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[活动] 〖TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组写作 奔跑蜗牛 第二次作业 〗 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-7 23:12:30 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 奔跑蜗牛 于 2009-2-7 23:13 编辑

There is no consensus among people as to such an argument that whether a wise friend is more important than a humorous one. Face this complex question, points varies from person to person, some people maintain that a humorous friend is more important than a bright one, because nobody likes to stay with a piece of wood, and being humorous makes one popular. While others disagree. From my personal alone, the latter is coincides with mine, a wise friend is more important than a humorous one.

Fist of all, we can learn more from a friend who is smart than from a humorous one. We can learn his or her unique way of thinking and handing things or profound knowledge. For instance, I have a friend who is very not only intelligent, but also have more common sense. After having fresh seafood, he forbids us from consuming anything which contains much vitamin C, because it will generate arsenic, which is highly toxic and may kill people for several seconds. I take pride in my friend for his intelligence.

Matching learning more knowledge and the way of thing or handing things is that they can help us when we have troubles, no matter physical or on work. We can share our problems and get proper help from him or her to solve them. Once we do not know how to finish my homework because I have not borrowed the right book from the library. But he fond the useful information through the internet. Thanks to his help I finish my paper on time and got a high praise on my classmates.

Finally, a wise friend might be a good example for you to learn and a challenge to catch up with her or him. When you see your friend got a reward from a competence, we can have more motivation to have the equal to him or her. Then we will try our best to improve ourselves ceaselessly. We can learn the way of finding and solving problems, even change the old and conservative way of thinking and doing things.

To conclude, friend is very important to influence each other, so I prefer making wise friend to humorous one, because I can receive more significant and helpful things from him or her.
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沙发
发表于 2009-2-8 13:05:19 |只看该作者
1# 奔跑蜗牛

There is no consensus among people as to such an argument that whether a wise friend is more important than a humorous one. Face this complex question, points varies from person to person, some people maintain that a humorous friend is more important than a bright one, because nobody likes to stay with a piece of wood, and being humorous makes one popular. While others disagree. From my personal alone, the latter is coincides with mine, a wise friend is more important than a humorous one.(开头很流畅,读起来很舒服尤其是face打头的那个句子,阐述得满到位的)

Fist(笔误吧) of all, we can learn more from a friend who is smart than from a humorous one. We can learn his or her unique way of thinking(learn from会好一些) and handing things or profound knowledge. For instance, I have a friend who is very not only intelligent(not only放到very前面), but also have(这是has,这个谓语是属于a friend的) more common sense. After having fresh seafood, he forbids us from consuming anything which contains much vitamin C, because it will generate arsenic, which is highly toxic and may kill people for several seconds. I take pride in(take pride in sth比较常见,但是不晓得这一句错不错。。。。) my friend for his intelligence. 这一段的例子很好,自然简短又不失深度。


Matching learning more knowledge and the way of thing or handing things is that they can help us when we have troubles, no matter physical or on work(no matter这一句没怎么看懂). We can share our problems and get proper help from him or her to solve them. Once we do not know how to finish my homework because I have not borrowed the right book from the library. But he fond(笔误) the useful information through the internet.(感觉这一句和前一句没联系,看到后面才知道是帮我找的,加上“for me”或许更加的流畅)Thanks to his help I finish my paper on time and got a high praise on my classmates.


Finally, a wise friend might be a good example for you to learn and a challenge to catch up with her or him(这里为什么要her在前面。。。。全文都是him or her except这一句). When you see your friend got a reward from a competence, we can have more motivation to have the equal to him or her. Then we will try our best to improve ourselves ceaselessly. We can learn the way of finding and solving problems, even change the old and conservative way of thinking and doing things.

c  A
To conclude, friend is very important to influence each other, so I prefer making wise friend to humorous one, because I can receive more significant and helpful things from him or her.


感觉作者的水平很高,全文上下非常流畅,例证自然,说理清楚,阐释到位。
至于一些小错误,只需谨慎,便可避免。

推荐一个好句子Face this complex question, points varies from person to person, some people maintain that a humorous friend is more important than a bright one, because nobody likes to stay with a piece of wood, and being humorous makes one popular.
我满喜欢那个插入语“points varies from person to person” ,然后a piece of wood我自己从来没用过,感觉很新奇,呵呵~~~

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板凳
发表于 2009-2-9 22:53:12 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 duduyan11 于 2009-2-9 22:54 编辑

〖TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组写作 奔跑蜗牛 第二次作业 〗
本帖最后由 奔跑蜗牛 于 2009-2-7 23:13 编辑 , W5 |, N/ d% @( @
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There is no consensus among people as to such an argument that whether a wise friend is more important than a humorous one. Face this complex question, points varies from person to person, some people maintain that a humorous friend is more important than a bright one, because nobody likes to stay with a piece of wood, and being humorous makes one popular. While others disagree. From my personal alone, the latter is coincides with mine, a wise friend is more important than a humorous one.

K1 ?" T' z- d: S! D
Fist First of all, we can learn more from a friend who is smart than from a humorous one. We can learn his or her unique way of thinking and handing things or profound knowledge. For instance, I have a friend who is not only (very) intelligent, but also have more common sense. After having fresh seafood, he forbids us from consuming anything which contains much vitamin C, because it will generate arsenic, which is highly toxic and may kill people for several seconds. I take pride in my friend for his intelligence.

0 \) I
Matching learning more knowledge and the way of thing or handing things is that they can help us when we have troubles, no matter  physical or on work. We can share our problems and get proper help from him or her to solve them. Once we do not know how to finish my homework because I have not borrowed the right book from the library. But  , (fortunately) he fond (found) the useful information through the internet. Thanks to his help I finish my paper on time and got a high praise on my classmates. / M; Z$ O# k; p(

N. e, i5 d5 Q* `1 b
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Finally, a wise friend might be a good example for you to learn and a challenge to catch up with her or him. When you see your friend got a reward from a competence, we can (may) have more motivation to have the equal to him or her. Then we will try our best to improve ourselves ceaselessly. We can learn the way of finding and solving problems, and even change the old and conservative way of thinking and doing things.
& N) z0 [5 c3 U' w  n& @8 b ; m, j* v! _* X8 X2 l# K
To conclude, friend is very important to influence each other (friend is to me what the foundation is to a skyscraper) , so I prefer making wise (intelligent ) friend to humorous one, because I can receive more significant and helpful things from him or her.

文章举得例子很很好,吃海鲜之后不能吃含维生素C的食物,遇到困难时帮助你,作为竞争对手超过他。例子举的很有说服力


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地板
发表于 2009-2-9 23:29:22 |只看该作者
谢谢楼上两位的斧正

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RE: 〖TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组写作 奔跑蜗牛 第二次作业 〗 [修改]
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