第二次作业 I17

Luise8891UID: 2906459

     The order and stability of a society may be threatened if every individual of this society does not to obey the just laws.But the importance to obey the just laws never overshadow the importance to disobey and even resist the unjust laws,for all the tested just laws were established after the unjust laws about the same issues were first disbeyed ,then resisted and finally abolished and revised.Therefore,it is equally important to do both to build a more sophisticated law system.
     First of all,In order to better comprehend the two abstract terms, It is necessary to defind the two opposite kinds of laws.Just laws,as the literal meaning shows,refer to kinds of laws which are to ensure the interest of most people and simultaneously to sacrifice some minorities' interest.One thing to be sure,there are always a comparison involved ,and then a compromise is reached.Unjust law is quite the opposite.But I have to stress that those just laws are not for ever just laws when it no longer represents the greater good of majority with time passing by.
     Admittedly ,It ‘s easy to imagine what would happen to the society --full of unjustice ,prejudice,discrimination and even fight--if every individual in the society does not obey the just laws. If the governers’ power is not limited,there is no guarantee that those governers would not use their power to do something for their own good; probably at the same time,the interests of most civilians are harmed.If the law is not to protect the small companies to ensure that they enjoy the fair market with those giant corporations,then the monopoly is omnipresent and it’s the common people who suffer from this.What about the copy rights to protect the original creation of artists or writers?It’s just due to the obedience to the just law that lead to a more harmonious society .
     Equally important,to disobey and even resist unjust laws is a necessary way to build upon a more consummate law system.If the black people in U.S. did not fight for their right to be equal and free,they would probably still work on a farm or factory as a slave.If the women did not contend for the equal right with man,the women may still be living under the shadow of men.It’s due to the disobedience and resistence to the unjust law that make it come true that
people with different colours and genders could sit together in a cinema enjoying a movie.
      However,it's very dangerous for us to obey every rule written in the code without queastioning it .Why?first ,it is because laws never cease to change to meet the standard of justice.For example, the induced abortion may be highly forbidden several decades ago in some countries,especially in the area dominated by the Catholic religion,where embryos were believed as living beings and to end a embryo is convicted as murder.Several decades later,while the debate is still on , in many places induced abortion has already become legal ,even though the woman may receive moral reprehension from some old folks .Then,another thing is that those just laws which may seem just in the first glance, are actully incomplete or with several flaws.For example,the laws to protect the patients who are involved in a medical accidents are definitely indispensable.After all,doctors are making unnecessary mistakes from time to time.But is it always just?I seriously doubt it.Most laws are established in the angle of common people –that is patients or the patients-to-be,who are always to seek more more protection for themselves,after all the doctors are the minorities in the society.therefore due to the ignorance of actual medical situation and the easily-aroused empathy of majorities,it’s inevitable that some doctors are receiving
unjust treatment because of the so-called just law.Finally,law must withstand  the test of time before it becomes the just law.Those laws which are abolished because they have been proven to be injust,once were just laws before.Thus how can we be sure that the just law we are complying with today will always remain just ?
     In conclusion,it should be the principle of every individual of a society to obey the just law,and at the same time always disobey and resist the unjust law.But before we adhere to our principles,we must be fully aware that the just and unjust law are mutual convertible, and those so-called just law would probably blind our judgement.Therefore,what we should do is to always keep a clear mind ,and stick to what we believe.

dreamerdanceUID: 2759402

Rad-语法词法问题
Blue-好词好句
Pink-不理解的地方
Green-小结
Orange-建议

The order and stability of a society may be threatened if every individual of this 删掉，没有特指，或者用a society does not to删掉obey the just laws. But the importance to obey（of obeying） the just laws never overshadow the importance to (of) disobeying and even resisting the unjust laws, for all the tested just laws were established after the unjust laws about the same issues were first disbeyed （disobeyed）,then resisted and finally abolished and revised. Therefore, it is equally important to do both in other to build a more sophisticated（建议不用这个词，法律系统不是复杂就好，建议使用valid） and fair （不能光是复杂的而更应该是公正的这里提供几个词替换just，fair，righteous, judicial, unbiased, 这样词语才会避免重复。）law system.

