28号的作文作业（进军美利坚）

daisy840228UID: 2684617

写很久，而且很幼稚，不知道改怎么办
同意不同意：一个聪明的朋友比一个幽默的朋友重要)
people loves making friends, it's the nature for people to keep company to relieve loneliness.No doubt, friends plays an essential role in nearly everypeople's material life and mental life. Now there appears a hot question, is a smart friends or a funny friend more important. people who hold the opinion that life should be full of laugh may insist that a funny friend is more important. However, I view a smart friend is more important given that he or she might assist other person fulfill  achivement either in career life or daily life.
No issue is more important than this one that a smart friend can assist you in making decision and do your best in career life. It is never extragent to say how much a smart friend can help you. When you are in a dillema, a smart friend may theoretically and logically analyze the situation in front of you, help you make decisions, especially in some very hurried and important moment. For example, when I was a senior, I had few choices for future, one was to take a wonderful job as a respect teacher in a well-known high middle school, the other one was to continue my study in graduate school where had a great educational system for the postgraduate students.I didn't know what to do with it. Then my smart friend analyzed to me, she even did some research on the internet, inquiring some person from the relevant area, after combining with my preference and quality, she thought I should go on studying in the graduate school.I truly thank her and thank god for giving me such a intelligent friend after several years studying, I found my interest and enjoy my real and full academic life in the graduate school.
On the other hand,smart friends would help through many difficult time in daily life. While humorous friend might make jokes to make you laugh and forget about the problem you are dealing with, the happy is instanteneous, for the problem hasn't been resolved. For instance, in the tv prison break, many people has funny friend beside, but they are all eager to make friends with Michael Scoefield. Why? because only as smart as he and no one but he could solve the problem of those persons.In addition, being a smart friend, when you are upset, he or she know exactly how to make you happy. When you are in need, he or she would get the effective way to prevent you from the situation.Don't you think you need this kind of friend more urgently.

To sum up,it is no better illustration prove the view, namely a friend in need is a friend indeed. The friend might not make you laugh everyday, but he or she may help you through many hard time in the career and daily life. Based on these, I strongly believe that a smart friend is more important.

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

单数、复数、时态、语法、惯用法都



很糟糕~~~

larcwingUID: 2528204

people loves making friends, it's the nature for people to keep company to relieve loneliness.（前面是两个句子，注意大小写，主题和我表达的意思差不多，可以互相学习^_^）No doubt, friends plays an essential role in nearly everypeople's(everyone’s) material life（多余） and mental life. Now there appears(comes似乎更符合习惯) a hot question,(:) is a smart friends or a funny friend more important.(?) people who hold the opinion that life should be full of laugh may insist that a funny friend is more important. However, I view a smart friend is more important given that he or she might assist other person fulfill  achivement either in career life（又一次多余了） or daily life.


No issue is more important than this one that a smart friend can assist you in making decision and do your best in career life. It is never extragent（这词啥意思?） to say how much a smart friend can help you. When you are in a dillema, a smart friend may theoretically and logically analyze the situation in front of(for) you, help you make decisions, especially in some very hurried(urgent) and important moment. For example, when I was a senior, I had a few choices for future, one was to take a wonderful job as a respect teacher in a well-known high middle school, the other one was to continue my study in graduate school where had(there’s) a great educational system for the postgraduate students.I didn't know what to do with it(how to make the decision). Then my smart friend analyzed to(the situation for) me, she even did some research on the internet, inquiring(consulting) some persons from the relevant area, after combining with my preference and quality, she thought I should go on studying in the graduate school.（这其实是几句话，应该分句的，另外表达也不地道，要加强语言表达的基础训练） I truly thank her and thank god（why? Right here, thank her is enough. You can save it for another sentence. 又是几句话纠结在一起，你没有把逻辑层次分清，先谢谢她让你找到所爱的专业，然后才是谢谢God让你有这样的朋友才对，这是两个层次） for giving me such an intelligent friend after several years studying, I found my interest and enjoy my real and full academic life in the graduate school.
On the other hand,smart friends would help you through many difficult time in daily life. While humorous friend might make(tell) jokes to make you laugh and forget about the problem you are dealing with, the happy(happiness) is instanteneous, for the problem hasn't been resolved. For instance, in the tv(TV drama) prison break（大写！）, many people has funny friend beside(around), but they are all eager to make friends with Michael Scoefield. Why? because only as smart as he and no one but he could solve the problem of those persons.In addition, being a smart friend, when you are upset, he or she know exactly how to make you happy. When you are in need, he or she would get the effective way to prevent you from the situation.Don't you think you need this kind of friend more urgently.
（你的观点是好的，也会举适当的例子，但是由于表达不清楚，用法又很不符合习惯，而且拼写、单复数等等语言问题太多，必然极大影响评卷人阅读和给分，一点要加强！！每次作文以后自己先检查下语言错误和不符合习惯的表达吧）

To sum up,it is no better illustration prove the view（这句啥意思我不太明白）, namely a friend in need is a friend indeed. The friend might not make you laugh everyday, but he or she may help you through many hard time in the career and daily life. Based on these, I strongly believe that a smart friend is more important.

