进军美利坚 作文

zhangyzzzUID: 2615373

10.6 Government should pay more attention on health care issues than on environmental issues

An expending number of people begin to concern the issue that which one government should pay more attention on health care or environment control. Some hold the position that the fitness of people outweighs the brighter sky or clearer water. Contrary to the point hold by these people is my heartfelt agreement with the view that authority should spend more money and energy on the management of environment rather than public health in generally.

Admittedly, the good state of the physical of the public is, in some occasion, more significant than other issues. When some epidemic diseases threaten the public lives, there are few things more important than the health security. Take the H1N1 as an example. Governments all around the world have invested huge amount of economic and human or non-human resources to defend their citizen against this infection. If the tough measures didn't be executed, there would be a panic pervading all over the world and thus functional departments might deconstruction very soon. In this specific atmosphere, governments have no choice but pay more attention on health care.

Nevertheless, the fitness of individual is not always more important than the environment protection. In most cases, the former bordered on economic problem rather than fatal issue like environmental problem. Worried about government treating the environment as the prime goal are those who hold the opinion that money will be spent on improve our environment and not enough left to increase the investment of sanitation. But when it comes to environmental issues, the lost of the variety of species because of the environmental disaster caused by humans can not be evaluated by money. And moreover, if we pay little attention on the environmental problems and keep developing in the unsustainable ways, it will eventually threaten the existence of ourselves, human beings. Considering the extending desert all over the world and the effects of the global warming, it is the very time to pay more attention on environment protection and sustainable development not only for our generation but also for our offspring.

Furthermore, environment protection is invariably beneficial for health care issues. Why did so many new diseases come out in this century? The deteriorated environment condition bears compelling obligation. As a recently survey, forty percent of children suffer respiratory diseases owing to the bad atmosphere circumstance. Obviously, the radical solution for those situations is to improve our air condition. In other words, the human and material resource devoted to protect environment also deal with some problems of public health.

Although sometimes sanitation enjoys a higher priority for government to handle, environment protection is more lethal issues for all human beings.

zhengping001UID: 2689322

An expending(expanding,我查了expend只有“花费, 消耗, 支出”含义) number of people begin to concern the issue that which one government should pay more attention on health care or environment control. Some hold the position that the fitness of people outweighs the brighter sky or clearer water. Contrary to the point hold by these people(去掉hold by these people，或改成hold by those people,此处是否想表达与此相反的一个观点), is my heartfelt agreement with(i heartfelt agree with) the view that authority(officials, 与government相对应的应是政府官员，用officials可能更恰当) should spend more money and energy on the management of environment rather than public health in generally.
& J+ z2 R7 N  c4 Z8 x* e  Z
Admittedly, the good state of the physical of the public is, in some occasion(occasions), more significant than other issues. When some epidemic diseases threaten the public lives, there are few things more important than the health security. Take the H1N1 as an example. Governments all around the world have invested huge amount of economic and human or non-human resources to defend their citizen against this infection. If the tough measures didn't be executed, there would be a panic pervading all over the world and thus functional departments(有些不理解，是“生产科”的意思吗？) might deconstruction(burst up,此处缺少一个不及物动词) very soon. In this specific atmosphere, governments have no choice but pay more attention on health care.( V7 {+ M+ L9 G( Q+ d4 P

Nevertheless, the fitness of individual is not always more important than the environment protection. In most cases, the former(指什么？) bordered(considered,是形容词还是动词，感觉缺比较) on economic problem rather than fatal issue like environmental problem. Worried about government treating the environment(economy development根据此句子意思，) as the prime goal are those who hold the opinion that money will be spent on improve(improving) our environment and not enough left to increase the investment of sanitation. But when it comes to environmental issues, the lost of the variety of species because of (去掉，后面接的是句子)the environmental disaster caused by humans (and,一个单句中不能出现两个谓语) (the loss) can not be evaluated by money. And moreover, if we pay little attention on the(不是特指的一般不用the,文中有很多处都不需用) environmental problems and keep (the,此处为特指经济发展) developing (economy) in the unsustainable(unsustained,未持续性的) ways, it will eventually threaten the existence of ourselves, human beings. Considering the extending desert all over the world and the effects of the global warming, it is the(去掉) very time to pay more attention on environment protection and sustainable development not only for our generation but also for our offspring.

