〖TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组rainbowstarwqc的第十三次作业

rainbowstarwqcUID: 2597917

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive on the city streets during the time when there is the greatest amount of traffic. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.(07.1.14)




Since the first Ford vehicle was manufactured in America, the significance of autos has been increasingly accentuated in the modern world, and is becoming more and more manifested. Accompanying the prevalence of cars, the shortage of them emerged, such as pollution, noise, traffic jam, and so on. We all have similar experience: being caught in a traffic jam during rush hour, which is so crowded and messy. In this circumstance, some of us suggest that in order to solve this problem, we can charge additional fee on drivers in rush hour . From my point of view, I totally approve of this idea, because in that respect we can not only reduce the number of autos present on road, but also enhance our transportation system as well.



In the first place, by charging fees on drivers, we can effectively down-regulate the torrent of autos, which is the main contributor of the traffic jams. As we all know, people nowadays are fond of driving their own cars to work, for it is very convenient and economic. Thus the traffic jams occur, especially in metropolitans. However, on condition that they have to pay additional fee on their driving in specific period of time, they would have less inclination to drive stem from their instincts, which are mostly economic and abstentious. Consequently, the core of the problem will be largely solved, which means there will be less cars present in rush hour.



The second reason lies in the reinforcement on our transportation system. With this additional amount of income, our administrators can construct more facilities on the road, like crossroad, highway, service center, just to name a few, which will facilitate drivers in return. In this situation, we drivers may pay more to the bureaucracies, however, we will be benefitted in form of a large quantities of new constructions, which are intended to provide us convenience, especially in rush hours. As a result, we may never suffer from the traffic jams any longer in the future.



Overall, considerable more money though we pay, it is still beneficial to us as drivers when the advantages of this action is taken into account: they are, not only will traffic jams be diminished, but also our transportation system will be elevated with these fees.

angelmuziflyerUID: 2548676

占个座先~

angelmuziflyerUID: 2548676

[]Since the first Ford vehicle was manufactured in America, the significance of autos has been increasingly accentuated in the modern world, and is becoming more and more manifested. Accompanying the prevalence of cars, the shortage of them emerged, such as pollution, noise, traffic jam, and so on. We all have similar experience: being caught in a traffic jam during rush hour, which is so crowded and messy. In (under)this circumstance, some of us suggest that in order to solve this problem, we can charge additional fee on drivers (charge drivers additional fee)in rush hour . From my point of view, I totally approve of this idea, because in that respect we can not only reduce the number of autos present on road, but also enhance our transportation system as well.(开头很漂亮~语言和事例无懈可击)
in the first place, by charging fees on drivers, we can effectively down-regulate the torrent of autos, which is the main contributor of the traffic jams. As we all know, people nowadays are fond of driving their own cars to work, for it is very convenient and economic. Thus the traffic jams occur, especially in metropolitans. However, on condition that they have to pay additional fee on their driving in specific period of time, they would have less inclination to drive stem from their instincts, which are mostly economic and abstentious. Consequently, the core of the problem will be largely solved, which means there will be less cars present in rush hour.（阐述为什么收费可以减少车辆，进而改善交通拥堵）
The second reason lies in the reinforcement on our transportation system. With this additional amount of income, our administrators can construct more facilities on the road, like crossroad, highway（？？construct highway on the road?）, service center, just to name a few, which will facilitate drivers in return. In this situation, we drivers may pay more to the bureaucracies, however, we will be benefitted in form of a large quantities of new constructions, which are intended to provide us (add"with")convenience, especially in rush hours. As a result, we may never suffer from the traffic jams any longer in the future(这句貌似有点夸张哈~)
/`
Overall, considerable more money though we pay, it is still beneficial to us as drivers when the advantages of this action is taken into account: they are, not only will traffic jams be diminished, but also our transportation system will be elevated with these fees（这种写法我没见过，不晓得老美看得懂不）
总评：看到了很大的进步哈，篇幅明显变长。逻辑比较清晰，论证合理。向你学你！

capricon2006UID: 2278984

Since the first Ford vehicle was manufactured in America, the significance of autos has been increasingly accentuated in the modern world, and is becoming more and more manifested. Accompanying the prevalence of cars, the shortage of them emerged, such as pollution, noise, traffic jam, and so on. We all have similar experience: being caught in a traffic jam during rush hour, which is so crowded and messy. In this circumstance, some of us suggest that in order to solve this problem, we can charge additional fee on drivers in rush hour. From my point of view, I totally approve of this idea, because in that respect we can not only reduce the number of autos present on road, but also enhance our transportation system as well.

In the first place, by charging fees on drivers, we can effectively down-regulate the torrent of autos, which is the main contributor of the traffic jams. As we all know, people nowadays are fond of driving their own cars to work, for it is very convenient (and economic 这也经济，岂不和下面相矛盾？). Thus the traffic jams occur, especially in metropolitans. However, on condition that they have to pay additional fee on their driving in specific period of time, they would have less inclination to drive stem from their instincts, (which are mostly economic and abstentious “which”指代什么？). Consequently, the core of the problem will be largely solved, which means there will be less cars present in rush hour.

The second reason lies in the reinforcement on our transportation system. With this additional amount of income, our administrators can construct more facilities on the road, like crossroad, highway, service center, just to name a few, which will facilitate drivers in return. In this situation, we drivers may pay more to the bureaucracies, however, we will be benefited in form of a large quantities of new constructions, which are intended to provide us convenience, especially in rush hours. As a result, we may never suffer from the traffic jams any longer in the future.

Overall, considerable more money though we pay, it is still beneficial to us as drivers when the advantages of this action is (are) taken into account: they are, not only will traffic jams be diminished, but also our transportation system will be elevated with these fees.

水平有限，句式上我觉得我给不出什么修改意见……学习！
在结构上，起段很不错。后面的论证也较为合理。

rainbowstarwqcUID: 2597917

4# capricon2006
明天考试，作文明天考完再帮你改哈