issue36 还有几天就考了，心里没底，请各位指点指点啊

balla13UID：2285271

TOPIC: ISSUE36 - "The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."
WORDS: 611          TIME: 1:09:54          DATE: 2007-3-28

    The statement claims that how significant a person is can only be judged by the people who live after him or her. In my observation, whether the greatness of an individual can be determined depends on whether a justified standard for evaluation is presented. To this extent, I basically agree with the statement, since in most cases, time is necessary for establishing that standard or for establishing it more accurately.

    First of all, the greatness of individuals cannot be appreciated by their contemporaries in large part is due to their outstanding talent and their transcendental intelligence which surpass the common cognition of general public and their peers. Lacking the equitable criterion for evaluation, the great person's masterpiece was always neglected or even jeered by their contemporaries. Consider, for example, Beethoven's splendid works were totally dismissed by the esteemed critics of his time, for they viewed those "strange" symphonies as an unconventional challenge to the old classical Hayden, who they believed to be the paragon. Or consider, Van Gogh, the most important post-impressionist, sold only one of his works during his lifetime. Not until his eminent talent was unearthed by the later generations, can he become one of the best-selling artists in the western world.

    It is similar when comes to the realm of science, in that it might take a long time even up to centuries, to test the validity of theories and ideas. Great scientific theories, more often than not, which serve as transcendental generalization of scientific phenomenons, would inevitably challenge the established thoughts and concepts. In the absence of evaluated standard, the newly found theories were always overlooked by people in that period of time. For instance, Gregor Mendel, an Austrian priest, dedicated eight years in collecting data from his hybridization experiment that was carried on the plant of peas. Hinged on the precious statistics accumulated, he drew the conclusion of three Principles of Inheritance, which he later published on a scientific journal and sent to several scientific organizations including the Royal Society of Great Britain, the world's biggest scientific organization at that time, nevertheless, no one responded. Since then, Mendel's considerable discovery had been buried for nearly 40 years. It was until the year of 1900, 16 years after his death, when three scientists from different countries finally realized the
marvelous significance of his work, Mendel, the "lost and found genius", eventually got his fame as "the Father of Genetics". In short, time is usually crucial for testing the validity of scientific theories, which makes those who live after the individuals to be justified evaluators for their greatness.

    However, exceptions always exist. It is pretty likely to recognize the greatness of individuals who are in the realm of business or sport. No one would deny that Bill Gates is one of the greatest business leaders in the modern world, for the tremendous profit that he has made by the founding of Microsoft can be recognized and be easily compared with other entrepreneurs. What's more, no one would deny that Michael Jordan is one of the greatest basketball players ever, for the six NBA championships he has made turn out to be an unparalleled symbol obvious to all basketball fans around the world.
   
    In sum, whether the greatness of individuals can only be determined by their contemporaries or not should be considered case by case. In some particular fields, like business and sport, where the standard for evaluation could be readily established, it is possible for the contemporaries to define a person's greatness, while in other fields where that standard must be built overtime, the task of evaluation can only be passed to their successors.

本人水平有限，如不嫌弃愿回拍，希望大家能交流提高～

[ 本帖最后由 lastangel 于 2007-3-28 09:33 编辑 ]

宇文化天UID：2236904

总的来说觉得这篇文章还不错，如果在考试的时候有这个发挥就值得祝贺了，结构和例子都还较合理，还能够有让步，但是如果时间不多的话，现在应该开始限时了吧，毕竟在考试的时间里要写出六百多字的文章还是有些难度的，加油~~

balla13UID：2285271

原帖由 宇文化天 于 2007-3-28 08:26 发表
总的来说觉得这篇文章还不错，如果在考试的时候有这个发挥就值得祝贺了，结构和例子都还较合理，还能够有让步，但是如果时间不多的话，现在应该开始限时了吧，毕竟在考试的时间里要写出六百多字的文章还是有些难 ...

