TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 bb980 第22次作业

bb980UID: 2527518

People are always told not to be of two minds while focusing on something undertaking. As for individuals, much more efficiency can be given to those who attention to single project. Handing two more things often get half the results with double the effect. So, in my point, it is wiser to accomplish a project before the coming one of the others.

    Starting another thing when people are tackling the first one  is not the method to concentrate on cases which they have been doing from begining on. Therefore, if a person who wants to undertake two projects at the same time, he/she would finish one of both first then accomplish another. That is able to save much time for people. Take myself for example, I used to send messages to my friends while watching movies on computer. Since then, I have found that sometime I was always misunderstanding the information of the messages or just unknow what the movie was talking about as I had to watch it again. That is a waste of time as I could untilize it to do more meaningfuln things. As a result, people should not deal with the different projects at one time.

    In addition, it is also unconbenient and difficult to finish the simultaneity, happening in contemporary as well as varied conditions. For instance, individuals are not allowed to scribe a circle by one hand when the other one to paint a square or rectangle. That is unlikely to take place. So, people cannot recieve the content outcome in such a impossible task. On the contrary, a person who focus on a single case may get close to the ultimate success.

    Consequently, to sum up, as for individuals, it seems like that doing two projects at a time may save much time. On the other hand, judging from all the evidence offered above, we can arrive at this conclusion that it is better to finish the project on by one than to finish two projects at the same time.

gaofei323UID: 2588256

People are always told not to be of two minds while focusing on something undertaking. As for individuals, much more efficiency can be given to those who pay attention to single project. Handing two more things often gets half the results with double the effect. So, in my point, it is wiser to accomplish a project before the coming one of the others(看不太懂).
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    Starting another thing when people are tackling the first one is not the method to concentrate on cases which they have been doing from beginning on. Therefore, if a person who wants to undertake two projects at the same time（这个句子没有谓语。）, he/she would（should） finish one of both first then accomplish another. That（which） is able to save much time for people（them）. Take myself for example, I used to send messages to my friends while watching movies on computer. Since then, I have found that sometime I was always misunderstanding the information of the messages or just unknow what the movie was talking about as（so that） I had to watch it again. That is a waste of time as I could utilize it to do more meaningful things. As a result, people should not deal with the different projects at one time.(这段例子不错，有论证有举例，以后应该按这样来写比较好~)
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    In addition, it is also（和in addition重复） unconbenient(??) and difficult to finish the simultaneity(不懂。。), happening in contemporary as well as varied conditions（也看不懂。。是说可能在当代也可能在其他时期发生么？那应该用other periods）. For instance, individuals are not allowed to scribe a circle by one hand when the other one to paint a square or rectangle. That is unlikely to take place. So, people cannot receive the content outcome in such an impossible task. On the contrary, a person who focus on a single case may get close to the ultimate success.(中心句不是很明白，感觉例子和主题也不搭~略显单薄，像第一段写会比较好) * p  U  C! H

" v% `% Q) D. d2 t% |3 Q    Consequently, to sum up,（这两个有重复，留一个就好）as for individuals（这句就不需要了 没什么意思）, it seems like that doing two projects at a time may save much time. On the other hand（however actually 这样转折比较符合逻辑，on the other hand是并列，但你全文并没有同意这个观点）, judging from all the evidence offered above, we can arrive at this conclusion that it is better to finish the project on by one than to finish two projects at the same time

文章还是略显单薄，传统的3段论可能会更好
主题句很重要的，一定要清楚表达观点，配合的例子也要合适，
个别表达还不是很清楚~需要在想想看
逻辑很重要，上下文的关系要理清~
继续加油！考试顺利！