语言上的错误我只大概改了些（就已经很花时间了。。。），更多的需要你自己努力，多读读英文原文的句子，注意习惯性的表达。不管思想内容有多好，表达不出来都是没用的。

sharamandeUID: 2597186

people loves making friends, it's the nature for(of) people to keep company to relieve loneliness(这一句的意思，真是，奇怪啊).No doubt, friends plays an essential role in nearly everypeople's material life(这是什么意思？) and mental life. Now there appears a hot question, is a smart friends or a funny friend more important(这一句完全没有语法可言，question后面应该是一个从句来说明question的内容。). people who hold the opinion that life should be full of laugh may insist that a funny friend is more important. However, I view a smart friend is more important given that he or she might assist other person fulfill  achivement either in career life(不用加life) or daily life.(注意每一句话的首字母要大写哦~)

No issue is more important than this one that a smart friend can assist you in making decision and do your best(用的不当) in career life. It is never extragent(拼写错误？) to say how much a smart friend can help you. When you are in a dillema, a smart friend may theoretically and logically analyze the situation in front of you(不用写这个吧？), help you make decisions, especially in some very hurried(不妨用urgent) and important moment. For example, when I was a senior, I had few(few是强调几乎没有) choices for future, one was to take a wonderful job as a respect(able) teacher in a well-known high middle(有high school也有Middle school，不知道high Middle school是什么) school, the other one was to continue my study in graduate school where had a great educational system for the postgraduate students(这个从句没意义，还不如说“在那儿可以接受更好的教育).I didn't know what to do with it(it指代不明). Then my smart friend analyzed to(for) me, she even did some research on the internet, inquiring some person(s) from(in) the relevant area,(句号) after combining with my preference and quality(这句after太Chinglish了), she thought I should go on studying in the graduate school.I truly thank her and thank god for giving me such a intelligent friend after several years studying, I found my interest and enjoy my real and full(不明白real and full) academic life in the graduate school.

On the other hand,smart friends would help through many difficult time in daily life. While humorous friend might make jokes to make you laugh and forget about(forget是vt.) the problem you are dealing with, the happy is instanteneous, for the problem hasn't been resolved. For instance, in the tv (serials) prison break, many people has(have) funny friend(s) beside, but they are all eager to make friends with Michael Scoefield. Why? because only as smart as he and no one but he could solve the problem of those persons(这个例子。。。建议你考试时候可不要用。那个可不能算是friend，带有赤果果的目的性的).In addition, being a smart friend(这一句跟后面的不搭), when you are upset, he or she know exactly how to make you happy(不一定，聪明的人大多数不谙世事不爱说话吧). When you are in need, he or she would get the effective way to prevent you from the situation.Don't you think you need this kind of friend more urgently.

To sum up,it is no better illustration prove the view(这一句读不懂), namely a friend in need is a friend indeed. The friend might not make you laugh everyday, but he or she may help you through many hard time in the career and daily life. Based on these, I strongly believe that a smart friend is more important.
建议写完之后再自己检查检查。

半夏之北UID: 2517498

people loves（love） making friends, it's the nature for(of) people to keep company to relieve loneliness.No doubt, friends plays(play) an essential role in nearly everypeople's material life(real life?是不是这个意思) and mental life. Now there appears a hot question, is a smart friends or a funny friend more important(语法错误). people who hold the opinion that life should be full of laugh may insist that a funny friend is more important. However, I view a smart friend is more important given that he or she might assist other person fulfill  achivement（感觉应该换成 their dream) either in career life(不用加life) or daily life.% @9 F3 Z# j' m6 }+ `) W
No issue is more important than this one that a smart friend can assist you in making(to make) decision and do your best in career life. It is never extragent(没看懂是什么意思) to say how much a smart friend can help you. When you are in a dillema, a smart friend may theoretically and logically analyze the situation in front of you, help you make decisions, especially in some very hurried and important moment. For example, when I was a senior, I had （a)few choices for future, one was to take a wonderful job as a respect(able) teacher in a well-known high middle(去掉） school, the other one was to continue my study in graduate school where had a great educational system for the postgraduate students.I didn't know what to do with it. Then my smart friend analyzed（it) to(for) me, she even did some research on the internet, inquiring(inquired) some person(people) from(in) the relevant area. after(when) combining with my preference and quality, she thought I should go on studying in the graduate school.I truly thank her and thank god for giving me such a(an) intelligent friend after several years studying, I found my interest and enjoy(enjoyed) my real and full academic life in the graduate school.4 X& ]$ x- Y0 ~$ b( \
  Z- H6 G- H/ A# U' @6 Q( e, Q
On the other hand,smart friends would help through many difficult time in daily life. While humorous friend might make jokes to make you laugh and forget about（去掉about)the problem you are dealing with, the happy is instanteneous, for the problem hasn't been resolved. For instance, in the tv prison break, many people has(have) funny friend(s) beside, but they are all eager to make friends with Michael Scoefield. Why? because only as smart as he and no one but he could solve the problem of those persons.In addition, being  (with) a smart friend, when you are upset, he or she know exactly how to make you happy. When you are in need, he or she would get the effective way to prevent you from the situation.Don't you think you need this kind of friend more urgently.3 B2 b5 ]* p" w6 ]: S# c! y

To sum up,it is no better illustration prove(proving) the view, namely a friend in need is a friend indeed. The friend might not make you laugh everyday, but he or she may help you through many hard time in the(去掉） career and daily life. Based on these, I strongly believe that a smart friend is more important.


不好意思修改的晚了~~
写完之后可以先用word改一遍，多使用同义词的替换。