【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组Grace.TT第八次作业】

grace.TTUID: 2534695

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.（08.3.15）

Land problem is currently of great concern to the nation,to the world, and to human beings.Maybe some think that human needs should come before animal needs in any case when making decisions about land use.While I agree that human needs should have primary consideration,human have a responsibility to protect the land that endangered animals call home.

One of the important reasons to protect endangered animals is that the absence of certain animals would damage the delicate ecological balance of nature.In the past, there have been many endangered animals. Now they are extinct. Does it matter? Has our environment been affected by their absence? Has the quality of our own life been changed? The answer to these questions is "Yes." It does matter if human beings destroy an endangered species habitat to develop more farmland, housing or industrial parks. If one small part is removed, it will affect all the other parts. For example, if certain trees are cut down, bats will have no place to roost. If they cannot roost, they cannot breed. If there are no bats, there will be no animal, or bird to eat certain insects that plague our crops.Human’s environment has been affected by the absence of certain animals.I’ll take another example.Certain flowers are pollinated by butterflies which migrate from Canada to Mexico. Some of the breeding grounds of these butterflies were destroyed. Now these flowers are disappearing from certain areas. We will no longer be able to enjoy their beauty.The quality of our life has been changed.

Moreover,humans may learn a lot from endangered species.Let’s take the field of medicine as example.By observing a species of endangered monkeys in South America,scientists have discovered that monkeys eat a kind of plant when they get sick.Through research the scientists discovered that this plant also has medical value for humans.If the monkey’s habitat had been destroyed to create more farmland,not only would we lose the monkeys,we would also lose life-saving medicines and the potential for medical research.

This shining water that moves in streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors.The waters murmur is the voice of my father’s father.The balance of many natural habitats is still not well understood and humans interfere in it at their peril.We should all remember that the land is of the people,by the people and for the people.

jackie1983UID: 2484456

Land problem is currently of great concern to the nation, to the world, and to human beings. Maybe some think that human needs should come before animal needs in any case when making decisions about land use. While I agree that human needs should have primary consideration, human have a responsibility to protect the land that endangered animals call home.

(开篇明确提出自己的观点，很好)
of the important reasons to protect endangered animals is that the absence of certain animals would damage the delicate ecological balance of nature.In the past, there have been many endangered animals. Now they are extinct. Does it matter? Has our environment been affected by their absence? Has the quality of our own life been changed? The answer to these questions is "Yes." It does matter if human beings destroy an endangered species(species’) habitat to develop more farmland, housing or industrial parks. If one small part is removed, it will affect all the other parts. For example, if certain trees are cut down, bats will have no place to roost. If they cannot roost, they cannot breed. If there are no bats, there will be no animal, or bird to eat certain insects that plague our crops.Human’s environment has been affected by the absence of certain animals.I’ll take another example.Certain flowers are pollinated by butterflies which migrate from Canada to Mexico. Some of the breeding grounds of these butterflies were destroyed. Now these flowers are disappearing from certain areas. We will no longer be able to enjoy their beauty.The quality of our life has been changed.
(用两个例子来说明本段主题句，不错)
& ?9 r  S- |4 r$ s! y9 x' Z5 r* z
Moreover, humans may learn a lot from endangered species. Let’s take the field of medicine as (加个an) example. By observing a species of endangered monkeys in South America, scientists have discovered that monkeys eat a kind of plant when they get sick. Through research the scientists discovered that this plant also has medical value for humans.If the monkey’s habitat had been destroyed to create more farmland,not only would we lose the monkeys,we would also lose life-saving medicines and the potential for medical research.
- I  N/ D) r! F1 G; H% I' R1 V
This shining water that moves in streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors. The water’s murmur is the voice of my father’s father.The balance of many natural habitats is still not well understood and humans interfere in it at their peril. We should all remember that the land is of the people,by the people and for the people.
文末小结。
很精彩的一片作文，结构，例子的选取，语法都不错，赞！

grace.TTUID: 2534695

2# jackie1983

谢谢～希望以后有机会拜读你的文章！

capricon2006UID: 2278984

Land problem is currently of great concern to the nation, to the world, and to human beings. Maybe some (people) think that human needs should come before animal needs in any case when making decisions about land use. While (while 表对比，这里用though表让步可能比较好吧) I agree that human needs should have（be） primary consideration, human have a responsibility to protect the land that endangered animals call home.(不知道你那样表达是否正确，我改成“that’s home to endangered animals”肯定是没有错的（见旧托福听力PARTC）)'

One of the important reasons to protect endangered animals is that the absence of certain animals would damage the delicate ecological balance of nature. In the past, there have been many endangered animals. Now they are extinct. Does it matter? Has our environment been affected by their absence? Has the quality of our own life（lives） been changed? The answer to these questions is "Yes." It does matter if human beings destroy an endangered species habitat to develop more farmland(这句话读起来很不舒服), housing or industrial parks. If one small part is removed, it will affect all the other parts（all the other parts will be affected）. For example, if certain trees are cut down, bats will have no place to roost. If they cannot roost, they cannot breed. If there are no bats, there will be no animal, or bird to eat certain insects that plague our crops.Human’s environment has been affected by the absence of certain animals.I’ll take another example.Certain flowers are pollinated by butterflies which migrate from Canada to Mexico. Some of the breeding grounds of these butterflies were destroyed. Now these flowers are disappearing from certain areas. We will no longer be able to enjoy their beauty.The quality of our life has been changed(这第二个例子……很无语).

Moreover,humans（有复数？） may learn a lot from endangered species. Let’s take the field of medicine as（for） example.By observing a species of endangered monkeys(a species of monkey that is close to extinct) in South America, scientists have discovered that monkeys eat a kind of plant when they get sick.Through research the scientists discovered that this plant also has medical value for humans. If the monkey’s habitat had been destroyed to create more farmland,not only would we lose the monkeys,we would also lose life-saving medicines and the potential for medical research.

This shining water that moves in streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors(it's extraordinary to use an aphorism).The waters murmur is the voice of my father’s father.The balance of many natural habitats（单复数有点混乱？其实在在生态学中"equilibrium"更为专业；而且这句话什么意思？自然生境的平衡？） is still not well understood and humans interfere in it at their peril.We should all remember that the land is of the people,by the people and for the people.

小结：句式比较丰富；
        单词覆盖面较大（因此有很多单词我不知道你用的对不对）；
        文中列举的第一和第三个例子很形象、具体；
        如果这是真实考试的话，我或许会认为你的文章有点偏题

PS：学习，希望以后多交流

grace.TTUID: 2534695

谢谢ls给我的中肯的意见。不过，我没明白为什么您觉得偏题？而且，第二个例子怎么无语了。。。？呵呵

grace.TTUID: 2534695

是不是我的第二个例子举得太牵强，幼稚了。。。呵呵

capricon2006UID: 2278984

题目中“It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals”
貌似你一直在说保护濒危动物的作用！

呵呵，你第二个例子确实有点牵强，个人认为……