][TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 第7次作业]

duduyan11UID: 2591951

Do you agree with the following statement: nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment –things they like to do—rather than the things they should do.


With the development of society , there are an increasing amount of activities for enjoyment.At the same time , every one wants to be successful .Nevertheless , it is somewhat childshid to  think that we can be successful by only doing what we enjoy doing . People often are amazed by the glorious apparenc of the skyscraper , however , they forget the fact that the skyscraper have taken a long time to construct , even longer time to design , and even costs people 's lives during the constructing  process .As far as i am concerned nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment things they like to do rather than the things they should do.

We may categorize things into twe groups :the enjoyable and the unenjoyable , at the same time , another category can be made : the necessary and the unnecessary . The point is , things that are necessary are not always enjoyable and things that are enjoyable maybe sometimes are unnecessary . Doing things  that are necessary rather than those enjoyable is not only helpfull but might also be indipensable for individual  sucess .
We all admire even envy those who now have attained great achievements ,such those famous stars as Jacky
Chen, jet Li .Jacky Chen once said that when he was a teenager he was required to practice more than 12 hours a day and it is said that Jet Li was sent to be an apprence when he was hardly 4 years old . Apprently , those  seemingly cruel hardships have turned out to be the best gifts latter . But for yesterday 's struggle, today 's glorious could not exist.


Things that are enjoyable and necessary or things that are unenjoyable and unnecessary virtually seldom exist . We may dislike some curriculums in university , such as mathematic or history ,but they are necessary ; we may prefer leisure times to work days , but latter are indispensable . Pursuing a successful life nothing more than making a wise disicion , by wise we mean the choce of doing the necessary first .

In conclusion, I think most of people , nowadays , spent too much time on do what they should do rather than enjoyment . I suggest we should take measures to guide people to spend reasonable time on work or study so that we can enjoy more happy in both enterprise and daily life.

奔跑蜗牛UID: 2579189

占楼 明天改好

rainbowstarwqcUID: 2597917

占楼，明天改，lz晚安

With the development of society , there are an increasing amount of activities(amount 后面跟的是单数，建议改为number) for enjoyment(recreation).At the same time(While simultaneously) , every one wants to be successful .Nevertheless , it is somewhat childshid(naive) to  think that we can be successful by only doing what we enjoy doing . People often are amazed by the glorious apparence(appearance) of the skyscraper (skyscrapers 泛指，不用the), however , they forget the fact that skyscrapers require a long time to construct , even longer time to design , and even costs people 's lives during the constructing  process .（这里可以直接用习语，Rome is not build in one day）As far as i am concerned nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment things they like to do rather than the things they should do.. ~1 Q% J7 A  u2 |$ z" m- z3 l

/ ~% C) s( U- E8 a) l9 mWe may categorize things into twe groups :the enjoyable and the unenjoyable (没这种单词吧不能自己杜撰), at the same time（重复，转折就用however） , another category can be made : the necessary and the unnecessary . The point is , things that are necessary are not always enjoyable and things that are enjoyable maybe sometimes are unnecessary . Doing things  that are necessary rather than those enjoyable is not only helpfull but might also be indipensable for individual  sucess .

4 v$ x& q% a" c2 U+ {6 ]We all admire even envy （中式表达，去掉even…）those who now have attained great achievements ,such those famous stars as Jacky  j! L' m, y* h6 E  R; Chen(such as。。。), jet Li .Jacky Chen once (have)said that when he was a teenager he was required to practice more than 12 hours a day and,(y要递进要用连接词，moreover) it is said that Jet Li was sent to be an apprentice when he was hardly 4 years old . (这一段是书上抄来的吧，托福高分作文)Apprently（apparently） , those  seemingly cruel hardships have turned out to be the best gifts latter . But for（without）yesterday 's struggle, today 's glorious could not exist.
; ]1 |- A4 V. [: v8 M0 t2 M  m! \0 t/ w! G% H2 P! G

9 P2 ^: h! k0 w: g$ RThings that are enjoyable and necessary or things that are unenjoyable and unnecessary virtually seldom exist . We may dislike some curriculums in university , such as mathematic or history ,but they are necessary ; we may prefer leisure times to work days , but latter are indispensable . Pursuing a successful life nothing more than making a wise disicion , by wise we mean the choce of doing the necessary first .
  B5 Z! E2 q5 U5 u! d8 C3 l7 {! p" U% h: w2 m
In conclusion, I think most of people , nowadays , spent too much time on do what they should do rather than enjoyment . I suggest we should take measures to guide people to spend reasonable time on work or study so that we can enjoy more happy in both enterprise and daily life.

1.
首先，我认为你审题有错误，你写的是奋斗的重要性，而题目问你的是现在的人是否在娱乐活动上花费了太多的时间。
2.
语法错误狠多，后面两段我就不改了，去翻翻书吧
3.
议论的狠牵强，没有说服力，成龙的例子和李连杰的例子想说明什么？
4.
注意单词的拼写，错误太多，而且有些用的不合时宜，建议平时多做摘录
总之，还需要投入时间下苦工，楼主加油！拍砖过狠，勿怪，that is all for your good

liurui8802UID: 2595045

Do you agree with the following statement: nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment –things they like to do—rather than the things they should do.  B! ?& n4 U. }
# z; s8 {9 H+ \  i
, F' ^1 a: J4 D6 o, B& G( q
With the development of society , there （are）is an increasing amount of activities for enjoyment.At the same time , every one wants to be successful .Nevertheless , it is somewhat childhood（childish) to  think that we can be successful by only doing what we enjoy doing 删掉. People often are amazed by the glorious apparent of the skyscraper , however , they forget the fact that the skyscraper have taken a long time to construct , even longer time to design , and even costs people 's lives during the constructing  process .As far as i am concerned nowadays people spend too much time on personal enjoyment things删掉 they like to do rather than the things they should do.: E/ Z8 _3 z$ O: q8 D3 {4 v

We may categorize things into tue groups :the enjoyable and the unendurable , at the same time , another category can be made : the necessary and the unnecessary . The point is , things that are necessary are not always enjoyable and things that are enjoyable maybe sometimes are unnecessary . Doing things  that are necessary rather than those enjoyable is not only helpful but might also be indispensable for individual's
success .
We all admire even envy those who now have attained great achievements ,such those famous stars as Jacky
Chen, jet Li .Jacky Chen once said that when he was a teenager he was required to practice more than 12 hours a day and it is said that Jet Li was sent to be an apprence拼写 when he was hardly 4 years old . Apprently , those  seemingly cruel hardships have turned out to be the best gifts latter . But for yesterday 's struggle, today 's glorious could not exist. # i; f6 Z+ K) ?% E; U5 R


Things that are enjoyable and necessary or things that are unendurable and unnecessary virtually seldom exist . We may dislike some curriculums in university , such as mathematic or history ,but they are necessary ; we may prefer leisure times to work days , but latter are indispensable . Pursuing a successful life nothing more than making a wise disicion , by wise we mean the choce of doing the necessary first .+ z! a1 r) w  d9 p- {# d

In conclusion, I think most of people , nowadays , spent too much time on do what they should do rather than enjoyment意思表达反了吧？ . I suggest we should take measures to guide people to spend reasonable time on work or study so that we can enjoy more (happy)happiness in both enterprise and daily life.

明显是李笑来作文上的，例子句子都一样，但是有很多拼写错误，就不在此改正了。建议平时练习的时候还是自己写写，考试时候大家都写成一样，估计分数也高不了