Furthermore, environment protection is invariably beneficial for health care issues. Why did so many new diseases come out in this century? The deteriorated environment condition bears compelling obligation. As a recently(recent,此处应用形容词，修饰后面的名词) survey, forty percent of children suffer respiratory diseases owing to the bad atmosphere (of) circumstance. Obviously, the radical solution for those situations is to improve our air condition. In other words, the human and material resource (are,应是被动语态)devoted to protect environment also deal with some problems of public health. 7 \4 d! m( o/ f0 k7 Z3 ^9 o

Although sometimes sanitation enjoys a higher priority for government to handle, environment protection is more lethal issues for all human beings.
1.结构很有层次感，在每个段落里都对于environment issues and health care 进行了分析比较。
2.第二段举了一个很好的例子H1V1，但最好说明它的来源是与环境问题有很大关系，因为你后面又说到很多新的流行病都涉及环境污染问题。
3.语法使用的很好，逻辑性也很强
4.结尾段落很出色，是文章的一个亮点，呵呵，我的能力有限，只能看到这么多问题，而且不一定是对的。

zhangyzzzUID: 2615373

10.7 Technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.

An expanding number of people begin to concern the influence of technology on children. Some hold the position that contemporary technologies such as computer and television make children less creative. Contrary to the opinion of many people is my heartfelt agreement with the point that technology, in generally, provides more opportunity for children to do things in their own ways.

Admittedly, living in modern society technology has so considerable influence on people that there are few situations for us to use our intelligence. On the one hand, people have many accesses to vast group of information nowadays. With the click on the mouse, thousands of pages of information about certain thesis are provided by search engine like google. Consequently, the one who is going to finish an essay will be likely to combine all the resources from the Internet rather than write the article word by word. If he keeps doing his homework in this way, it will be a mystery for him to talk about creation. On the other hand, children spend plenty of time on watching TV or playing PC games instead of thinking about events happened around them. As a recent research, children will become stupid if they watch TV too much. It seems that technology is virtually harmful for children in some occasions.


Nevertheless, technique invariably does people a favor to do some creative work. Such Modern tools as computer is the indispensable equipment in many laboratories especially relating with data analysis. And for children, computer is a good tool to educate including inspiring them to thought, imagine and so on. It provide a platform for child to realize his of her imagination. For example, they can use the advanced digital software to construct a fancy world or create some animals which can not exist in the real world.

Furthermore, it is the innovation of people that introduce the world all kinds of technology. If the technology will diminish the creative competence, why did more and more inventions appear in this century? The only way to interpret this phenomenon is that the ability of innovation is evoked by advancement of technology. Without the development of microscope, there would not have all genetic biology. Without the development of computer, there would not have exact meteorology broadcast.

Although technology seems to compromise the ability of innovation of children sometimes, as the stimulus of technology improvement innovation will be more common with the development of technology.

LRXSSUID: 2695903

An expending expending 把 number of people begin to concern the issue that which one 感觉可去掉了 government should pay more attention on health care or environment control. Some hold the position that the fitness of people outweighs 用得好 the brighter sky or clearer water. Contrary to the point hold by these people is my heartfelt我在词典里查了  好像没有这个词 :funk: 表达的意思大概是发自肺腑的意见把agreement with the view that authority感觉用复数会更好  should spend more money and energy on the management of environment rather than public health in generally.
Admittedly, the good state of the physical health of the public is, in some occasion, more significant than other issues. When some epidemic diseases threaten the public lives, there are is few things thing more important than the health security. Take the H1N1 as an example. Governments all around the world have invested huge amount of economic financial 要好些 and human or non-human resources to defend their citizen against this infection. If the tough measures didn't be executed, there would be a panic pervading all over the world and thus functional departments might deconstruction be destructed very soon. In under好些 this specific atmosphere, governments have no choice but pay more attention on health care.  