这个观点很有新意，认为所有法律都是经过抵抗，重修才得以保留。但是有一点意见，这样说是不是过于极端？有没有法律不是经过这样的流程，从其颁布开始就受到了欢迎而并没有受到质疑和抵制？我不太了解，你可以查一查。

  First of all, In order to better comprehend the two abstract terms, It it is necessary to defind 是define the two opposite kinds of laws. Just laws, as the literal meaning shows, refer to kinds of 删掉laws which are to 删掉 ensure the interest of most people and simultaneously to 删sacrifice some minorities' interests 当利益讲时要加s. One thing to be sure, there are always a comparison 比较？involved, and then a compromise is reached. Unjust law is quite the opposite case.为啥unjust laws 就是完全相反的啊？应该接着写一句阐述清楚 But I have to stress （emphasize）that those just laws are not forever （forever）just laws when it no longer represents the greater good （interests）of the majority with time passing by.


本段你是想阐述二者可以互相转换，但是不够写清楚，应该加上几句说明白。

Admittedly（没有诚然的意思吧） ,It ‘s easy to imagine what would happen to the society --full of injustice ,prejudice, discrimination and even fight--if every individual in the society does not obey the just laws. If the governors’ power is not limited, there is no guarantee that those governers （拼写错误governors）would not use their power to do something for their own good; probably at the same time, the interests of most civilians are harmed. If the law is not to protect the small companies to ensure that they enjoy the fair market with those giant corporations, then the monopoly is omnipresent and it’s the common people who suffer from this. What about the copy rights to protect the original creation of artists or writers? 这个结论好仓促啊，为什么保护版权就是因为反对正义的法律啊，一定要说清楚It’s just due to the obedience to the just law that lead to a more harmonious society .

Equally important, to disobey and even resist unjust laws is a necessary way to build upon删掉a more consummate这个词有点太大了，用perfect就行 law system. If the black people in U.S. did not fight for their right to be equal and free （of equality and freedom）, they would probably still work on a farm or factory as a slaves. If the women did not contend for the equal right with man, the women(they) may still be living under the shadow of men. It’s due to the disobedience and resistence to the unjust law that make it come true that people with different colors and genders could sit together in a cinema enjoying a movie.

我觉得这一段可以和上一段合为一段，都是阐述要反抗，并且上一段意义不大。

  没有过度啊，上一段刚说完要反抗不公平的法律，怎么这段一下子就到我们不能遵守所有法律了呢？However, it's very dangerous for us to obey every rule written in the code without questioning it .Why? Ffirst ,it is because laws never cease to change to meet the standard of justice. For example, the induced abortion may be highly forbidden several decades ago in some countries, especially in the area dominated by the Catholic religion, where embryos were believed as living beings and to end a (an)embryo is convicted as murder. Several decades later, while the debate is still on(going on ) , in many places induced abortion has already become legal ,even though the woman may receive moral reprehension from some old folks .（这个例子引用的过长，几句话就能说明白，例子简短一些）Then, another thing is that说法不够地道，可用besides就行了 those just laws which may seem just in the first glance, are actully actually incomplete or with several flaws. For example, the laws to protect the patients who are involved in medical accidents are definitely indispensable. After all, doctors are making unnecessary mistakes from time to time. But is it always just? I seriously doubt about it. Most laws are established in the angle of common people –that is patients or the patients-to-be?, who are always to seek (seeking for)more more protection for themselves, after all the doctors are the minorities in the society. therefore due to the ignorance of actual medical situation and the easily-aroused empathy of majorities, it’s inevitable that some doctors are receiving unjust treatment because of the so-called just law. Finally, law must withstand the test of time before it becomes the just law. Those laws which are abolished because they have been proven to be injust (unjust ), once were just laws before. Thus how can we be sure (we ensure)that the just laws that we are complying with today will (would) always remain just ?

这段才是你的核心内容，我觉得完全应该把这几点拆开各自为段，这才是你的重点。

     In conclusion, it should be the principle of every individual of a society to obey the just law, and at the same time always disobey and resist the unjust law. But before we adhere to our principles, we must be fully aware that the just and unjust laws are mutual convertible, and those so-called just laws would probably blind our judgement (judgment). Therefore, what we should do is to always keep a clear mind, and stick to what we believe.

