Issue121 处女作，仔细修改过，期待互砸！

fircattyUID: 166248

121"At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species."

处女作，未限时，熬了一下午，还是选了最有话说得一篇，自己很仔细的改过，希望互砸，谢谢~~~

提纲：
1、一些生物的灭绝表面看不是人类的责任，实际上是人间接起的作用。同时这也提醒人们，生态必须平衡，救它们也是救人类自己。
2、即使有些动物的灭亡与人类无关，但它们的生存对人类有特殊的意义。
3、人类要救生物，但不意味着不惜一切代价，人类还有更多的社会问题需要解决，必须寻求一个两者的平衡点。
Is it reasonalbe for society to make extraodinary efforts to save endangered species, especially at a great cost in money and jobs? I believe that it is our responsibility to save some endangered species at times, both for the species themselves and for us. And the significant thing is that we should always balance the saving activity and other problems we confronted.

It sometimes seems that the extinction of many species is irrelative to human beings, however, human processes actually have an indirect and violent effect on the problems of other species' survival. Many species are extinct mainly due to the changes in their natutral environment such as rise of the temperature, lack of the preys or plants, which, if we get down to the details, is caused or accelerated by the human behavior to a great extent. The desertification of land often caused by deforestation, air pollution becomes serious by the exhaust of vehicles and factories, and the greenhouse effect has a close relation to the use of conditioners and refrigerators. All of these make the environment of many species changes greatly, and those who cannot quickly adapt to the new environment become endangered species. Therefore, human bear responsibility for many endangered species.

If we view the problem at a different angle, we may find that not only should we but also we must save the endangered species. Each species has its own contribution to keeping the balance of ecosystem. The extinction of some species, if there are any, would definitely affect the living environment of human now that human can impact them. It is hard to say that if we just stand by and do not carry out any plan to prevent the extinction of the endangered species, whether we ourselves would face the same extinctive problem in the end. In other words, saving the endangered species is to certain extent saving ourselves.

Moreover, even if the extinction of some species indeed has not any relation with human processes, we still have to save them because of their special meanings or potential values. Pandas, for example, one kind of endangered animals in the world, mean a lot to China, and many people even consider the panda as a symbol of China. Undoubtedly, Chinese would do their utmost to save pandas. On the other hand, the potential values of animals have a much broad sense, including medical values, military values and others. As we all know, people have invented the radar from the inspiration of the sound-location in bats, and planes are created first by imitating birds' shape and movement. Thus, although some endangered species may not seem to be of value today, it is highly possible that else utilitarian things beyond imagination may be generated from them.

It is justifiable to save some endangered species, however, this does not mean that we should save all species on the verge of extinction at all costs. We have many seriously social problems such as unemployment, crime and so on to solve, which also call for both a great cost in money and jobs. Under the circumstances, it is necessary to keep the balance of efforts made for saving endangered species and for solving other problems, which means that sometimes we have to make difficult choice of which endangered species is planned to protect and which to give up as a result of limited money and energies.

In conclusion, we should devote extraodinary efforts to saving endangered species for the reason that the extinction of some species is actually the result of human processes and certain species are really important for us. But what we should remember is that we do not have the capacity to save all the endangered species because we have many other problems to balance.

[ Last edited by fircatty on 2005-7-8 at 20:37 ]

haodongkingUID: 2101796

先占个座，今天太晚了，明天一早发上来：）

翦瞳UID: 184872

占座！待会发!

haodongkingUID: 2101796

Issue121 处女作，仔细修改过，期待互砸！

121"At various times in the geological past, many species have become extinct as a result of natural, rather than human, processes. Thus, there is no justification for society to make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species."