这段大量陈述健康保健的重要性   和你的主题不符  感觉有点过了  考试中应该可以省    正好节省时间
一两句陈述下他的重要性即可  
Nevertheless, the fitness of individual is not always more important than the environment protection. In most cases, the former bordered on表示 某个地区的接近  用在这里MS不恰当 economic problem rather than fatal issue like environmental problem. Worried about government treating the environment as the prime goal are those who hold the opinion that money will be spent on improving our environment and not enough left to increase the investment of sanitation. 这句话太长了 个人感觉还是稍短句好些 易理解But when it comes to environmental issues, the lost of the variety of species because of the environmental disaster caused by humans can not be evaluated by money. And moreover, if we pay little attention on the environmental problems and keep developing in the unsustainable ways, it will eventually threaten the existence of ourselves, human beings. Considering the extending desert all over the world and the effects of the global warming, it is the very time to pay more attention on environment protection and sustainable development not only for our generation but also for our offspring.
Furthermore, environmenl protection is invariably beneficial for health care issues. Why did so many new diseases come out in this century? The deteriorated environment condition bears compelling obligation. As a recently survey describes, forty percent of children suffer respiratory diseases owing to the bad atmosphere circumstance. Obviously, the radical solution for those situations is to improve our air condition. In other words, the human and material resources devoted to protect environment also deal with some problems of public health.
Although sometimes sanitation enjoys a higher priority for government to handle,environment protection is more lethal issues for all human beings.

1.高级词汇  enormous   额  太强了  
2.句子结构复杂  看得出楼主驾驭语言的能力强
3. 注意不要犯“漂移” 的毛病  
4.结尾很干净  简练  

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

[fly][/fly]
An expanding number of people begin to concern the influence of technology on children. Some hold the position that contemporary technologies such as computer and television make children less creative. Contrary to the opinion of many people is my heartfelt agreement with the point that technology, in generally, provides more opportunity--opportunities for children to do things in their own ways 开头很干练的

ittedly, living in modern society technology has so considerable influence on people that there are few situations for us to use our intelligence多少有点牵强吧. On the one hand, people have many accesses to vast group of information nowadays. With the click on the mouse, thousands of pages of information about certain thesis are provided by search engine like google. Consequently, the one who is going to finish an essay will be likely to combine all the resources from the Internet rather than write the article word by word. If he keeps doing his homework in this way, it will be a mystery for him to talk about creation.因为主要说孩子前面的描述稍微多了 On the other hand, children spend plenty of time on watching TV or playing PC games instead of thinking about events happened around them. As a recent research, children will become stupid :L 没...这严重吧if they watch TV too much. It seems that technology is virtually harmful for children in some occasions.

Nevertheless, technique invariably does people a favor to do some creative work. Such Modern tools as computer is the indispensable equipment in many laboratories especially relating with data analysis. And for children, computer is a good tool to educate including inspiring them to thought--think, imagine and so on. It provide a platform for child to realize his of her imagination. For example, they can use the advanced digital software to construct a fancy world or create some animals which can not exist in the real world 这段挺好

Furthermore, it is the innovation of people that introduce the world all kinds of technology. If the technology will diminish the creative competence, why did more and more inventions appear in this century?这个漂亮 The only way to interpret this phenomenon is that the ability of innovation is evoked by advancement of technology. Without the development of microscope, there would not have all genetic biology. Without the development of computer, there would not have exact meteorology broadcast.这里说很多技术的重要性, 有点不扣题

Although technology seems to compromise the ability of innovation of children sometimes, as the stimulus of technology improvement innovation will be more common with the development of technology.该用逗号的地方要用的说,反正也是不花钱不是...句子很干练的很简洁, 思想也干脆. 中间某些地方走点题

zhangyzzzUID: 2615373

10.8 是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effects?