谢谢这位兄弟的鼓励，大家一起加油吧～

iq28UID：2152875

    The statement claims that how (个人题目说的偏向whether而不是how) significant a person is can only be judged by the people who live after him or her. In my observation, whether the greatness of an individual can be determined depends on whether a justified standard for evaluation is presented. (这个观念个人觉得很好,超脱于时代之外) To this extent, I basically agree with the statement, since in most cases, time is necessary for establishing that standard or for establishing it more accurately. (非常bingo的开头,给出观念,还给出支持观念的最基本理由)

    First of all, the greatness of individuals cannot be appreciated by their contemporaries in large part is due to their outstanding talent and their transcendental intelligence which surpass the common cognition of general public and their peers. (ts长而不乱.good) Lacking the equitable criterion for evaluation, the great person's masterpiece (不要用这个词,否则就局限在艺术领域了) was always neglected or even jeered by their contemporaries. Consider, for example, Beethoven's splendid works were totally dismissed by the esteemed critics of his time, for they viewed those "strange" symphonies as an unconventional challenge to the old classical Hayden, who they believed to be the paragon. (稍微有一点点偏.更加适合论证挑战传统,叙述的时候应该更加注意讲出时代的局限性导致了贝多芬同学被忽视.不过例子的相关性到了这个程度已经完全足够了.我说的只是希望你的例子能够更加bingo一点) Or consider, Van Gogh, the most important post-impressionist, sold only one of his works during his lifetime. Not until his eminent talent was unearthed by the later generations, can he become one of the best-selling artists in the western world. (例子不错,但是整个段落的正面论证太少.当然这个观念的段落本身用例子来阐述也是不错的选择.不错的段落.没有太多可以改的地方)

    It is similar when comes to the realm of science, (怪不得你上一段用masterpiece,原来是分领域说的.不过你上一段的开头没有点明讲艺术领域.这个是一大失误) in that it might take a long time even up to centuries, to test (这个词读了很有感觉.good) the validity of theories and ideas. Great scientific theories, more often than not, which serve as transcendental generalization of scientific phenomenons, would inevitably challenge the established thoughts and concepts. (bingo) In the absence of evaluated standard, the newly found theories were always overlooked by people in that period of time. (相对于前面一句这一句的力度反而下降了) For instance, Gregor Mendel, an Austrian priest, dedicated eight years in collecting data from his hybridization experiment that was carried on the plant of peas. (如何发现这些理论的过程和论证基本无关,不要说了) Hinged on the precious statistics accumulated, he drew the conclusion of three Principles of Inheritance, which he later (语序读了不是很舒服.later放在句尾吧) published on a scientific journal and sent to several scientific organizations including the Royal Society of Great Britain, the world's biggest scientific organization at that time, nevertheless, no one responded. Since then, Mendel's considerable discovery had been buried for nearly 40 years. It was until the year of 1900, 16 years after his death, when three scientists from different countries finally realized the marvelous significance of his work, Mendel, the "lost and found genius", eventually got his fame as "the Father of Genetics". (例子实在太长了.尝试着用三分之一的篇幅改写这个例子) In short, time is usually crucial for testing the validity of scientific theories, which makes those who live after the individuals to be justified evaluators for their greatness. (段尾论证只是重复前面的观念没有得到升华)

    However, exceptions always exist. It is pretty likely to recognize the greatness of individuals who are in the realm of business or sport. (跟大讲堂上面的观念好像啊...) No one would deny that Bill Gates is one of the greatest business leaders in the modern world, for the tremendous profit that he has made by the founding of Microsoft can be recognized and be easily compared with other entrepreneurs. What's more, no one would deny that Michael Jordan is one of the greatest basketball players ever, for the six NBA championships he has made turn out to be an unparalleled symbol obvious to all basketball fans around the world. (连例子都是一样的.不好的倾向.而且本段也没有论证.不好)
   
    In sum, whether the greatness of individuals can only be determined by their contemporaries or not should be considered case by case. (总结) In some particular fields, like business and sport, where the standard for evaluation could be readily established, it is possible for the contemporaries to define a person's greatness, while in other fields where that standard must be built overtime, the task of evaluation can only be passed to their successors.

