作文求改，谢谢哦~~

pyjdtc316UID: 2535853

题目：choose one resource needs to be saved，forest,animals or clean water?

Nowadays, with the development of modern society, the fact that many many parts of the world are losing important natural resources has loomed up wide public concern. What amazes us is that the forms of those resources vary from forests,animals and even clean water. Among those precious ones, forest is, from the personal perspective, the most important one which should be preserved badly.

The main reason for my propensity is that forest take the responsiblity to preserve water and soil, and thus providing a place for animals,over hundreds of species, to habitat. It is self-evident that the process of deforestation has damaged, or distincted some really rare species, such as dodo bird(died out in 1681 )and silver tree. Moving on to wider themes, the fail of ecological balance which linked to the distinction of all sorts of plants and animals would do a great harm to human. The reason is simple, cause we human can not live on earth exclusively.

Another equally essential factor why i choose to save forest first involves its funtion of reducing the progress of global warming. There is no denying that the global warming has threatened the well-being of livings and raised up the sea level, which means that many cities may be buried in the foreseeable future. Luckily, trees in forests are capable to absorb carbon dioxcide, the major greenhouse gas, and release oxygen, which is indispensible for beings to maintain their life. Given that factor, it is very imperative to save forest, which is synonymous with to save our selves.

However, accoustomed though we are to appealing to save nature resources, we always neglect to put it into action. Basic to any action of dereasing deforestation is understanding what can we do. Even if the action of abandoning instant chopstics,cards and wood furnitures, and trivial things like that, would make a differnce in preserving forests.

From what i have discussed above, i strongly commit to the notion that forest need the protection from us, including you and me. It is not only for those endangered species, but also for our human being, for the only home we all share, our planet.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

这个题目的样子好像不完整啊，光让你选题目没有对论述的要求么。。=.= 凑合着改先。。

Nowadays,with the development of the modern society, the fact that many many partsof the world are losing important natural resources has loomed up (1stly, 'loom' doesn't go with 'up'. 2ndly, 'loom' is a vi, which means you can't 'loom' something; only something 'looms'. 3rdly, even if you do use 'loom' correctly here, I still doubt it's truly the word you'd actually meant to use, because normally only something looking dangerous or scary would 'loom'. With all these said, I come to guess that you don't really know what 'loom' means..and as always, don't use words that you don't know how to use.) widepublic concern. What amazes us is that the forms of those resourcesvary, from forests,animals and even clean water. (I personally don't really find it amazing, and whether it's amazing or not doesn't really have anything to do with your choice, yes?) Among those preciousones, the forest is, from the personal perspectives, the most important onewhich should be preserved badly (You don't 'preserve badly', because 迫切地保护 is not correct in Chinese. It's 迫切地需要保护. Again, many times people make mistakes in English not because their English is no good, rather because even in their native languages they make mistakes and never think about them. Here, you're applying 'badly' to the wrong verb. What you meant to write should be something like '..which badly needs preservation'.).

Themain reason for my propensity is that the forest takes the responsibility topreserves water and soil (If you use 'take', you're hinting that the forest actively accepts such a responsibility, and nothing else is responsible for it.), and thus providing a place for animals, over hundreds (How can you be so sure that this number is not in 'thousands'? You'd actually be safer to stick with 'many species of animals'.) of species, to habitat (You seem to be reasoning that because of forests hold water and soil together, animals have a place to stay. This is pretty absurd because not all animals need to stay in forests, and those that do are there not because of the land, but because of food.). It is self-evident that the process of deforestation has damaged, or distincted (You mean 'extinct', don't you?) some really rare species, suchas the dodo bird (died out in 1681) (FYI: as far as the dodo bird's case goes, it's extinction is attributed more to foreign species invasion than deforestation. The dodo never saw any predators on Mauritius until humans brought their animals - cats, pigs, rats and the like - to the island. These birds are flightless, and have evolved no means to defend themselves against such ravaging intruders. Deforestation only helped to expose them more to the foreign species, therefore ACCELERATED the dodo's extinction. The same thing happened to many flightless birds in New Zealand and other islands throughout the world. One human visit - not necessarily any deforestation - could easily wipe out a small island of birds.) and the silver tree (I'm not sure which tree species you're referring to here. The silver tree - I assume you mean Leucadendron argenteum - is endangered but not extinct.) . Moving on to wider themes, the failure of ecological balance which linked to the distinction of all sorts of plants and animals would do a great harm to human. The reason is simple, cause (' 'cause' or 'coz' is a short for 'because', but NOT 'cause'. You shouldn't use such casual short forms in formal writings anyway.) we human cannot live on the earth exclusively. (Not until robots rule the world and farm us in virtual reality, I guess. This is just too weak an argument. The point you keep failing to get to is that humans DEPEND on plants and animals, therefore the destruction of species caused by deforestation would be fatal to the human species too.)

Another equally essential factor in why i choose to save the forest first involves its funtion of reducing the progress of global warming. There is no denying that the global warming has threatened the well-being of livings and raised up the sea level, which means that many cities may be buried (This word means 'to cover with EARTH'. If you're going to cover something with water, that would be 'submerged'.) in the foreseeable future. Luckily, trees in forests are capable to absorb carbon dioxcide, the major greenhouse gas, and release oxygen, which is indispensible for beings to maintain their life. Given that factor, it is very imperative to save the forest, which is synonymous with to saving ourselves.

However,accoustomed though we are to appeals (I swapped out 'appealing' because this word has a special meaning as an adj.) to save natural resources, we always neglect to put them into actions. Basic to any action of decreasing deforestation is an understanding what can we do. Even if the action of abandoning instant chopsticks,cards? and wood furnitures, and trivial things like that, would make a difference in preserving forests. (Unless your question has specifically asked HOW you should preserve the natural resource of your choice, don't write this, because if the question doesn't ask for it, it'll be irrelevant. Given the question as you've given, it'd be better to discuss in brief why you have chosen the forest over animals or clean water.)

From what i have discussed above, i strongly commit to the notion that the forest needs the protection from us, including you and me. It is not only for those endangered species, but also for our us human beings, and for the planet, the only home we all share, our planet.

总结：

语法 - 主谓，单复，最基本的语法请好好注意。。另外当你讨论forest作为一个抽象名词来表达泛化的概念的时候，要么用复数，要么用the+单数，但不能一个单数光杆司令，比如你要说‘猫是有毛的动物’，猫在这里指的是抽象的所有的‘猫’的概念，所以你要么说The cat is a furry kind of animal，要么说Cats are furry animals，但是不能说Cat is furry animal。

词汇 - 拼字请注意一下。。另外就是近义词不要用混，不确定怎么用的单词不要冒险乱用。

逻辑 - 题目给得没什么具体要求，所以逻辑算是不错，不过第二段结尾逻辑推演得不到点子，具体请参照文内的评语。。另外就是倒数第二段的写法，请根据具体题目的具体要求来操作，避免跑题。