Issue50【Triple Week】第4次练习by david36355

david36355UID: 2603992

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

Based on the assumption to advance in instruction level, the author casted a view that recommends all faculty to gain empirical work experience according to their professions. The somewhat extreme idea, is actually violating my intuition to certain extent, for the recommendation itself is an obligation, and it takes risks in many aspects.
Basically, outside work experience in the according subject is helpful for the teaching. However, the experience gained must be worth of the time consumed. The obligatory profession is due to the teaching effect according to the issue. If the experience is barely nothing to be utilized for the students, then we have to bust the bubbles.
On the other hand, it is not objected that the campus encourage the faculty to search for an outside vocation. But simply urging the whole staff to be second-job-takers is to be questioned, for it overlooks several cases. First, it is expected that whether to apply such policy be relied on the personality of the teacher. Had a research-oriented man who`s not good at communicating, an obliged interaction would cause a failure in the job and frustration in the experience gaining. Second, the faculty varies from the green hand to the experienced, the latter, however, are usually burdened with the heavy work aside of research in the academy. It would definitely an unwise choice to glue another heavy burden on their shoulders. Third, the main problem of the issue, is to bind the working experience together with the teaching succeed, which deserves doubt. There is no promise on the condition that at one hand, not everybody were able to get the outside experience, take a grand illusion for Hawkin would clearly solve the problem. Being a genius in modern physics, being a mishap cursed guy with only three fingers and a mind in control, the conflict did not stop a perfect scientist but would block the way to profession in the world outside the campus. On the other hand, still, there is no guarantee for the empirical practice of the profession serves teaching ability. Examples lies in the art professors in certain areas, the researchers were exposed to the society, and gained a lot of job experience along with stacks of cash. More cash in the pocket, more distance to the research, let alone the teaching advance.

ahngUID: 2605383

怎么感觉……好短哪～～明天来改:L

ahngUID: 2605383

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at thecollege and university level, all faculty should be required to spendtime working outside the academic world in professions relevant to thecourses they teach."

Based on the assumption to advance in instruction level (不是assumption，是purpose) , the authorcasted a view that recommends all faculty to gain empirical workexperience (spend time working不仅仅是gain empirical experience) according to their professions(the professions relevant to the courses they teach很可能不是their professions). The somewhat extreme idea,is actually violating my intuition to certain extent, for therecommendation itself is an obligation, and it takes risks in manyaspects. (开头如果要复述，我觉得最好是按照原文来，因为题目就一句话，某些词改动了，意思可能会有很大的改变)

Basically, outside work experience in the according subject is helpfulfor the teaching. However, the experience gained must be worth of thetime consumed. The obligatory profession is due to the teaching effectaccording to the issue. If the experience is barely nothing to beutilized for the students, then we have to bust the bubbles. (这段写的不错)

On the other hand, it is not objected that the campus encourage thefaculty to search for an outside vocation(找工作？？！！我觉得是花费时间从事教学，难道我理解错了？). But simply urging the wholestaff to be second-job-takers is to be questioned, for it overlooksseveral cases. First, it is expected that whether to apply such policybe relied on the personality of the teacher. Had a research-orientedman who`s not good at communicating, an obliged interaction would causea failure in the job and frustration in the experience gaining. Second,the faculty varies from the green hand to the experienced, the latter,however, are usually burdened with the heavy work aside of research inthe academy. It would definitely an unwise choice to glue another heavyburden on their shoulders. Third, the main problem of the issue, is tobind the working experience together with the teaching succeed, whichdeserves doubt. There is no promise on the condition that at one hand,not everybody were able to get the outside experience, take a grandillusion for Hawkin would clearly solve the problem. Being a genius inmodern physics, being a mishap cursed guy with only three fingers and amind in control, the conflict did not stop a perfect scientist butwould block the way to profession in the world outside the campus.(这个例子!，举Hawking不是很好，在这里，（1）Hawking这种人实际上是极少数（2）Hawking对于这个问题太极端了，因为他根本就没有能力说话。实际上他也是可以交流的，只是比较麻烦。这个例子仿附就是说：有些老师是哑巴，他们怎么教书呢？) Onthe other hand, still, there is no guarantee for the empirical practiceof the profession serves teaching ability. Examples lies in the artprofessors in certain areas, the researchers were exposed to thesociety, and gained a lot of job experience along with stacks of cash.More cash in the pocket, more distance to the research, let alone theteaching advance.

首先，
我觉得题目的意思是：为了提高教学质量，大学教职员应该花时间到学术世界以外进行教学相关的工作。
而我觉得你的意思是：从事本专业的相关工作，提高工作经验，从而＠＃￥＠＃。
显然，我们两之间肯定有一个人理解错误。

其次，
论证层次不够清晰，而且没有结尾。

最后，
您的句子对于我总是有些难以理解，有些词语用的很好，但有些句子构成和语言搭配总感觉有些问题。
就比如最后一句，More cash in the pocket, more distance to the research, let alone theteaching advance.
我看了很多遍不知是不是这个意思：
More cash in the pocket, more distance away from research, let alone the improvement of teaching career.

david36355UID: 2603992

3# ahng

多谢修改！
呃……翻了一些别人写的文章，这个题目的意思确实是从事本专业的相关工作，提高工作经验，从而＠＃￥＠＃。

恩……语言还是不够顺当……看来得继续努力了。谢谢！