处女作，未限时，熬了一下午，还是选了最有话说得一篇，自己很仔细的改过，希望互砸，谢谢~~~

提纲：
1、一些生物的灭绝表面看不是人类的责任，实际上是人间接起的作用。同时这也提醒人们，生态必须平衡，救它们也是救人类自己。
2、即使有些动物的灭亡与人类无关，但它们的生存对人类有特殊的意义。
3、人类要救生物，但不意味着不惜一切代价，人类还有更多的社会问题需要解决，必须寻求一个两者的平衡点。
Is it reasonable for society to make extraordinary efforts to save endangered species, especially at a great cost in money and jobs? I believe that it is our responsibility to save some endangered species at times, both for the species themselves and for us. And the significant thing is that we should always balance the saving activity and other problems we confronted.
你后面的两句话最好用一个表示转折的连词连起来，承认……但更重要的是，或者递进好象也可以
It sometimes seems that the extinction of many species is irrelative to human beings, however, human processes actually have an indirect and violent effect on the problems of other species' survival. Many species are extinct mainly due to the changes in their natutral environment such as rise of the temperature, lack of the preys or plants, which, if we get down to the details, is caused or accelerated by the human behavior to a great extent. The desertification of land often caused by deforestation, air pollution becomes serious by the exhaust of vehicles and factories, and the greenhouse effect has a close relation to the use of conditioners and refrigerators（好象温室效应是二氧化碳的功劳，空调是臭氧空洞）. All of these make the environment of many species changes greatly, and those who cannot quickly adapt to the new environment become endangered species. Therefore, human bears responsibility for many endangered species.
这段例证充分，语言也可以。

If we view the problem at a different angle, we may find that not only should we but also we must save the endangered species（感觉怪怪的，是不是想说我门不但应该而且必须？）. Each species has its own contribution to keeping the balance of ecosystem. The extinction of some species, if there are any（肯定有很多面临灭绝的，这句就不用加了）, would definitely affect the living environment of human now that human can impact them. It is hard to say that if we just stand by and do not carry out any plan to prevent the extinction of the endangered species, whether we ourselves would face the same extinctive problem in the end. In other words, saving the endangered species is to certain extent saving ourselves.（这句话不错）
这段的论证只有推理，不够深入，最好在论证时举例来证明物种的灭绝对人类的生活，科研等回产生重大的影响。

Moreover, even if the extinction of some species indeed has not any relation with human processes, we still have to save them because of their special meanings or（and） potential values. Pandas, for example, one kind of endangered animals in the world, mean a lot to China, and many people even consider the panda as a symbol of China. Undoubtedly, Chinese would do their utmost to save pandas. On the other hand, the potential values of animals have a much broad sense, including medical values, military values and others. As we all know, people have invented the radar from the inspiration of the sound-location in bats, and planes are created first by imitating birds' shape and movement. Thus, although some endangered species may not seem to be of value today, it is highly possible that else utilitarian things beyond imagination may be generated from them.
从生态失衡方面举例好象更好一点
It is justifiable to save some endangered species, however, this does not mean that we should save all species on the verge of extinction at all costs. We have many seriously social problems such as unemployment, crime and so on to solve, which also call for both a great cost in money and jobs. Under the circumstances, it is necessary to keep the balance of efforts made for saving endangered species and for solving other problems, which means that sometimes we have to make difficult choice of which endangered species is planned to protect and which to give up as a result of limited money and energies.

In conclusion, we should devote extraodinary efforts to saving endangered species for the reason that the extinction of some species is actually the result of human processes and certain species are really important for us. But what we should remember is that we do not have the capacity to save all the endangered species because we have many other problems to balance.

感觉写的不错，但中间有好多错单词，你自己在WORD里一查就知道了。条理比较清楚，例证也很充分，但最后一段论证的太单薄，语言方面需要提高，感觉有些表达不太好。

翦瞳UID: 184872

首先，楼主很强啊！一看字数，就吓一跳！

Is it reasonalbe for society to make extraodinary efforts to save endangered species, especially at a great cost in money and jobs? I believe that it is our responsibility to save some endangered species at times, both for the species themselves and for us. And the significant thing is that we should always balance the saving activity and（我查了字典，有balance ... against ...的用法，这里可不可以？） other problems we confronted.（观点清晰！）

