ISSUE51 "决战830拍砖组™"8月14日 同主题高频狂练,请兄弟们狂拍

林森森UID: 163922

Issue51  让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！464 words
------题目------
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
------正文-----

Education, generally considered to be a means of improving one's morals and faculties, which used to be performed to meet the average need of student, has now been commonly believed necessary to be more specifically designed and student-centered.

The last decade has witnessed the essential role  teacher-centered education played in China, which ignores the individual needs, proved a failure. From elementary school to college and universities, it was quite common to have a scene in classroom that a teacher, in front of whom there were at least 50 students, was transmitting democratic values or scientific knowledge. Specifically, in some pool or rural areas, there were always more than 70 students crowded in a classroom less than 15 square meters with only one teacher teaching. We can imagine through our common sense that such teacher-centered education would never meet all the students' individual needs. Because, apparently, the prior students asked for more what was supplied whilst the developing students cannot always catch up with the single teacher. And consequently, the student under the education system could seldom own personality.

  However, the education system of many western countries such as the United States attaches much more importance to individuals and thus leads to their individuality. Classes of 15 students or less with one teacher, which seem extravagancy to Chinese school leaders, are quite common in the United States. As a result of this education, the American students are generally more versatile in many aspect such as experiment compared with Chinese ones. Most famous educators in China last year argued that the education system urgently desired for innovation in a nationwide conference. They advocated to introduce elements of American education system that are positive to educate a individual to gain his or her personality and practicing ability.  And hence, there have been a growing number of schools introduce small-scale class teaching in the past two years. A study raise by ECC (Education Committee of China) last month shew that students apparently benefited from this new system. It also shew that many of them were now much more active and capable in arguing in not only class but also public places. Such significant advance owes to the education system that regards individual needs and interests.

  However, all small-scale classes may also raise problems. For instance, too much freedom may lead a certain over-active student to conflict with teacher when asked to do homework. Then, to perform the new education system together with the traditional one will be rational.

  Overall, valid as the several unavoidable flaws the student-centered education suffers, it overwhelms  the traditional education system which is teacher-centered, as the two main example above have strongly suggested.  Aimed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, the student-centered education is almost the ideal system to choose.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-15 at 11:40 ]

yxepochUID: 2124411

Education, generally considered to be a means of improving one's morals and faculties, which used to be performed to meet the average need of student,这句话放在这里有种说不出的味道，建议改一改 has now been commonly believed necessary to be more specifically designed and student-centered.

The last decade has witnessed the essential role of teacher-centered education played in China, which ignores the individual needs, proved a failure.（虽然这句话有点绝对，但还是写地很漂亮的） From elementary school to college and universities, it was quite common to have a scene in classroom that a teacher, in front of whom there were at least 50 students,（改正这样怎么样？who possessing at least 50 listeners regardless of their willings) was transmitting democratic values or scientific knowledge. Specifically, in some pool or rural areas, there were always more than 70 students crowded in a classroom less than 15 square meters with only one teacher teaching. We can imagine through our common sense that such teacher-centered education would never meet all the students' individual needs. Because, apparently, the prior students asked for more what was supplied whilst the developing students cannot always catch up with the single teacher. And consequently, the student under the education system could seldom own personality.
这段写得很赞，思路清楚，用词精彩，赞赞赞！

However, the education system of many western countries such as the United States attaches much more importance to individuals and thus leads to their individuality. Classes of 15 students or less with one teacher, which seem extravagancy to Chinese school leaders, are quite common in the United States. As a result of this education, the American students are generally more versatile in many aspect such as experiment compared with Chinese ones. Most famous educators in China last year argued that the education system urgently desired for innovation in a nationwide conference. They advocated to introduce elements of American education system that are positive to educate a individual to gain his or her personality and practicing ability.  And hence, there have（has) been a growing number of schools introduce (introducing) small-scale(去掉scale吧） class teaching in the past two years. A study raise by ECC (Education Committee of China) last month shew（showed) that students apparently benefited from this new system. It also shew （showed)that many of them were now much more active and capable in arguing in not only class but also public places. Such significant advance owes to the education system that regards individual needs and interests.
没得说了，除了一些小的细节要多多注意。
However, all small-scale classes may also raise problems. For instance, too much freedom may lead a certain over-active student to conflict with teacher when asked to do homework. Then, to perform the new education system together with the traditional one will be rational.
这里的论据有点蜻蜓点水，我倒是更希望看到像上两段一样的论证，否则这一段就有点失去它的意义了。

  Overall, valid as the several unavoidable flaws the student-centered education suffers,（这一句诗不是写错了？student-centered education不是你所赞成的吗？怎么变成suffers the several unavoidable flaws了？还是我没有明白？） it overwhelms  the traditional education system which is teacher-centered, as the two main example above have strongly suggested.  Aimed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, the student-centered education is almost the ideal system to choose.

总的来说，我觉得这篇文章写地非常好，尤其是句子结构，不是人人都善于用倒装的，很赞，向你学习！

zhizhiUID: 2123761

Education, generally considered to be a means of improving one's morals and faculties, which used to be performed to meet the average改为general好一点吧 need of student, has now been commonly believed necessary to be more specifically designed and student-centered.

The last decade has witnessed the essential role  teacher-centered education played in China, which ignores the individual needs, proved a failure.（太绝对了吧 总该说的具体点 在那些方面比较失败 不要用一个proved a failure 把上个世纪中国教育都否了吧 这样没有说服力的） From elementary school to college and universities, it was quite common to have a scene in classroom that a teacher, in front of whom there were at least 50 students, was transmitting democratic values or scientific knowledge. Specifically, in some pool or rural areas, there were always more than 70 students crowded in a classroom less than 15 square meters with only one teacher teaching. We can imagine through our common sense that such teacher-centered education would never meet all the students' individual needs. Because, apparently, the prior students asked for more what was supplied whilst the developing students cannot always catch up with the single teacher. And consequently, the student under the education system could seldom own personality.
这一段在讲中国教育如何不能满足每个同学的需要 重点似乎应该放在不能满足每个人需要带来的negative effects 而不是谈怎样的教育不能满足需要。感觉有点偏题了。

  However, the education system of many western countries such as the United States attaches much more importance to individuals and thus leads to their individuality. Classes of 15 students or less with one teacher, which seem extravagancy to Chinese school leaders, are quite common in the United States. As a result of this education, the American students are generally more versatile in many aspect such as experiment compared with Chinese ones. Most famous educators in China last year argued that the education system urgently desired for innovation in a nationwide conference. They advocated to introduce elements of American education system that are positive to educate a individual to gain his or her personality and practicing ability.  And hence, there have been a growing number of schools introduce small-scale class teaching in the past two years. A study raise by ECC (Education Committee of China) last month shew that students apparently benefited from this new system. It also shew that many of them were now much more active and capable in arguing in not only class but also public places. Such significant advance owes to the education system that regards individual needs and interests.
这一段充分进行了比较，例子也比较多，整体感觉比较有力:)

  However, all small-scale classes may also raise problems. For instance, too much freedom may lead a certain over-active student to conflict with teacher when asked to do homework. Then, to perform the new education system together with the traditional one will be rational. 太单薄了 还没有结尾长 感觉很不协调的 建议把正文第一段的篇幅压缩一下（因为我觉得有点偏题了） 这一段在充分展开一些

  Overall, valid as the several unavoidable flaws the student-centered education suffers, it overwhelms  the traditional education system which is teacher-centered, as the two main example above have strongly suggested.  Aimed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, the student-centered education is almost the ideal system to choose.

语言不错 结构欠佳 加油！！:)