, the external considerations effect people to pursue the special and arduous work, to get the fortune. Because it would help them accumulate useful experience and make all the jobs efficiently. It's kind of like a paradox, virtually, facing the difficult task is just the path to help them better solve any problems. For example, numerous successful businessmen are mange to dominate their areas. In fact, fierce competition and the tiresome complex problems are always surrounding them. All of this exterior factors are spurred them possess the capacity of deal with difficulty. So they are quite competent handling some little affairs with former experiences gather, thus, they manage to an easy job for granted. In a word, it helpful for them to do challenge job on account of obtain useful experiences , so they are happier to do a hard job than deal with an easy one.

Based on all the two factors previously stated, I could draw a safely conclusion that: finish a difficult job is a bonanza to people, because they could acquire more sense of accomplishment and get more useful experiences.

fish1044UID: 2190500

Most of people(people) involving(involved) in deal(dealing) with daily stuffs, such as washing clothes, cooking for themselves and even conquering a complicated mathematics problem(你involved用成involving，所以这句话没有谓语，要注意哦). Consequently(but, consequently表示一个原因导致的结果，用在这好像不合适), which kind of jobs could give you much more excitement and sense of satisfaction? I am fully convinced that a challenge(challenging) job would bring much more happiness and merriment to people.

Firstly, the internal factors influence people's behaviors and ideas. In another word, the instinct of people urge them to chase the sense of accomplishment, from which some difficult jobs are be(are) solved. A general student, who devoted himself to find out database and materials(找数据库和材料？这样写有问题。我觉得应该写成find out useful information from database...), succeed in fulfill a complex research report. The student would fell so happier to achieve this assignment than complete daily's(daily) homework It means that people always curious for difficult task and have an inborn impetus to conquer it. So when they accomplish those hard work, they fell happy instead of they do a common job(they feel happier than doing a common job).

Secondly, there are times, the external considerations effect people to pursue the special and arduous work, to get the fortune. Because it would help them accumulate useful experience and make all the jobs efficiently. It's kind of like a paradox, virtually, facing the difficult task is just the path to help them better solve any(other) problems. For example, numerous successful businessmen are mange(manage) to dominate their areas. In fact, fierce competition and the tiresome complex problems are always surrounding them. All of this exterior factors are spurred(spuring) them possess the capacity of deal(dealing) with difficulty. So they are quite competent handling some little affairs with former experiences gather(gathered), thus, they manage to an easy job for granted(这个没看懂). In a word, it is helpful for them to do challenge job on account of obtain(obtaining) useful experiences , so they are happier to do a hard job than deal with an easy one. / r/ G3 l1 x9 v1 r2 ^* s


Based on all the two factors previously stated, I could draw a safely(safely draw) conclusion that: finish a difficult job is a bonanza to people, because they could acquire more sense of accomplishment and get more useful experiences.

文章还不错，但是还是要注意一下以下问题：
1. 开头句语法错误过多，这样文章给人印象不好。
2. 我觉得你有点分不清动词和动名词，经常搞错。
3. 文章总体逻辑还是很清楚，但是主体段落的思路不是很清晰，至少我没有跟上。。。

还有一周就考了，多注意一下细节，问题不大，加油。