寄托天下
查看: 2163|回复: 2
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[活动] 开始参加小组练作文了,start at 5-23 by 简小跳 [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
171
注册时间
2009-12-15
精华
0
帖子
9
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2010-5-24 10:19:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
In order to become a finacially reponsible adult, people should be taught how to manage money at an early age.


Nowadays,when it comes to financial education at an early age,there is alway much discussion.A fair proportion of people advocate that awareness of managing money plays an extremely important role in people`s daily life,thus children should be taught how to take good use of money.People who are against this opinion,one the other hand,argue that it will hurdle children`s intellectual and physical development,because it is much for them to learn at such a young age.As for me,I would support former viewpoint with specific reasons as follows.

The first plain truth,I am presenting here,is that by being taught to manage money,children will gain a better understanding of how money can be earned,how to make a plan and how to use money in a proper way as well.As we all know,so important and indispensable is the money that people can not avoid learning to manage it.Like raising a child,managing money is a long-term process.It need a elaborate plan which actually help children enable their ability of planing and develop their characteristic of persistence.Recently,a survey has revealed that an increasing number of parents begin to realize the advantage teaching children manage money brings.Furthermore,they buy children money jars and notebooks which draw children`s attention to learn.

In addition,parents will be less stressful when their children have a good understand of money.A recent research shows that in modern society,those families with two or more children  are more likely to be anxious and stressed while than are enjoying a big family.Clearly,raising a child not merely takes parents a great deal of time and energy,it coasts them handlers thousand of money on children`s education and other expenses.Conversely,the situation will be totally different when children knows where money comes from and where it should go.More specifically,take myself for example,I was taught that early education was the fundamental part of people`s future success,thus,my parents sent me to private school where tuition was twice as expensive as it was in public school.I really learned a lot and enjoyed time there.In the meanwhile,they taught me that only I did learn to spend my pocket money carefully,they could send me to the schools like that.Gradually,I took the point that saving money would make my parents happy and myself more knowledgeable as granted.

Although learning to manage money may occupy children`s limited spare time,so many people are having financial problems now that we hardly ignore the importance of early financial education. The case of my friend`s recent messy life matches my viewpoint perfectly.My friend Lee whose family own two factories has been spoiled since he was born.He always got what he wanted regardless of the price.Accordingly,he grew up with this bad habit.As the global economy depression came by,their factories were fully influence and could be kept in a normal running,therefore,he could not get any financial support from his family.Finally,he ended up in a deep debt duo his habit that he didn`t know how to take good use of money and believe managing would actually bring more money.

According to what has been discussed above,We may draw a conclusion that managing money brings too many positive effects in variety of aspects of real life.It should be paid more attention,what`s more,it even should be adopted a subject in preschools and elementary schools.



好久没写了,感觉很生疏,唉,好多词都记不上。也没计时,洋洋洒洒乱写一通!!!望批评指正!!!
0 0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
4
寄托币
367
注册时间
2009-11-28
精华
0
帖子
10
沙发
发表于 2010-5-24 19:56:43 |只看该作者
In order to become a finacially reponsible adult, people should be taught how to manage money at an early age.


Nowadays,when it comes to financial education at an early age,there is alway much discussion.A fair proportion of people advocate[advocates] that awareness of managing money plays an extremely important role in people`s daily life,thus children should be taught how to take good use of money.People who are against this opinion,one[on] the other hand,argue that it will hurdle children`s intellectual and physical development,because it is much for them to learn at such a young age.As for me,I would support [the] former viewpoint with specific reasons as follows.


The first plain truth,I am presenting here,is that by being taught to manage money,children will gain a better understanding of how money can be earned,how to make a plan and how to use money in a proper way as well. As we all know,so important and indispensable is the money that people can not avoid learning to manage it. Like raising a child, managing money is a long-term process.It need a elaborate plan which actually help children enable their ability of planing and develop their characteristic of persistence.Recently,a survey has revealed that an increasing number of parents begin to realize the advantage teaching children manage money brings.Furthermore,they buy children money jars and notebooks which draw children’s attention to learn.

In addition,parents will be less stressful when their children have a good understand[understanding] of money.A recent research shows that in modern society,those families with two or more children  are more likely to be anxious and stressed while than[they] are enjoying a big family.Clearly,raising a child not merely takes parents a great deal of time and energy,it coasts[costs] them handlers[hundreds of] thousand of money on children`s education and other expenses.Conversely,the situation will be totally different when children knows[know] where money comes from and where it should go.More specifically,take myself for example,I was taught that early education was the fundamental part of people`s future success,thus,my parents sent me to [a] private school where [the] tuition was twice as expensive[much
个人认为] as it was in public school.I really learned a lot and enjoyed [the] time there.In the meanwhile,they taught me that only [when] I did learn to spend my pocket money carefully,they could send me to the schools like that.Gradually,I took the point that saving money would make my parents happy and [make] myself more knowledgeable as granted[well貌似没有as granted这种用法,take sth. for granted.].


d( @- g
Although learning to manage money may occupy children`s limited spare time,so many people are having financial problems now that we hardly ignore the importance of early financial education. The case of my friend`s recent messy life matches my viewpoint perfectly.My friend Lee whose family own two factories has been spoiled since he was born.He always got what he wanted regardless of the price.Accordingly,he grew up with this bad habit.As the global economy depression came by,their factories were fully influence[seriously influenced] and could [only] be kept in a normal running,therefore,he could not get any financial support from his family.Finally,he ended up in a deep debt duo[due to] his habit that he didn`t know how to take good use of money and believe[
去掉] managing would actually bring more money.
9 V7 Q0 U  d" H- Y# p3 l
$ p5 G! W% S4 `& T. z% Q

According to what has been discussed above,We may draw a conclusion that managing money brings too many positive effects in variety of aspects of real life.It should be paid more attention,what`s more,it even should be adopted [as] a subject in preschools and elementary schools.


楼主绝对牛人,写文章看起来是信手拈来,优点很多,连词用的很多很好,文章很连贯。楼主讲了很多早学习理财的好处,题目是In order to become a financially responsible adult, people should be taught to manage money at an early age,这里我一直纠结的问题是最终目标是确立了,要financially responsible,到底要不要早学习,而早学习到底如何促进financially responsible,所以如果提一下financially responsible,这样文章读起来会更符合题目主旨。如果以前我会非常同意楼主的写作思路,但现在写了一些后发现有时候自己的文章有时候会跑题,或直接就没理解题目主要意思,呵呵,这些都是我自己的看法,不一定正确。


还有就是注意一下标点的空格,这样会更清楚一些,红色标记是我要好好学习的句子。Thank you for the excellent article.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
171
注册时间
2009-12-15
精华
0
帖子
9
板凳
发表于 2010-5-25 03:37:37 |只看该作者
写作楼上的指正,我就写了文章没细看,哈哈 题目我就看了一半,前半句没看到!
我的文章细节上太多错误。太致命了!唉,谢谢指正了。
我写文章最大的问题就是时间和拼写了。唉
还有我,我不是从上往下写的,我每段开个头,然后从下往上写的

使用道具 举报

RE: 开始参加小组练作文了,start at 5-23 by 简小跳 [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
开始参加小组练作文了,start at 5-23 by 简小跳
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1101225-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部