10.6美利坚作文组（交了好几篇 没人改过） 医疗or 环境

lb88614UID: 2511185

政府應該在醫療保障還是環境問題上花費更多精力？
Considerable though the advantages that protecting the environment enjoys are, they can't compete with the benefits that a desirable medical system brings about, when the seriousness, width of effects and the existed systems of the two departments are taken into account.

First and foremost, medical issue is a matter of fact that related to billions of people, a matter related to live or death. It's widely accepted that even with the development modern society, people suffered from various illnesses, some even unexpected and unmeet serious ones, such as AIDS, HIV and so forth. These illnesses all require large amounts of money and energy to cure. There is even no effective act to completely cure these diseases, at least so far.
On the other hand, environmental problems have existed for decades. Some scientists believe that the nature has its own method to relieve the problems. They believe that the increasing amount of carbon dioxide will stimulate the growth of green trees, resulting, and to some extent, cutting down the amount of waste pollution air. Thus, the problems on environment are not as serious as medical ones.

Equally important to the influence the decision on which problem is more urgent is that which problem exerts more lasting impact on the development of society. Symbolizing the standard of one country's welfare and humans' lives is the area of public health system. No one can deny the basic fact that few people will like to live in a place with little public health care systems. In fact, it is the high welfare of all aspects of humans' live, including education and public health, that attracts millions of people from other countries migrate to some western countries, such as Iceland and Canada. Also, according to a recent survey, most people express their desire to improve the public health systems in our country.

Imposing the government to invest more energy in medical systems is that our medical systems nowadays leave much to desire, they are far from satisfactory. In large areas of the countryside, billions of people still have to live a primitive life, a life that they have to run the risk of losing life because of the poor medicine care system. When they get ill, the only way to solve this problem is to let it go and wait it to back by itself. In response, their physical health gets worse and worse. What's luckily for us is that our government is beginning to take strong measures to solve these problems. However, the environmental problems are not so bad to so many people although I admit they also require protecting.

To sum up, the public health issue is a matter that related to millions of life, a problem in desperate need of attention and requires considerable amount of time and money. They deserve more energy than environmental issues.

hydrusUID: 171899

Considerable though the advantages that protecting the environment enjoys are, they can't compete with the benefits that a desirable medical system brings about, when the seriousness, width of effects and the existed systems of the two departments are taken into account.第一句有点长了，分成两句是不是更好点

First and foremost, medical issue is a matter of fact that（不要that) related to billions of people, (a matter related to去掉) live or death. It's widely accepted that even with the development modern society, people suffered from various illnesses, some even unexpected and unmeet serious ones, such as AIDS, HIV and so forth. These illnesses all require large amounts of money and energy（effort) to cure. There is even no effective act to completely cure these diseases, at least so far(这个词和to some extent类似，不错）.

On the other hand, environmental problems have existed for decades. Some scientists believe that the nature has its own method to relieve（这个词不错） the problems. They believe that the increasing amount of carbon dioxide will stimulate the growth of green trees, resulting, and to some extent, cutting down the amount of waste pollution air. Thus, the problems on environment are not as serious as medical ones.,

Equally important to the influence the decision on which problem is more urgent is that which problem exerts more lasting impact on the development of society. （这个倒装句有点别扭，把which problem is more urgent 去掉呢？）Symbolizing the standard of one country's welfare and humans' lives is the area of public health system. No one can deny the basic fact that few people will like to live in a place with little public health care systems. In fact, it is the high welfare of all aspects of humans' live, including education and public health, that attracts millions of people from other countries migrate to some western countries（migrating from ... to ....), such as Iceland and Canada. Also, according to a recent survey, most people express their desire to improve the public health systems in our country.

Imposing the government to invest more energy in medical systems is that our medical systems nowadays leave much to desire, they are far from satisfactory. In large areas of the countryside, billions of people still have to live a primitive life, a life that they have to run the risk of losing life because of the poor medicine care system. When they get ill, the only way to solve this problem is to let it go and wait it to back by itself. In response, their physical health gets worse and worse. What's luckily for us is that our government is beginning to take strong measures to solve these problems. However, the environmental problems are not so bad to so many people although I admit they also require protecting(solution).

To sum up, the public health issue is a matter that related to millions of life, a problem in desperate need of attention and requires considerable amount of time and money. They deserve more energy than environmental issues.
lz有一定的语言功底，不知道是不是准备国GRE的作文，句式上偏向复杂，但是简单句不够。另外虽然有三个观点，但是支撑的例子不够。感觉lz可以把语言精简，把例子弄生动些。