An expanding number of people begin to concern the influence of telephone and television on our daily lives. Some contend the point that talking with the one who is in a long distance has evidently changed contemporary life rather than the television did. Contrary to the opinion of many people is my heartfelt agreement with the view that television has more effects on modern society than does telephone.

Admittedly, certain aspects of modern life does have been changed be telephone. It provides the convenience for people who can not talk with each other face to face to communicate freely. Considering the letter or other communication methods before the advent of telephone, those will take one day at least on delivering. By using telephone especially mobile phone, however, people can receive response immediately no matter when and on matter where. So no one will deny the fact that telephone has one or two effects on communication aspect.

Nevertheless, television is more efficiency to transmit information than telephone because of the picture. TV as a media provides us an easy access to huge amount of information. For me, I invariably watch some news on television. And thus I can know who win the presidential campaign at the same time when the result is out in United States and what he looks like. It is impossible for telephone to inform so many people in world wide. And more over, as the old sayings, even the best description can not match the simplest picture. There are more details that can be derived from the locale where the event happened.

Furthermore, television not only influences the way people attain the information but also changes almost every aspect of people's life. For instance, it is not amazing to see a slender lady doing some yoga in front of screen, or a family getting together to watch some special shows like the spring festival eve celebration party in China. On the other hand, the increasing public attention on the influence of watching TV on the sound development of children indicates the power of television in another way.

Although telephone is a revolutionary invention in the communication realm, television makes our daily lives a bigger difference in various areas.

zhangyzzzUID: 2615373

10.9 你同不同意现在的人们没有以前friendly了
An expanding number of people begin to concern the relationship among individuals in modern society. Some hold the position that people are less friendly than were they decades ago. Contrary to the opinion of those people is my heartfelt agreement with the view that the contemporary community is more friendly in large scale, even though it seems that the interpersonal kindness is eroded.

Admittedly, individuals may be less friendly in their daily lives. On the one hand, the progresses of technology accelerate the pace of daily life and leave no enough time to regard others. For example, when citizens struggle to get up and catch up the bus worrying about being late to work, it is hard to imagine that they will help the old cross the road or lead the lost child to police office, which are considered as representative behavior of kindness. On the other hand, the high crime rate contributes to the apathy among people. Everyone grown up in the contemporary cities had been told that he or she should not talk with strangers when he or shi was still a child. And this is why people living in cities always keep the not familiar ones away and give others a friendless impression.

Nevertheless, in society level, it is more easer for public to express their concern about others nowadays. The developing technologies enhance the communication all over the world. And thus when some disaster happen no matter where, the information will spread quickly to the world. Consequently, there will be more people regard those unfortunate. For instance, when the serious earthquake attacked the Si Chuan province in china, not only the Chinese but also people around the world express fervor and enthusiasm to help suffers with the financial and human or non-human resources. The damages of the earthquake are unprecedented as well as the kindness of those donate. And what's more, Hope Chinese Schools which have been built all over the China is a sound example to illustrate that the contemporary society allows people to be more friendly.

Although people may be too busy or too caution to show kindness on others, in large scale, the society is more friendly.

