综合作文4 W 澎恰恰

zhhmt86UID: 2288538

写的烂 请多指教

猛拍吧


The lecture discusses that the dinosaurs could be defined as a kind of reptiles, which differs from the main idea in the reading that the dinosaurs are actually endotherms, because there is ample and definite evidence.

According to the lecture, the professor says that when the dinosaurs lived, the polar regions were much warmer than the today’s polar areas, so various and considerable reptiles were able to adapted and lived in that condition. So in conclusion, the present
dinosaurs fossils which have been discovered in the polar regions does not prove the dinosaurs were reptile. But the reading states that the dinosaurs were endotherms, obviously, only endotherms could maintain the moderate and safe temperature in the chill condition of the polar regions

The professor makes the point that the legs were under the body of dinosaurs, unlike crocodiles and lots of lizards, which is insufficient to conclude the dinosaurs are endotherms for two reasons. Firstly, it necessarily means that the dinosaurs highly and effectively used the energy for the running. Secondly, there is diverse explanation for having legs under the body, due to the body structure supported much weight, so the dinosaurs have the huge side. Conversely, the reading demonstrates an idea that it easily infers the dinosaurs were endotherms , because the position of the leg of the dinosaurs were as same as the modern endotherms.


Contrary to the passage that the dinosaurs are the endotherms for the presence of the Haversian canals is a bold sign , the professor says that though the the dinosaurs possesses the Haversian canals , the procession of the growth is growth-strain. Growth-strain consists of a serious of experiences when the dinosaurs rapidly grew. And the normal grow and the slow grow are followings, during the cold periods. So the growth of the dinosaurs is a circulation, which suggested the fast growth is again after the normal and the slow. However, the endotherms maintained the constant body temperature and growth speed ,even if the surroundings are cool .

In conclusion, the lecture discusses the problem of the relation between the dinosaurs and the endotherms that the reading views in the opposite angle.

lingyeminUID: 2538874

The lecture discusses that the dinosaurs could be defined as a kind of reptiles, which differs from the main idea in the reading that the dinosaurs are actually endotherms, because there is ample and definite evidence(这句话的修饰对象不明确，是想说明lecture中有很多evidence证明dinosaurs are reptiles 或者想说明的是dinosaurs are endotherms。最好把主语直接写明。that the dinosaurs are actually endotherms。The professor provides some evidence to reinforce her opinion as follows.)

According to the lecture, the professor says that when the dinosaurs lived, the polar regions were much warmer than the today’s polar areas, so various and considerable（我在lecture中没有听到这两个修饰语，个人觉得lecture中的内容不能随意的增加） reptiles were able to adapted and lived in that condition. So in conclusion, the present dinosaurs’ fossils which have been discovered in the polar regions does not prove the dinosaurs were reptile-endotherms(阅读文章中说dinosaurs是endotherms，lecture中则为了证明dinosaurs不是endotherms). But the reading states that the dinosaurs were endotherms, obviously, only endotherms could maintain the moderate and safe temperature in the chill（good word， I did not realize it） condition of the polar regions

The professor makes the point that the legs were under the body of dinosaurs, unlike crocodiles and lots of lizards(这两个新名词我没有在lecture中发现，我听力不是很好。如果真的没有就不能随意的加), which is insufficient to conclude the dinosaurs are endotherms for two reasons. Firstly, it necessarily means that the dinosaurs highly and effectively used the energy for the running. Secondly, there is diverse explanation for having legs under the body；（逗号不能连接独立的两个complete sentence） due to(due to 后加名词，分词或动名词，不能加句子，due to-because)the body structure supported much weight, so（如果前面有because这些词后面就不要写SO，和although和but一样） the dinosaurs have the huge side. Conversely, the reading demonstrates an idea that it easily infers the dinosaurs were endotherms , because the position of the leg of the dinosaurs were as same as the modern endotherms.

Contrary to the passage that the dinosaurs are the endotherms for the presence of the Haversian canals is a bold sign , the professor says that though the the（删） dinosaurs possesses（复数名词后用possess）the Haversian canals , the procession of the growth is growth-strain. Growth-strain consists of a serious of experiences when the dinosaurs rapidly grew，（ and连接两个独立的句子前加逗号即可）and the normal grow and the slow grow are followings, during the cold periods. So the growth of the dinosaurs is a circulation, which suggested the fast growth is （时态一致性）again after the normal and the slow. However, the endotherms maintained the constant body temperature and growth speed, even if the surroundings are cool.(主从句时态一致)

In conclusion, the lecture discusses the problem of the relation （直接可以写relationship，觉得更加简洁，清楚）between the dinosaurs and the endotherms that the reading views in the opposite angle.