优点：立意新颖，从二者可以相互转化和变化入手。逻辑较为清晰
缺点：1语法错误太多，空格，单词拼写，词组搭配需要再次揣度。
2另外段落之间脉络不够清晰，有的地方缺少适当的过度，可以使用适当的连接词。
3有些地方句子冗杂，完全可以用一个长句表达出来，不要用太多的简单句。
4有的地方思维过于跳跃，应该一步步阐述清楚。

我的个人意见，仅供参考
1# Luise8891

Luise8891UID: 2906459

The order and stability of a society may be threatened if every individual of this society does not obey the just laws. But the importance of observance of the just laws never overshadow the importance of disobeying and even resisting the unjust laws, for all the tested just laws were established after the unjust laws about the same issues were first disobeyed ,then resisted and finally abolished or revised. Therefore, it is equally important to do both to build a more mature law system.
First of all, in order to better comprehend the two abstract terms, it it is necessary to define the two opposite kinds of laws. Just laws, as the literal meaning shows, refer to laws which ensure the interest of majorities. One thing to be sure, there is always a comparison involved and then a compromise is reached in the process of legislation.Unjust laws, as the precusor of just law, is established by the ruling class to maintain their own intrests. Someone might think there must be some laws which were not derived from the unjust laws. There are not. Every single law which may seem just in our legislation today has its counterpart in the past—unjust law dating back to thousands years ago. But I have to stress that those just laws are not forever righteous when they no longer represent the greater good of the majority with time passing by.


Admittedly, no one can deny the importance of obeying just law. It’s easy to imagine what would happen to the society --full of injustice ,prejudice, discrimination and even clash-- if every individual in the society does not comply with the just laws. If governors does not abide by the just law, there is no guarantee that those governors would not use their power to benefit themselves; If those giant corporations do not obey the just laws which maintain a fair maket to all companies, then the monopoly might be omnipresent.These two examples are all indicating that it’s due to the obedience to the just laws that lead to a more harmonious society .


Equally important, to disobey and even resist unjust laws is a necessary way to build a more sound law system. If the black people in U.S. did not fight for their right of equality and freedom, they would probably still work on a farm or a factory as slaves. If the women did not contend for the equal right with men, they may still be living under the shadow of men.These two examples are all suggesting that it’s owing to the disobedience and resistence to the unjust law that make it come true that people with different colors and genders could sit together in a cinema enjoying a movie.


However, before we stick to the just laws ,we must be fully aware that it's very dangerous for us to abide by every single rule written in the code without questioning it .Why? First ,it is because laws never cease to change to meet the standard of justice. For example, the induced abortion may be highly forbidden several decades ago in many countries, especially in the area dominated by the Catholic religion, where to end an embryo is convicted as murder. Several decades later, while the debate is still heated, in many places induced abortion has already become legal ,even though the woman may receive moral reprehension from some conservatives. Then, another reason is that those just laws which may seem fair in the first glance, are actually incomplete or with several serious flaws. For example, the laws to protect the patients who are involved in medical accidents are definitely indispensable. And most laws are established in the angle of common people –patients or the potential patients, who tend to seek for more protection for themselves. Therefore due to the ignorance of actual medical situation and the easily-aroused empathy of majorities, it’s inevitable that some doctors are receiving unjust treatment in a lawsuit. Finally, every law must withstand the test of time before it becomes the just law. Those laws which are abolished at present because they have been proven to be unjust , once were just laws before without a doubt. Thus how can we we ensure that the just laws that we are complying with today would always remain unbiased?

     In conclusion, it should be the principle of every individual of a society to obey the just law, and at the same time always disobey and resist the unjust law. But before we adhere to our principles, we must be fully aware that the just and unjust laws are mutual convertible, and those so-called just laws would probably blind our judgment. Therefore, what we should do is to always keep a clear mind, and stick to what we believe is just.

