〖TOEFL 4—6月-Dark_Tournament小组写作 水龙娃娃的 第六次作业〗

水龙娃娃UID: 2359238

agree or disagree: The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.(08.3.2)

With holding an increasing amount of possession and being necessary to have relax activities as to release the frustration or pressure from the work, millions of people prefer to have a gorgeous trip rather than do other things. However, there is no consensus among people whether they should travel in a group led by a tour guide or not. From my point of view , traveling in a tour group is the best way for people.

First of all, the tourists could understand the spot or the scenery they visit more clearly with participating in the group led by the tour guide. Because the not only the travel agency can arrange for people to have a best travel which would suit the visitors better ,but the guide can give people a profound speech about the spot to make them acknowledge more information. For instance, foreigners would like to visit China while they do not really know that where they could go and that which is the best way for people to appreciate China. At that time, no way is better than joining in a tour group. From that way, they could stand on the Great Wall with a feeling of its brilliance after they are told the history of it as well as listen to a royal story happening in Chinese ancient times narrated by the tour guide when walking in the Forbidden City. If they just travel on their own , they cannot be able to understand the place or issues better and do not remember it eventually.

Moreover, entering a tour group also a convenient and time-saving way for people to travel the place where they want to. Tremendous people have an evanescent vacation in daily life and we could imagine that if people are willing to travel to one place where they have never been before, they, with no doubt to hesitate, would choose to join in a tour group for they do not be worry about the route and schedule of the travel and enjoy the trip on a large scale. What’s more, the expenditure of joining the tour group for one person would be less than the one of traveling alone. Thus, why not to enter one tour group led by the tour guide if they could save money, time and energy.

Last but not least, people can make friends when they have their marvelous trip and share their happiness others in the group on one hand for happiness which would be given off to friends around them can be the real one. On the other hand , there will be best help from the tour group when any member of the group has problems .Therefore , people would learn to share and help with gaining the happiness and energy.

Consequently, the best way for people to travel is in a group led by the tour guide due to the all benefits I have mentioned above such as better understanding of the spot, convenience and time-saving of people’s trip and the advantage of making more friends.

子期的美国梦UID: 2588133

With holding an increasing amount of possession and being necessary to have relax activities as to release the frustration or pressure from the work, millions of people prefer to have a gorgeous trip rather than do other things. However, there is no consensus among people whether they should travel in a group led by a tour guide or not. From my point of view , traveling in a tour group is the best way for people.4 M: w2 Q5 d( p7 ~9 V+ S

First of all, the tourists could understand the spot or the scenery they visit more clearly with participating in the group led by the tour guide. Because the not only the travel agency can arrange for people to have a best travel which would suit the visitors better ,but the guide can give people a profound speech about the spot to make them acknowledge more information. For instance, foreigners would like to visit China while they do not really know that where they could go and that which（which指代这句话的什么？而且that which 的搭配也不对） is the best way for people to appreciate China. At that time, no way（no way 是“绝不”的意思，你用在这里，表达不正确。你可以用no manner，表达没有任何方法方式） is better than joining in a tour group. From that way（搭配错误。记住way不能乱用，way的搭配比较讲究。你可以改为，By the means of such manner）, they could stand on the Great Wall with a feeling of （改为with feeling about）its brilliance after they are told the history of it as well as listen to
（listen to 是听~~讲话，后面应该接的是人，而不是物和事。把to去掉）a royal story happening in （应改为that happened in）Chinese ancient times narrated by the tour guide when walking in the Forbidden City. If they just（just可以去掉）travel on their own , they cannot be able to understand the place（改为understand about the place） or issues （issue在这里表达什么观点？）better and do not remember it eventually.


Moreover, entering a tour group (用joining in a tour group是否好一些呢？)also a convenient and time-saving way for people to travel the place where they want to（后面加个go）. Tremendous（用increasing，来表示越来越多的，对表达上更好一些） people have an（只有一个假期？） evanescent（evanescent这个词用得不错！）
vacation in daily life and we could imagine that if people are willing to travel to one place where they have never been before, they（they，为什么单独放出来？插入语？显得底气不足，而且莫名其妙，你可以在把they 放到would choose~~~~）， with no doubt to hesitate, would choose to join in a tour group for they do not be （be去掉）worry about the route and schedule of the travel and enjoy the trip on a large scale. （大规模享受这次旅行？你干脆直接说，spend more time on enjoy the trip,花更多时间在享受旅途上不更啊好吗？）What’s more, the expenditure of joining （in）
the (把the 改为a)tour group for one person would be less than the one of traveling alone. Thus, why not to enter one tour group led by the （the不要乱用，the是特指，在这里，你只能用a）tour guide if they could save money, time and energy.（看不懂，they你是指代什么？同时你这句话的表达也有问题，不知道你要表达什么）

Last but not least, people can make friends when they have their marvelous trip and share their happiness （with）others in the group（你这里没有停顿吗？不加标点收尾一句话吗？） on （改为On）one hand for happiness which would be given off to friends around them can be the real one.（结构表达上有问题。） On the other hand , there will be best help from the tour group when any member of the group has problems .（表达太初级，可以替换为in cause of an emergency 或是 encounter the awkward situation）Therefore , people would learn to share （share 的用法一般是share sth with sb，不要单独使用）and help with gaining the happiness and energy.2 W0 q/ Y$ }& `) R8 N


& |8 Z

Consequently, the best way for people to travel is in a group led by the（the改为a） tour guide due to the all benefits I have mentioned above such as better understanding of （把of改为about）the spot, convenience and time-saving of people’s trip and the advantage of making more friends.

小建议：词语的搭配和用法上出现很多问题，可能是语法不太好的缘故吧。而且词汇用得都比较初级。逻辑上还是感觉不够紧密，表达上也有些问题。开头和结尾还算合格，但是中间出现的问题太多。以后要注意。优点就是最后一段，我觉得写得不错，观点很鲜明，而且把之前的理由都规整了一遍，不错的结尾，让人一看就很清晰，但尽是最后一段。加油！