标点符号要注意，句号，逗号的使用（他们紧随单词之后，不用加空格），and，but，so，yet，nor, or这些词连接连个complete sentence前面加逗号即可，或者用分号，或者用句号第二个句子之前就不用加and。

我刚开始复习托福，所以有改得不当之处请和我讲一下，帮我也纠错，进步！

hualazimiUID: 2707120

The lecture discusses that the dinosaurs could be defined as a kind of reptiles, which differs from the main idea in the reading that the dinosaurs are actually endotherms, because there is ample and definite evidence.
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According to the lecture, the professor says that when the dinosaurs lived on the earth(添加), the polar regions were much warmer than the today’s polar areas(去掉), so various and considerable reptiles were able to adapted and lived in that condition. So in conclusion, the present . S3 m1 z& w1 J4 T, O7 w
dinosaurs fossils which have been discovered in the polar regions does not prove the dinosaurs were reptile（恐龙难道不是爬行动物吗？）. But the reading states that the dinosaurs were endotherms, obviously, only endotherms could maintain the moderate and safe temperature in the chill condition （我不知道chill可不可以形容condition，一般都是chill weather ，chill wind）of the polar regions* E) y（（）
）


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The professor makes the point that the legs were under the body of dinosaurs, unlike crocodiles and lots of lizards, which is insufficient to conclude the dinosaurs are endotherms for two reasons. Firstly, it necessarily means that the dinosaurs highly and effectively used the energy for the running. Secondly, there is diverse explanation for having legs under the body, due to the body structure supported much weight, so the dinosaurs have the huge side. Conversely, the reading demonstrates an idea that it easily infers the dinosaurs were endotherms , because the position of the leg of the dinosaurs were as same as the modern endotherms.
7 E9 Q3 N+ K+ F: q+ Y
4 M" `% [, }3 T" x   c3 z- ^/ Y# |/ p1 h6 o8 `
Contrary to the passage that the dinosaurs are the endotherms for the presence of the Haversian canals is a bold sign , the professor says that though the the dinosaurs possesses the Haversian canals , the procession of the growth is growth-strain. Growth-strain consists of a serious of experiences when the dinosaurs rapidly grew. And the normal grow and the slow grow are followings,（growth） during the cold periods. So the growth of the dinosaurs is a circulation, which suggested the fast growth is again (again 很少放在句中)after the normal and the slow. However, the endotherms maintained the constant body temperature and growth speed ,even if the surroundings are cool .9 ?, O. I2 Q) ?3 w( A
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In conclusion, the lecture discusses the problem of the relation between the dinosaurs and the endotherms that the reading views in the opposite angle.

zhhmt86UID: 2288538

When graduating from the high school, the majority of students choose to continue their academic careers instead of entering into the labor market to directly find a job. Obviously, it is an invaluable experience that learning and living in these versatile universities. So, in my view, I suppose that there is significant and undivided relationship between the career of higher education and the success, but other supporting factors also are necessary in the brilliant life, such as the spirit of cooperation and the experience of profession.

To begin with, university is able to provide the elementary and substantial knowledge, which is out of reach from the society or family. From a recent survey from a famous web side of China, almost 87% percent people agree with the university is important in the learning process, above 51% percent suppose it is most important. The truth is exact, indeed, the university consists of diverse and practical compulsory courses and selected courses. For instance, to be an outstanding reporter, the student need to learn communication, literature, public relationship, advisement, the basic journalism and so on, this kind of training which is absent in the university, not only constructs the structure of knowledge, but also improve the logic of thinking and professionalism.

What is more, everyone knows, success is not a single event. So compared to the learning in the university, sometimes, the interpersonal relationship is more essential when someone is pursuing the achievement. Fortunately, if you admit a prestigious university , you have an amazing chance to share the interpersonal resource. For example, a graduate joins in an ample and international company where are plentiful of co-workers or even leaders came from the same university, it is easier for the graduate to get more help and guidance from the school fellows, definitely, it means the tight tie among the school fellows, from generation to generation.


Finally, we have to cherish that the learning and the interpersonal relationship from the university, but other factors also help us to achieve our own goal, such as the spirit of cooperation and the experience of profession. Firstly, the cooperation with each co-worker could make the worker be filled with competence and benefit from the other co-workers. Secondly, the worker who possesses lots of working experience could handle the job more efficient than who are unskilled.  