joyceliuUID: 2477232

An expanding numberof people begin to concern the influence of telephone and television onour daily lives. Some contend the point that talking with the one whois in a long distance has evidently changed contemporary life ratherthan the television did. Contrary to the opinion of many people is myheartfelt agreement with the view that television has more effects onmodern society than does telephone.
, H1 v+ X% k5 V, B 2 r  [# k; `1 ~& Z2 A/ T4 D( \7 N# N
Admittedly, certainaspects of modern life does have been changed be(by) telephone. It providesthe convenience for people who can not talk with each other face toface to communicate freely. On the controry, Considering the letter or othercommunication methods before the advent of telephone, those will takeone day at least on delivering(they will cost us several days to deliver). By using telephone especially mobilephone, however, people can receive response immediately no matter whenand on matter where(they are). So no one will deny the fact that telephone hasone or two effects on communication aspect.& n- U: m1 `1 g
* `" h$ n* a* {5 l5 \
Nevertheless,television is more efficiency to transmit information than telephonebecause of the picture(image). TV as a media provides us an easy access tohuge amount of information. For me, I invariably watch some news ontelevision. And thus I can know who win the presidential campaign atthe same time when the result is out in United States and what he lookslike. It is impossible for telephone to inform so many people in worldwide. And more over, as the old sayings, even the best description cannot match the simplest picture. There are more details that can bederived from the locale where the event happened. (想想有没有其他例子）- l- i& X. q2 ]
2 `% `( o) J! u$ h/ D
Furthermore,television not only influences the way people attain the informationbut also changes almost every aspect of people's life. For instance, itis not amazing to see a slender lady doing some yoga in front ofscreen, or a family getting together to watch some special shows likethe spring festival eve celebration party in China. On the other hand,the increasing public attention on the influence of watching TV on thesound development of children indicates the power of television inanother way./ b. {8 r+ n' w6 l- a! e8 l
% Z' g+ Z) ]9 p0 v4 o
Although telephoneis a revolutionary invention in the communication realm, televisionmakes our daily lives a bigger difference in various areas.

zhangyzzzUID: 2615373

10.10 playing computer games is wasting time 。 Children should not allowed to play them

An expanding number of people begin to concern the issue that whether playing computer games is wasting time. Some hold the position that children should not be allowed to play them because they seem to be useless for children. Contrary to the opinion of those people is my heartfelt view that some computer games is beneficial to improve children's creative and to relax and relieve the pressure from study and children should be allowed to play them appropriately.

Admittedly, some children virtually waste a lot of time on playing some types of computer games. The online games on computers represent the trend of the development of computer games, which, I have to say, are considered as the symbol of boring and meaningless. If a child starts his or her online games life, he or she can not easily get rid of it. The online games to the child is what the drug to the addict. It is not amazing to find that children who stay up until later night not focus on their homework but on the virtual monster in the World of Warcraft. And on one can deny that playing online games actually spent a plenty of time which should be used on studying or sporting.

Nevertheless, under the supervise, some classical computer games can improve the innovation of children. Everything has two sides, including, of course, computer games. Some computer games are very interesting and force the players to think and to find out the way to make it work. For instance, tetris, which is regarded as almost the most famous PC games until now, can help children to enhance their response speed and to improve the ability of making decision quickly
with dropping blocks; or winmine, which is a additional game the Windows, can provide children more opportunities to use their reasoning. Individuals' intelligence plays a significant role in all of those games. So, it is wise to treat different games in different ways.

Furthermore, the prime goal of computer games is to entertain people and they actually attain the goal. With the name "game", computer games should be inspected as a way for relax rather than for education. For me, when I feel upset, I am willing to play some computer games to loose the pressure and enjoy myself. And moreover, if playing computer games as a break from the hard work is wasting time, then all the time spend on such entertainment as movie and music should be considered as waste of time.

Although, it is waste of time that children play some kinds of computer games too much, playing some mind inspiring computer games in spear time is a good way to relax and beneficial for the sound development of children.