ydycgwllUID: 2894737

The order and stability of a society may be threatened if every individual of this society does not obey the just laws. But the importance of observance of the just laws never overshadow the importance of disobeying and even resisting the unjust laws, for all the tested just laws were established after the unjust laws about the same issues were first disobeyed ,then resisted and finally abolished or revised. Therefore, it is equally important to do both to build a more mature law system.
First of all, in order to better comprehend the two abstract terms, it is necessary to define the two opposite kinds of laws. Just laws, as the literal meaning shows, refer to laws which ensure the interest of majorities. One thing to be sure, there is always a comparison involved and then a compromise is reached in the process of legislation. Unjust laws, as the precusor of just law, is established by the ruling class to maintain their own interests
. Someone might think there must be some laws which were not derived from(来源,不要用被动语态derive) the unjust laws. There are not(个人认为太过绝对,比如自古就有孝敬父母;而且最好给出证据,否则仅是你的个人判断就最好不能这么肯定,很容易引起读者的质疑). Every single law which may seem just in our legislation today has its counterpart in the past—unjust law dating back to thousands years ago. But I have to stress that those just laws are not forever righteous when they no longer represent the greater good of the majority with time passing by.

Admittedly, no one can deny the importance of obeying just law. It’s easy to imagine what would happen to the society --full of injustice , prejudice, discrimination and even clash-- if every individual in the society does not comply with the just laws. If governors does主谓一致do not abide by the just law, there is no guarantee that those governors would not use their power to benefit themselves; If those giant corporations do not obey the just laws which maintain a fair market to all companies, then the monopoly might be omnipresent. These two examples are all indicating为什么用正在进行时，是要表达“这两个例子正显示…”吗？进行时态没有这个功能，用very indicate就可以，而且两者“都”用both，all用于大于等于3者 that宾语从句中的that均省略，除非必要之处为帮助读者 it’s due to due to词组本意“由于”是介词短语，不能被动语态 the obedience to the just laws that lead to a more harmonious society .

Equally important, to disobey and even resist unjust laws is a necessary way to build a more sound law system. If the black people可直接用the blacks the+adj+s代表一类 in U.S. did not fight for their right of equality and freedom, they would probably still work on a farm or a factory as slaves. If the women did not contend for the equal right with men, they may still be living under the shadow of men. These two examples are all both suggesting同上 that it’s owing to（同due to） the disobedience and resistence to the unjust law that make it come true that people with different colors and genders could sit together in a cinema enjoying a movie.

However, before we stick to the just laws , we must be fully aware that it's very dangerous for us to abide by every single rule written in the code without questioning it .Why? First , it is because laws never cease to change to meet the standard of justice. For example, the induced abortion may be highly forbidden several decades ago in many countries, especially in the area dominated by the Catholic religion, where to end an embryo is convicted as a murder. Several decades later, while当…时；然而；没有尽管之意，可用despite the debate is still heated, in many places induced abortion has already become legal , even though the woman may receive moral reprehension from some conservatives. 这句话的连接词两个尽管while，even though的用法导致累赘，并且两个尽管后面的意思相同都是说有争议可以合并 Then, another reason is that those just laws which may seem fair in应该是at the first glance, are actually incomplete or with several serious flaws. For example, the laws to protect用独立结构符合语言习惯改为protecting the patients who are involved in medical accidents are definitely indispensable. And most laws are established in the angle of common people –patients or the potential patients, who tend to seek for more protection for themselves. Therefore due to the ignorance of actual medical situation and the easily-aroused empathy of majorities, it’s inevitable that some doctors are receiving unjust treatment in a lawsuit. Finally, every law must withstand the test of time before it becomes the just law. Those laws which are abolished at present because they have been proven to be unjust , once were just laws before without a doubt. Thus how can we ensure that去 the just laws that去（that在任何从句中作宾语成分习惯上均省略除非需要之处帮读者阅读，另外在主/表语从句一般不省略） we are complying with today would always remain unbiased?

     In conclusion, it should be the principle of every individual of a society to obey the just law, and at the same time always disobey and resist the unjust law. But before we adhere to our principles, we must be fully aware that the just and unjust laws are mutual convertible, and those so-called just laws would probably blind our judgment. Therefore, what we should do is to always keep a clear mind, and stick to what we believe is just.
总结：语言上语法错误要引起重视，另外大都存在的通病就是表意存在罗嗦重复之处，往往自己不觉得，但是一看范文就能体会到自己的这一问题
这篇文章有两层中心意思：遵守just，反对unjust，二者平等；有显单薄；issue不像A只用死扣原文，issue中可围绕话题展开自己的思想，比如：处于当时社会的人们绝大部分是意识不到某种不公平，即使意识到了使用什么样的程序来实现转变才能确保自身的安全等…举此例是希望你对这个问题再做一些深入的思考。