In conclusion, we can easily to infer that the university just likes a step of stair towards the success. Undoubtedly, it should be not overlooked, but besides that, we need to point out that others are necessary steps to the success, too.  

zhhmt86UID: 2288538

tpo2 综合 by 澎恰恰

Obviously, the professor makes the point with the details and examples that handle a certain new project as a team is not a desirable approaching, which differs from the main idea from the reading.


First of all, the professor claims that it is an unfortunately truth some people are always right, who are able to control most of the problems and tasks. They contribute their energy and intelligence to the team, however, other people of the team who could also benefit from the whole team, in spite of doing nothing. Actually, no name was named; the team receives the award by the name of a whole. Oppositely, the reading states that the individual team member possesses a good opportunity to “highlight”.


What is more, the reading materials state that a team can response more quickly to the assignments, since a number of members take possession of the various resources and preoccupy the task. Oppositely, according to the lecture, the professor argues that the team, occasionally, does not move quickly, because it is hard to achieve the uniformity. There are many meeting in order to build the certain agreements which are about the team how to process the project.

Finally, the reading illustrates that the team could probably generate the more creative idea than the single member, due to the team afford the risk and responsibility. Contrary to the viewpoint, the professor says, when the influential member opposites a certain idea, it is dropped quickly. In another occasion, if a couple of influential persons has a diverse opinions, they just make a further discussion about the diversities, ignoring the thinking of the other members. In a word, not each member’s idea and creation could be treated equally.

6886liminUID: 2542415

Obviously, the professor makes the point with the details and examples that handle a certain new project as a team is not a desirable approaching, which differs from the main idea from the reading.
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First of all, the professor claims that it is an unfortunately truth some people are always right, who are able to control most of the problems and tasks. They contribute their energy and intelligence to the team, however, other people of the team who could also benefit from the whole team, in spite of doing nothing（have no contribution）. Actually, no name was named; the team receives the awards by the name of a whole. Oppositely, the reading states that the individual team member possesses a good opportunity to “highlight”.


What is more, the reading materials state that a team can response more quickly to the assignments, since a (large numbers)number of members take possession of the various resources（写得好） and preoccupy the task. Oppositely, according to the lecture, the professor argues that the team, occasionally, does not move quickly, because it is hard to achieve the uniformity. There are many meetings in order to build the certain agreements which are about the team how to process the project.
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Finally, the reading illustrates that the team could probably generate the（some） more creative ideas than the single member does, due to the team affording the risk and responsibility. Contrary to the viewpoint, the professor says, when the influential member opposites a certain idea, it（the decision） is dropped（dragged） quickly. In another occasion, if a couple of influential persons has a（have） diverse opinions, they just（have to） make a further discussion about the diversities, ignoring the thinking of the other members. In a word, not each member’s idea and creation could be treated equally 总体写的很好 有些长句结构把握不太好 preoccupy 感觉用的不对我改成 the tasks preoccupy the minds of the whole team sth. preoccupy sb 个人观点仅供参考

lmsleeperUID: 2559158

4# zhhmt86
When graduating from the high school, the majority of students choose to continue their academic careers instead of entering into the labor market to directly find a job. Obviously, it is an invaluable experience that learning and living in these versatile（我不确定有versatile university 这个用法，或许简单用various） universities. So, in my view, I suppose that there is significant and undivided relationship between the career of higher education and the success, but other supporting factors also are necessary in the brilliant life, such as the spirit of cooperation and the experience of profession.; K* ]* }) j8 l/ C3 O0 ]3 G  L( {- }

To begin with, university is able to provide the elementary and substantial knowledge, which is out of reach from（of） the society or family. From a recent survey from a famous web side of China, almost 87% percent people agree with （that）
the university is important in the learning process, above 51% percent suppose it is most important. The truth is exact, indeed, (because) the university consists of (provides) diverse and practical compulsory courses and selected courses.(and 最好在进一步指出：这些课程是将来职业的基础) For instance, to be an outstanding reporter, the student need to learn communication, literature, public relationship, advisement, the basic journalism and so on,（.） this kind of training which is absent (presented) in the university, not only constructs the structure of knowledge, but also improve the logic of thinking and professionalism.
这段意思清楚,逻辑清晰。