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

An expanding number of people begin to concern the relationship among individuals in modern society. Some hold the position that people are less friendly than were they decades ago. Contrary to the opinion of those people is my heartfelt agreement 很生动啊，学习了！with the view that the contemporary community is more friendly in是on吧。我也记得不太清楚了。 large scale, even though it seems that the interpersonal kindness is eroded. 学习了。我是一个词汇，尤其是动词匮乏的人

Admittedly, individuals may be less friendly in their daily lives. On the one hand, the progresses这里做不可数好些。我之前也做可数写，别人这么告诉我的。最近几篇文章都在感慨科技，唉~ of technology accelerate the pace of daily life and leave no enough time to regard others这个可以这么说么？好怪regard？？. For example, when citizens我知道你这里想表达市民的意思，但是citizens貌似做公民比较多，法律用语之类的。建议你可以细节化，比如白领啊啥的。或者就强大普遍性吧。 struggle to get up and catch up the bus worrying about being late to work, it is hard to imagine that they will help the old cross the road or lead the lost child to police office, which are considered as representative behavior of kindness. 也很细节啊On the other hand, the high crime rate contributes to the apathy也很强大一词啊。以前米见过，查了一下，学习了！！ among people. Everyone grown up in the contemporary cities had been不能用had吧。have就可以了。过去完成时不能到处用咯 told that he or she should not talk with strangers when he or shi（she） was still a child. And this is why people living in cities always keep the not familiar（unfamiliar好点） ones away and give others a friendless impression.（这就是传说中的让步段吧。第一次见~~O(∩_∩)O~）

Nevertheless, in society level,可以这样表达吗？我不确定，建议你确认一下在用吧。 it is more easer（easier） for public to express their concern about others nowadays. The developing technologies enhance the communication all over the world. And thus when some disasters happen no matter where, the information will spread quickly to the world. Consequently, there will be more people regard第一，应该用ing，第二又是regard？不能这么用吧。还是regard真的很强大以前米发现？ those unfortunateunfortunate是形容词，不知道可不可以做名词，即使可以应该也要加s吧. For instance, when the serious earthquake attacked the Si Chuan连一起写。Sichuan province in china, not only the Chinese but also people around the world express fervor（favor） and enthusiasm？？激情？sympathy好点吧 to help suffers with the financial and human or non-human resources这个表达有点问题哦。financial aid and ....那个人力和非人力资源我也不确定咋说，再查查吧. The damages of the earthquake are unprecedented as well as the kindness of those donate.这句要强调的是those donates吧。建议分成两句写，单独强调donates，你这样完全把它弱化了。 And what's more, Hope Chinese Schools which have been built all over the China is a sound example 这个表达很好。学习了！to illustrate that the contemporary society allows people to be more friendly.其实你也很细节的~~呵呵~~觉得地震的那个描述可以再雕琢下

Although people may be too busy or too caution to show kindness on others, in large scale, the society is more friendly.结尾好仓促。然后既然是加了让步段的，觉得论证的时候有必要一两句针对性地驳斥下让步段理由。 唉~~我也没写过这种结构的。只是这么觉得咯~~

加油咯~~O(∩_∩)O~

如是_ivyUID: 2704554

唉~~~这个世界啊bug害死人~~再也不一边用搜狗浏览器改作文，一边上校内了。一会就bug了~~然后又重看！！人品咯

zhengping001UID: 2689322

10.10 playing computergames is wasting time 。 Children should not allowed to play them"{& c# h  c  ?9 }# M% ~

( u  }, }9 ~  ]2 \(TAn expanding number of people begin toconcern the issue that whether playing computer games is wasting time. Somehold the position that children should not be allowed to play them because theyseem to be useless for children. Contrary to the opinion of those people is myheartfelt view that some computer games is(are) beneficial to improve children's creative(creativity) and torelax and relieve the pressure from study and children should be allowed toplay them appropriately., ^6 \: C7 l5 c,K  `8 `: k6 C( f
7 N9 M6 P: [, P.L" u( Y
Admittedly, some children virtually waste a lot oftime on playing some types of computer games. The online games on computersrepresent the trend of the development of computer games, which, I have to say,are considered as the symbol of boring and meaningless. If a child starts hisor her online games life, he or she can not easily get rid of it. The online games to the child is(are) what the drug to theaddict(如果这句用好了，是很漂亮的，the online game is to the child what the drug isto a addict). It is not amazing tofind that children who stay up until later night not focus on their homeworkbut on the virtual monster in the World of Warcraft. And on(no) one(no anybody) can deny that playing online games actually spent a plentyof time which should be used on studyingor sporting(study or sport). ) F8u& f: M, Y8 X% r

