10.8 作文

LRXSSUID: 2695903

Nowadays, with the rapid development of the modern technology and the fast progress on the financial aspect, telephone, especially mobile phone, has indeed influenced us to a certain extent. So the problem emerges: does the telephone affect us more than the traditional entertainment-----television? Well. In my perspective, the outlook is way too prejudiced. On the influence issue, there are several ways that the telephone can’t compare with the television.
First and for most, obviously, the time that one spends on a television is much more than that of a telephone. For instance, in most cases, one may just spend minutes to talk with others over the phone. On the contrary, at most of the time, when you turn on the TV, you won’t leave it in a hour or so. The reason why you spend so long a time is that most of the TV programmes does occupy a large amount of time. For example, a football match, a TV series. Actually, some adolescents spend so much time in front of the TV set that they forget to eat and drink. The so-called potato brain comes from that. Children just sit in front of the TV with some packs of chips in their hands for whole day.
Secondly, the television does causes a serious social problem—near-sighted. As far as I’m concerned, the group of people who has a similar age with me has become near-sighted because they don’t know how to watch TV correctly and healthily. They just lie on the sofa or stand very close to the TV. They don’t know to have a rest after watching it for a period of time. On the contrary, I haven’t been informed of news that telephones has caused some diseases in our daily lives.
Admittedly, the telephone does influence us so much. However, as illustrated above, when compared to the TV, it isn’t that much. As a matter of fact, we are now being affected by the television so much that we don’t recognize it, regarding it as some normal issues.

doubledianUID: 2661760

Nowadays, with the rapid development of the modern technology and the fast progress on the financial aspect, telephone, especially mobile phone, has indeed influenced us to a certain extent. So the problem emerges: does the telephone affect us more than the traditional entertainment-----television? Well. In my perspective, the outlook is （这个地方不用加a吗？）way too prejudiced. On the influence issue（这个。。。这两个词都是既可以做动词也可以作名词，但是没有可以做adj的）, there are several ways that the telephone can’t compare with the television.% j, H1 V/ K+ P  A! Z! a
First and for most, obviously, the time that one spends on a television is much more than that of a telephone. For instance, in most cases, one may just spend minutes to talk with others over the phone. On the contrary, at most of the time, when you turn on the TV, you won’t leave it in a（an） hour or so. The reason why you spend so long a time is that most of the TV programmes（我也觉得这地方没有错，但是放在word上为什么被画上红线了啊？word给的修改建议我觉得也不适合） does （你看你前面用的programmes是复数，这个地方为什么会是does啊？）occupy a large amount of time. For example, a football match（这个地方word给的建议是match后加es，我也觉得很纳闷，你请教一下高手吧）, a TV series. Actually, some adolescents spend so much time in front of the TV set that they forget to eat and drink. The so-called potato brain comes from that. Children just sit in front of the TV with some packs of chips in their hands for whole day. ! W  K+ V4 C  n  e4 U$ Z& K
Secondly, the television does causes a serious social problem—near-sighted. As far as I’m concerned, the group of people who has a similar age with me has become near-sighted because they don’t know how to watch TV correctly and healthily. They just lie on the sofa or stand very close to the TV. They don’t know to have a rest after watching it for a period of time. On the contrary, I haven’t been informed of news that telephones has（telephone都是复数了还用has） caused some diseases in our daily lives.
Admittedly, the telephone does influence us so much. However, as illustrated above, when compared to the TV, it isn’t that much. As a matter of fact, we are now being affected by the television so much that we don’t recognize it, regarding it as some normal issues. ; T1 X2 b% u  D& h
这篇作文给我感觉就是观点很明确，但是论述上稍稍有点问题，语言表述很不错，主要就是论述上的问题，我自己的作文水平不高，所以改得不尽完美，请见谅！继续加油吧