What is more, everyone knows, success is not a single event. So compared to the learning in the university, sometimes, the （strong） interpersonal relationship
(developed in university) is more essential when someone is pursuing the achievement. Fortunately, if you admit（are admitted by） a prestigious university , you have an amazing chance to share the interpersonal resource (resource of interpersonal relation). For example, (when) a graduate joins in an ample and international company where (there) are plentiful of co-workers or even leaders came from the same university, it is easier for the graduate to get more help and guidance from the school fellows,(.) definitely, it means the tight tie among the school fellows, from generation to generation.
这段没太说清楚, interpersonal relationship
是个中性词，既有好的关系又有坏的关系。其实这段要讲的是reciprocal relationship between school fellows promotes success in career. *



Finally, we have to cherish that the learning and the interpersonal relationship from the university, but other factors also help us to achieve our own goal, such as the spirit of cooperation and the experience of profession. Firstly, the cooperation with each co-worker could make the worker be filled with competence (enhance the competence of workers) and benefit (them) from the other co-workers. Secondly, the worker who possesses lots of working experience could handle the job more efficient(ly) than who are unskilled.  1 D; X$ E' J$ ~. A5 c& @
个人意见：在IBT作文这样的短文中，正面论述都不可能太充分的情况下，让步段除了削弱主要观点外，很难起到更好的作用。

In conclusion, we can easily to infer that the university just likes a step of stair towards the success. Undoubtedly, it should be not (should not be) overlooked, but besides that, we need to point out that others are necessary steps to the success, too.  

橙色是我觉得用的好的地方。
楼主词汇丰富，文章主要结构也清楚。缺点是语法错误过多，部分用词准确性有待提高。
我水平也有限，共同提高！

zhhmt86UID: 2288538

Important decisions are those that will exert long-lasting and significant
influence on one’s life. Sometimes such a decision is difficult too make since the result is considerable or the decision’s circumstances and implication are too complicated. Consequently, people always ask their friends, family members to get some practical and suitable suggestions, instead of making decision on their own. Apparently, I suppose that seeking advice is better choice when someone confronts the diverse options or the tough situation.

To begin with, discussing important decision with others can be beneficial and considerate, especially if people have experience with problem at hand. For instance, graduating from high school, I should choose the university and specialty, Unfortunately, I am totally too young to make the thoughtful and reasonable decision on my own. In the view of the seriousness of the problem, I always think over a variety of aspects of the issue so that could not make a effective and exact decision. As a result, I consult my parents, they are so acquainted with my character, my advantages and shortcomings that they can provide the constructive suggestion. Actually, they help me to analyze the current situation and the further development of one profession, they advise me to take journalism, which I found really suit me well later: During the learning process in the university, I found that no major was more attractive and brilliant than journalism. And I received masses of professional trainings such as how to interview, how to edit, and how to write briefs, comments, and reviews, which directly have contributed me to an outstanding reporter.

In addition, there is no denying the basis fact is that lots of decisions associate with the entire group, organization and family members etc. When it comes to this situation, communication and exchange concerning the decision is indispensable. For instance, in a family, husband and wife should communicate with each other before making up their mind to quit or change a job. After all, the change of a job could extremely impart many aspects of their life together, such as the household incomes or the amount of time they can spend together.

From what has been discussed above, I may safely draw a conclusion: people are able to communicate with others in order to seek the optimal advice and solution when are trapped in a dilemma, which are wise approaches. Meanwhile, the more meaningful and important thing is, the person should also have bravery and capability to accept any consequence after they made a certain choice.

zhhmt86UID: 2288538

Do you agree or disagree：Technology helps to make people's lives simpler or make people's lives more complicated.


Undoubtedly, the advanced technology is playing a vital role in our modern lives. With the development of science and technology, there are a variety of changes among us. We can communicate with our friends and family members via Internet, take a trip with diverse transportations, or have a rest and relax in the cinema with the 3D-IMAX screen, which come from the progress of the technology. Although the controversial issue has been debated, I firmly suppose that technology contribute people’s lives to be simpler.

To begin with, no one can deny the basic fact is that most of people need not worry about whether there would be enough food or not to eat, which is a serious and big problem in the past few decades. Because the amount of farmers lacked of the advanced and significant implements and skills in those old days, agriculture was unable to satisfy the needs of people’s daily life. Compared to the old days, nowadays, more and more tools and technologies have become widespread; most farmers could also master the skill about manipulating them, for instance, they can build the greenhouse and control the inside temperature so that they would have a remarkably harvest.

