12.4独立写作

shiwei83UID: 2680950

    Nowadays, some may hold the opinion that people profit more from domestic trip than foreign trip. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, I agree that people may gain more from foreign than from domestic trip. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
   
    To begin with, I concede that people travelling in their own country may save money-contrast to travel abroad, it maybe can save 50 percent money. They can also free from worry, not to face unfamiliar with the place and the people plus language obstacle.But from another point of view, travel abroad may have advantage the travel domestic.
   
    First of all, people who want to master a foreign language can profited greatly from their trips. To learn a foreign language well, a good language environment is very important. People who travel abroad can benefit from the good language environment by direct contact the native speaker, read original newspaper, watch original TV ,in this way, they make great achievement in their foreign language study. For example, Even in European countries where foreign languages are taught with outstanding success, young people go abroad to gain fluency and naturalness in their use of the target language. They experience different lives and improve the ability to learn different foreign languages and to understand different cultures.
   
    Secondly, travelling abroad can broaden one’s eyes and enrich one’s knowledge. When people travel abroad, they must respect the local customs of the country that they are visiting. So they must do some preparation work. For example, my best friend John make a trip to Thailand, he find there are much taboo in the daily life, such as not to use your left hand to pass object to others, for Thai feel left hand is unholy. John learned much local customs and practices from his journey in foreign countries, that knowledge has become valuable wealth of him.

    Finally, people can have more fun in a foreign country journey than in a homeland journey. For my wife and I, we spent our honeymoon in Maldives.Crystal white sandy beaches, reflected on the water whirling in the shadow of the coconut, the large crowd of colorful tropical fish constitute the Maldives "animation" landscape. We found funny thing almost everywhere, even bathroom. In Maldives, the bathroom here is actually make a top with the leaf, sea wind makes a wall, billows sound is music, life is lamplight " pure natural " between bath.

    In a word, people may gain more from foreign than from domestic trip. Taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the conclusion.

cavadorisUID: 2646574

Nowadays, some may hold the opinion that people profit more（好词儿） from domestic trip than foreign trip. But others have a negative attitude. As far as I am concerned, I agree that people may gain more from foreign（trip） than from domestic trip. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.
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) \. n7 d( p7 L7 m    To begin with, I concede that people travelling in their own country may save money-contrast to travel abroad（破折号总觉得有点别扭）, it maybe can save 50 percent money. They can also free from worry, not to face unfamiliar （unfamiliar名词形式）with the place and the people plus language obstacle.But from another point of view, travel abroad may have advantage（over） the travel domestic.
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    First of all, people who want to master a foreign language can profited（原形） greatly from their trips. To learn a foreign language well, a good language environment is very important. People who travel abroad can benefit from the good language environment by direct contact the native speaker, read original newspaper, watch original TV ,（三个动词都应该是动名词形式哦）in this way, they make great achievement in their foreign language study. For example, Even in European countries where foreign languages are taught with outstanding success, young people go abroad to gain fluency and naturalness in their use of the target language. They experience different lives and improve the ability to learn different foreign languages and to understand different cultures.! ]/ I: U) e3 ]: A+ K  @
    （很多单词用的很深刻，但是我觉得例子不够具体）
; p2 u/ e: h1 R! y& R& m) P7 r    Secondly, travelling abroad can broaden one’s eyes and enrich one’s knowledge. When people travel abroad, they must respect the local customs of the country that they are visiting. So they must do some preparation work. For example, my best friend John make a trip to Thailand, he find there are much taboo in the daily life, such as not to use your left hand to pass object to others, for Thai feel left hand is unholy. John learned much local customs and practices from his journey in foreign countries, that knowledge has become valuable wealth of him(好例子).6 P  t0 i1 x; \" X$ T# （

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+ V) |$ l; a: \9 ?: r2 s    Finally, people can have more fun in a foreign country journey than in a homeland journey. For my wife and I, we spent our honeymoon in Maldives.Crystal white sandy beaches, reflected on the water whirling in the shadow of the coconut, the large crowd of colorful tropical fish constitute the Maldives "animation" landscape. We found funny thing almost everywhere, even bathroom. In Maldives, the bathroom here is actually make a top with the leaf, sea wind makes a wall, billows sound is music, life is lamplight " pure natural " between bath. （描写很好很强大）
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4 {) M* e. F; P6 F# Y5 `    In a word, people may gain more from foreign than from domestic trip. Taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the conclusion.

写的不错哦 很多地方值得我学习 point很清楚 不过应该多注意下基本语法

名字是个词儿UID: 2707493

   Nowadays, some may hold the opinion that people profit more fromdomestic[好词！] trip than foreign trip. But others have a negative[opposite?] attitude.As far as I am concerned, I agree that people may gain more fromforeign than from domestic trip. My arguments for this point are listedas follows.
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   To begin with, I concede that people travelling in their own countrymay save money-contrast to travel abroad, it maybe can save 50 percentmoney[the cost can by fifty percents less]. They can also free from worry, not to face unfamiliar with theplace and the people plus language obstacle
[这句开头语法改一下].But from another point of view, travel abroad may have advantage the travel domestic.
[让步段放在主体段的前面？还用to begin with 开头？你不怕ETS误会啊]
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( l/ G$ z1 A$ ]+ a2 l   First of all, people who want to master a foreign language canprofited[profit] greatly from their trips. To learn a foreign language well, agood language environment is very important. People who travel abroadcan benefit from the good language environment by direct contact [with] thenative speaker, read original newspaper, watch original TV ,in thisway, they make great achievement in their foreign language study. Forexample, Even in European countries where foreign languages are taughtwith outstanding success, young people go abroad to gain fluency andnaturalness in their use of the target language. They experiencedifferent lives and improve the ability to learn different foreignlanguages and to understand different cultures.( |# a/ U+ c, {! s% s/ k5 g0 V
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   Secondly, travelling abroad can broaden one’s eyes and enrich one’sknowledge. When people travel abroad, they must respect the localcustoms of the country that they are visiting. So they must do somepreparation work. For example, my best friend John make[made，下同] a trip toThailand, he find there are much taboo in the daily life, such as notto use your left hand to pass object to others, for Thai feel left handis unholy. John learned much local customs and practices from hisjourney in foreign countries, that knowledge has become valuable wealthof him.. O: {* E% t! A

) }! M3 Z. A3 K2 X( L   Finally, people can have more fun in a foreign country journey thanin a homeland journey. For my wife and I, we spent our honeymoon inMaldives[真的假的？好有米啊～].Crystal white sandy beaches, reflected on the water whirlingin the shadow of the coconut, the large crowd of colorful tropical fishconstitute the Maldives "animation" landscape. We found funny thingalmost everywhere, even bathroom. In Maldives, the bathroom here isactually make a top with the leaf, sea wind makes a wall, billows soundis music, life is lamplight " pure natural " between bath. [这句内容非常赞，细节妙，很打动人。再注意下语法]- M& @3 r' h* J$ j" |5 x. j" x# q

  ]3 O* V0 f8 t   In a word, people may gain more from foreign than from domestic trip.Taking into account of all these factors, we may reach the conclusion.

这篇写得不错！楼主对整体结构的架驭很强。建议最后留出几分钟检查语法。