, a0 t) a+ a3 z+ a/ mNevertheless, under the supervise(supervision,or supervisor), some classical computer gamescan improve the innovation of children. Everything has two sides, including, ofcourse, computer games. Some computer games are very interesting and force(and前后要统一，forcing) the players to think and to find out the way tomake it work(make their work). For instance, tetris, which is regarded asalmost the most famous PC games until now, can help children to enhance theirresponse speed and to improve the ability of making decision quickly) ?*b+ n# [" A
with dropping blocks; or winmine, which is a additional game the Windows, canprovide children more opportunities to use their reasoning. Individuals'intelligence plays a significant role in all of those games. So, it is wise totreat different games in different ways.& l! m7 L8 y1 U* X
; R7 X" F$ K8 B& D
Furthermore, the prime goal of computer games is toentertain people and they actually attain the goal. With the name"game", computer games should be inspected as a way for relax ratherthan for education. For me, when I feel upset, I am willing to play somecomputer games to loose the pressure and enjoy myself. And moreover, if playingcomputer games as a break from the hard work is wasting time, then all the timespend on such entertainment as movie and music should be considered as waste oftime.
: A: s& e. |- q6 J

* j! @" k3 c' [/ g,P  K; U2 T# g7 e- `Although, it iswaste of time that children play some kinds of computer games too much, playingsome mind inspiring computer games in spear time is a good way to relax andbeneficial for the sound development of children.

1兄弟的这篇文章错误处很少，只是感觉论点不是很充分，说服力不够。只看到你在第三段落描述playing computer games 好处。
2结构跟语言运用方面都还可以。句式也运用了很多种。
3再者举的几个例子很好，但要是再进一步说一些它的好处就更好了。
4.兄弟我也是刚开始写，记得要帮我回改哦！
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1015794&extra

zhangyzzzUID: 2615373

10.11
Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place.

An expanding number of people begin to concern the issue that where is the best place for people to live, city or country. Some hold the position that people should live in the place where they live now for all life. Contrary to the opinion of those people is my heartfelt agreement with the view that the best place for living varies due to the age of individual.

Admittedly, people are willing to live in the place with which they familiar.
As the old saying goes, east, west, home is the best. Everyone has an special emotion toward the hometown. Take me as an example, when I eat awful dishes in our university cafeteria, I invariably miss my home far away from my university. Because my mother is very good at cooking and can make all the dishes I like, such as kungpao chicken which is my favorite dishes. Besides, the smell of the soil and the shadow avenue in the city where I lived before is my best memory. If there is a choice, I am likely to live at home with my mother rather than the dormitory in another city.

Nevertheless, living in the same place for entire life is not a wise option. As we all know, rural life is more comfortable and heather. So it is better for a family to reside in countryside, if there are children or the old in the family. Imagine the picture that a litter boy play with a crowd of children in the yard without the heavy pollution and harsh traffic noisy or an old man sits in his chair watching the sunset which is always blocked by the forest of the building in cities. On the other hand, for youngsters, there are more opportunities in cities. Teenagers can attain better education resources and get familiar with the latest tendency of the whole world. When they are going to hunt jobs, there are thousands of available positions for them. Every business building in downtown is filled with energetic young people. Even the one without any degree can find a job as a cleaner or a waiter. No one can deny that cities are the heaven for youngsters to pursue their career goal and their better life.


Although people often make the understandable but irrational decision that they should reside in the same place forever, it is, in generally, advisable to decide where to live according to the different situation. In other words, people should dwell in cities to fulfill their dream when they are young and move to countryside to enjoy the country life at rest of time in all life.

zhangyzzzUID: 2615373

10.12 do you agree or disagree
getting university education is the most important factor for success.