Furthermore, we could utilize a certain technology to get the wide and latest information and news on over the world; this is definitely impossible thing in the past few decades. For instance, no invention is more amazing and attractive than Internet, as long as people own a common computer which is connect to the Internet, they could find lots of information and news, people also collect many kind of materials like movies, books, music, even advertisements. How it is convenient! On the other hand, through the Internet, communication among people becomes more frequently, people could chat with their family, friends, even strangers on the Internet wherever they are, instead of the long waiting of letters or the expense of telephone.

Eventually, in our leisure time, the technology could make it simpler and more fantastic. When we trap in the depression or just relax ourselves from the noisy reality, there are a series of options to us: we could go into the 3D-IMAX cinema to appreciate a movie; listen to the music is from Ipod player; take an amazing global travel by plane. Obviously, 3D-IMAX cinema, Ipod player, and plane, they are all products of the advanced technology. In other words, we are always enjoying the advantages which are the products the technology, but we merely ignore the truth.


From what have been discussed, I may safely draw a conclusion: the existence
of the technology is not the barricade and complication in our daily life, oppositely, the most significant meaning of the technology, which should simplify and beatify life step by step.

eyreknowUID: 2604430

Undoubtedly, the advanced technology is playing a vital role in our modern lives. With the development of science and technology, there are a variety of changes among us. We can communicate with our friends and family members via Internet, take a trip with diverse transportations, or have a rest and relax in the cinema with the 3D-IMAX screen, which come from the progress of the technology. Although the controversial issue has been debated, I firmly suppose that technology contribute people’s lives to be simpler.(逻辑关系不成立，我猜你是想说虽然这个问题很复杂，但是我还是支持某观点。但是你写出来的就不是这意思了……）

To begin with, no one can deny the basic fact is that most of people（the majority who live in our modern society) need not worry about whether there would be enough food or not to eat, which is a serious and big problem in （during?)the past few decades. Because the amount of farmers lacked of(lack是一动词，lack of是名词短语不能做谓语） the advanced and significant implements and skills in those old days, agriculture（农业，农艺，我不肯定这个不对，但是用在这很奇怪，换成the crops yielded呢？） was unable to satisfy the needs of people’s daily life. Compared to the old days, nowadays, more and more tools and technologies have become widespread; most farmers could also master the skill about manipulating them, for instance, they can build the greenhouse and control the inside temperature so that they would have a remarkably harvest. (私以为，would是用在"when we imagine sth. or action“的时候，恰恰TX觉得这换成may或者might会不会好一些？）

Furthermore, we could utilize a certain technology to get the wide and latest information and news on over the world;（on over?happening all over the world) this is definitely impossible thing in the past few decades. For instance, no invention is more amazing and attractive than Internet, as long as people own a common computer which is connect to the Internet, they could find lots of information and news, people also collect many kind of materials like movies, books, music, even advertisements. How it is convenient! (why?)On the other hand, through the Internet, communication among people becomes more frequently, people could chat with their family, friends, even strangers on the Internet wherever they are, instead of the long waiting of letters or the expense of telephone.

Eventually, in our leisure time, the technology could make it(把leisure time移回来放这，否则IT指代的是？因为你前面写in our leisure time了） simpler and more fantastic. When we trap（are trapped) in the depression or just relax ourselves from the noisy(这个形容很怪异，尤其你后面还写3D影院，那音响效果是多么的XX啊） reality, there are a series of options to us: we could go into the 3D-IMAX cinema to appreciate a movie; listen to the music is from Ipod player; take an amazing global travel by plane. Obviously, 3D-IMAX cinema, Ipod player, and plane, they are all products of the advanced technology. In other words, we are always enjoying the advantages which are the products the technology, but we merely ignore the truth. （没证明提出新观点，谁ignore了？逗号前止住就好。）

From what have been discussed, I may safely draw a conclusion: the exist
of the technology is not the barricade and complication in our daily life, oppositely, the most significant meaning of the technology, which should simplify and beatify life step by step. （复杂也许是阻碍，但是简单不等于美化，虽然你上文证实了美化的感觉，后面总结细说。）

总结：整体上还不错，中规中矩，但是题目是简单复杂之间，你文中其实并没有怎么强调这两者之间的关系。换个方法说，如果让写科技让生活变好还是变坏了，你这文章除了几个Topic sentences要改一下以外，其余完全可以直接用过去。嗯，就是要把这个过程具体化，你这里有一个例子做到了，就是那个交流不用出门。
其它的像找新闻信息之类，论证最好更具体一些。

水平有限，先这样吧~