语言不错
段间层次因为用了分领域的方法
所以也没有太大问题
段内的例子丰富但是过于冗长
论证还不错,就是太少.
4分的文章吧
继续努力

dameiUID：2305209

这样的文章也就四分啊，不是把，受打击。
我还没LZ写的好呢

balla13UID：2285271

感谢斑竹的辛勤劳动，我一定仔细领会！

balla13UID：2285271

原帖由 damei 于 2007-3-29 17:25 发表
这样的文章也就四分啊，不是把，受打击。
我还没LZ写的好呢

过奖了，非限时之作，没有代表性，呵呵

losinggripUID：2228853

靠，这么牛比的作文还抖啊，老子上上礼拜考也就500来个字。考的时候哪有这么多时间想啊，当然是拔起来就写了，随意了，表抖了

iq28UID：2152875

原帖由 losinggrip 于 2007-3-29 19:56 发表
靠，这么牛比的作文还抖啊，老子上上礼拜考也就500来个字。考的时候哪有这么多时间想啊，当然是拔起来就写了，随意了，表抖了

what do you mean by '抖' ?

balla13UID：2285271

响应斑竹号召，发修改版。

    The statement claims that how significant a person is can only be judged by the people who live after him or her. In my observation, whether the greatness of an individual can be determined depends on whether a justified standard for evaluation is presented. To this extent, I basically agree with the statement, since in most cases, time is necessary for establishing that standard or for establishing it more accurately.
   
    First of all, the greatness of individuals cannot be appreciated by their contemporaries in large part is due to their outstanding talent and their transcendental intelligence which surpass the common cognition of general public and their peers. In the realm of art, lacking the equitable criterion for evaluation, the great person's masterpiece was always neglected or even jeered by their contemporaries. Consider, for example, Beethoven's splendid works were totally dismissed by the esteemed critics of his time, for they viewed those "strange" symphonies as an unconventional challenge to the old classical style, which they believed to be the paragon. Or consider, Van Gogh, one of the most important post-impressionists, sold only one of his paintings during his lifetime. Not until his eminent talent was unearthed by the later generations, can he become one of the best-selling artists in the western world.
   
    It is similar when comes to the realm of science, in that it might take a long time even up to centuries, to test the validity of theories and ideas. Great scientific theory, more often than not, which serves as transcendental generalization of scientific phenomena, would inevitably challenge the established thoughts and concepts. Therefore, the newly found theories were always overlooked by people in that period of time. For instance, Gregor Mendel, an Austrian priest, proposed the three Principles of Inheritance based on his hybridization experiment carried out on peas in 1862. Before long, he published his discovery on a scientific journal and sent it to several famous scholars, however, no one responded. It was until the year of 1900, 16 years after his death, when three scientists from different countries finally realized the marvelous significance of his work, Mendel, the "lost and found genius", eventually got his fame as "the Father of Genetics". In short, time is usually crucial for testing the validity of scientific theories, which makes those who live after the individuals to be justified evaluators for their greatness.
   
    Nonetheless, exceptions always exist. It is pretty likely to recognize the greatness of individuals who are in the realm of business or sport. It is always facile to measure the wealth created by a businessman, which is widely accepted to be the evaluator for the achievement of a businessman. Likewise, how many champions does a sportsman attain is always regarded as the standard of success. Hence, no one would deny that Warren Buffet is one of the greatest businessmen, Mark Spitz is an unparalleled swimmer, or Tiger Woods is the most successful golfer in the world.

    In sum, whether the greatness of individuals can only be determined by their contemporaries or not should be considered case by case. In some particular fields, like business and sport, where the standard for evaluation could be readily established, it is possible for the contemporaries to define a person's greatness, while in other fields where that standard must be built over time, the task of evaluation can only be passed to their successors.