An expanding number of people begin to concern the issue that what are the influences of university education on students. Nowadays without degree youngsters hardly find job in this increasing competent society. And some contend the point that attending university is the most significant factor to succeed. Contrary to the opinion of those people is my heartfelt agreement with the point of view that university education for a person is very important, but it is neither the only factor nor the most important factor for success.

Admittedly, to attain knowledge in college is very helpful not only for teenagers' future professional career but also for their social capability. With the professor and advanced facilities, college students can have a better understanding of what they learn. And this will do their a favor when they start to hunt jobs. Besides, the university is a small society. There are all kinds of associations on campus and doing some social work in these organizations will definitely improve the socialize skills like communication skills or cooperation. All of those are the available resources provided by university and using those advantages appropriately virtually is beneficial for the ability of students to obtain success.

Nevertheless, studying in university is not the only way to attain the achievement. There are so many famous figure in history who have never went to university. Edison, the king of the inventor, did not receive any degree, though he devises the greatest invention, bulb, and many other useful things such as projector. As we all know, he test thousands of materials as the wick of the bulb and he failed time and time again until he succeed. No one can deny that his achievement can not be obtained without his insistence and meticulous. This is why I state the university education is not the only essential for success.

Furthermore, among those factors related to succeed, getting university education is not the most significant one. I have to say that success should be ascribed to the combine effect of multiply factors like opportunities. We can easily find examples that a student can not find any job when he or her graduate from university nowadays. Looking at the crowded job market, thousands of labors with degrees are anxiously waiting for the offer.
Are they all not eligible for jobs? I don't think so. Under the depression, there are minor chances and fewer positions for people, and holding a degree can not guarantee the job offer neither.


Although education experiences of studying in university are precious for students, but the factors influence success are very complex. It is superficial to claim that university education is the most important factor.

karen_0315UID: 2590040

An expanding number of people begin to concern the issue that what are the influences of university education on students. Nowadays without degree youngsters hardly find job in this increasing competent society. And some contend the point that attending university is the most significant factor to succeed. Contrary to the opinion of those people is my heartfelt agreement （我以前没有见过这个词，但是查了一下好像没有这么搭配的，heartfelt主要跟感情色彩的词）with the point of view that university education for a person is very important, but it is neither the only factor nor the most important factor for success.
Admittedly, to attain knowledge in college is very helpful not only for teenagers' future professional career but also for their social capability. With the professor and advanced facilities, college students can have a better understanding of what they learn. And this will do their a favor when they start to hunt jobs. Besides, the university is a small society. There are all kinds of associations on campus and doing some social work in these organizations will definitely improve the socialize skills like communication skills or cooperation. All of those are the available resources provided by university and using those advantages appropriately virtually is beneficial for the ability of students to obtain success.
Nevertheless, studying in university is not the only way to attain the achievement. There are so many famous figure in history who have never went to university. Edison, the king of the inventor, did not receive any degree, though he devises the greatest invention, bulb, and many other useful things such as projector. As we all know, he test thousands of materials as the wick of the bulb and he failed time and time again until he succeed. No one can deny that his achievement can not be obtained without his insistence and meticulous. This is why I state the university education is not the only essential for success.

Furthermore, among those factors related to succeed, getting university education is not the most significant one. I have to say that success should be ascribed to the combine effect of multiply factors like opportunities. We can easily find examples that a student can not find any job when he or her graduate from university nowadays. Looking at the crowded job market, thousands of labors with degrees are anxiously waiting for the offer.
Are they all not eligible for jobs? I don't think so. Under the depression, there are minor chances and fewer positions for people, and holding a degree can not guarantee the job offer neither.
`
Although education experiences of studying in university are precious for students, but the factors influence success are very complex. It is superficial to claim that university education is the most important factor.

都很不错啊，结构也好语言也好，都值得学习。已经很优秀了。唯一可以指出的问题是前面让步内容太多了，没有必要用那么一大段说反面观点。