It sometimes seems that the extinction of many species is irrelative to human beings, however, human processes actually have an indirect and violent effect on the problems of other species' survival. Many species are extinct mainly due to the changes in their natutral environment such as rise of the temperature, lack of the preys or plants, which, if we get down to the details, is caused or accelerated by the human behavior to a great extent. The desertification of land often caused by deforestation, air pollution becomes serious by the exhaust of vehicles and factories, and the greenhouse effect has a close relation to the use of conditioners and refrigerators. All of these make the environment of many species changes （make sth. do ,change）greatly, and those who cannot quickly adapt to the new environment become endangered species. Therefore, human bear responsibility for many endangered species.论证很充分，例子举得很恰当。

If we view the problem at a different angle, we may find that not only should we but also we must save the endangered species. Each species has its own contribution to keeping the balance （harmony or compatibility）of ecosystem. The extinction of some species, if there are any, would definitely affect the living environment of human now that human can impact them. [举例，蚊虫，或者蛇鼠对日常生活的影响]It is hard to say that if we just stand by and do not carry out any plan to prevent the extinction of the endangered species, whether we ourselves would face the same extinctive problem （fate）in the end. In other words, saving the endangered species is to certain extent saving ourselves.

Moreover, even if the extinction of some species indeed[既然是假设就去掉吧] has not any relation with human processes, we still have to save them because of their special meanings or potential values. Pandas, for example, one kind of endangered animals in the world, mean a lot to China, and many people even consider the panda as a symbol of China. Undoubtedly, Chinese would do their utmost to save pandas. On the other hand, the potential values of animals have a much broad sense, including medical values, military values and others. As we all know, people have invented the radar from the inspiration of the sound-location in bats, and planes are created first by imitating birds' shape and movement. Thus, although some endangered species may not seem to be of value today, it is highly possible that else utilitarian things beyond imagination may be generated from them.[in the future](这么强，我无话可说！)
It is justifiable to save some endangered species, however, this does not mean that we should save all species on the verge of extinction at all costs. We have many seriously social problems such as unemployment, crime and so on to solve, which also call for both a great cost in money and jobs. Under the circumstances, it is necessary to keep the balance of efforts made for saving endangered species and for solving other problems, which means that sometimes we have to make difficult choice of which endangered species is planned to protect and which to give up as a result of limited money and energies.(让步)

In conclusion, we should devote extraodinary efforts to saving? endangered species for the reason that the extinction of some species is actually the result of human processes and certain species are really important for us. But what we should remember is that we do not have the capacity to save all the endangered species because we have many other problems to balance.

写得这么好，我都觉得我改都是多余的。
不过，恐龙之类的无关人类的应该提到么？

fircattyUID: 166248

不好意思，昨天刚刚重装系统，没有装word，是贴在记事本里写的，我先看看你们的修改意见，谢谢你们了：）

fircattyUID: 166248

嗬嗬，改得好仔细，谢谢~~

（好象温室效应是二氧化碳的功劳，空调是臭氧空洞）.

好细心阿，我其实想说的是温度升高，恩，修改一下。

（感觉怪怪的，是不是想说我门不但应该而且必须？）.

正是，前一段其实说的是“应该”，现在开始讲“必须”，因为涉及到人类自身的生存。如果举个例子的话是会好很多，可是还没想到合适的例子：（

最后一段论证的太单薄，语言方面需要提高，感觉有些表达不太好。

这一点我有注意到，写完觉得很奇怪。前三段是一个观点（人类要管），最后一段可以说是一个观点（人类要有节制的管），两个都是观点，但比例却是3比1，这样好吗，我也不确定，想问问你们？？？

呵呵，总之谢谢你的意见，我好好消化一下

fircattyUID: 166248

字数大概620吧，因为第一次写，没有限时的，限时起来估计就差远了。

（我查了字典，有balance ... against ...的用法，这里可不可以？）

好认真，感动中~~放假没有带字典回家，有点郁闷，用的是带例句的诺亚州
banlance one side with(或by,against) another好像都可以，要改正的：）

[举例，蚊虫，或者蛇鼠对日常生活的影响]

同样的问题，这里确实缺乏例子

(这么强，我无话可说！)

这个....是反语吗......我也不知道可不可以这么假设，不知道有没有说服力

恐龙之类的无关人类的应该提到么？

我真的怕再写就收不住了....